Was relaxing at home on Saturday afternoon before planning to go out for the football, Edith and Edweena were out for the day. All of a sudden I felt like I was having a panic attack. Shortness of breath, non-resting heartrate, cloudy brain fog, immediate memory issues and feeling of doom (as if could pass out).
Went to lie down in bed and over the next few hours it was as if someone slowly injected a silicone sealant tube of chemical gloop into me cranium and my brain was just floating in this chemical solution of unknown substance. The rest of the evening/night consisted of very lucid dreams, and when I did get up to go the kitchen/bathroom would feel detached from reality, dizzy, and I think there was one case of auditory and possibly visual hallucinations.
E+E came home and not to freak them out I just told them I’m feeling super tired and have a stomachache. Which at this stage I had from not eating.
I spent all day Sunday in bed, lucid dreams, feeling blurry/dizzy/odd when out of bed. Drinking as much Royal-D Electrolytes as would fit inside me.
Was able to plonk meself in front of the TV to watch the UFC on either late on Sunday night or Monday morning. Slight stomach knot from lack of eating doesn’t help when actually trying to eating to get more food into me and up my blood sugar levels.
Monday evening I manned-up and drove Edith to KFC on demand, felt all blurry and dizzy and passy-outty in there but decided to fuck-it and take it on head-on, either put me down or Feck Off, you bitch ass mutha-fucka. Nobody in the vicinity gave me a second look, and Edith nattered and joked and played around as always, so I must have visually look sane.
This morning(Tuesday…. It is Tuesday isn’t it ) I was fine in the morning, up early, coffee feeling better, fantastic. The brain floating in chemical gloop feeling was gone, I prepped the bike for a 30-40kmcycle, then felt tired, then felt uneasy, then the brain-gloop-floaty feeling came back a bit and I went back into bed for a few hours of semi lucid dreams and that feeling that things are ‘different’.
It’s at a stage now where it seems to come and go for a few hours at a time (the brain sitting in gloop, + slight dizzyness + slight feeling of being detatched from reality, which sounds more extreme than it is ). Stomach knot = not quite able to eat a lot of food, or good solid food, so largely going through the kid’s supply of banana/strawberry milk cartons.
After needing to ditch this morning cycle for a morning of lucid dreams + sleep in bed, I planned to ride me motorbike up to the pharmacy around lunchtime (now) to buy a pack of Vitamin B9 (Folic Acid) which I read is best for cognitive health and all round brain boost, followed by a walk around the park, for fresh air and nature.
I have been caning it for a few months/years of drinking alcohol until late at night, then up early in the morning, maybe 5-6 hours sleep, then caning the gym/exercise to stay fit. I believe the term is burning the wick at both ends.
Which could be it. Hopefully.
Anyone else ever go through a such a total mental breakdown?