On the Lamb in Issan: Slap Makes Clinical Lunch Option Error

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 04:51 PM

Since my wife has apparently sworn a solemn oath to never cook me roast meals ever again, I decided that I'd bid farewell to the farmyard for a few hours (roast potatas, see yer laters) whilst I went out in search for something that resembled traditional Sunday fare.

Yes, I was rather quite taken by the notion of gnawing on the limb of a dead animal today, and have the chef supplement the aforementioned flesh with a barrel of roasted spuds, an assemblage of boiled vegetables, a pyramid of paxo stuff and a basin full of Bisto gravy.

Mm -mmmmm! Now that would most certainly hit the spot.

I scrutinized the menu of my local Western eatery, agonising over the choices. I was going to have to part with large amounts of baht should I want to be fully satisfied at the cessation of the repast - and since I'm accustomed to eating random vegetation, taking chunks out of live wildstock and eating eggs straight out of the chicken's arse, I was wary in my approach - fuck me, I could eat for a bastard fortnight for the price of some of this shit.

I eventually decided on the lamb:

"Grilled New Zealand lamb with french fries and salad - 365 baht"

I wasn't hugely keen on the omnipresence of the fucking french fries and salad which would probably come coated with half a bowl demarera, but I had a definite hankering for a bit of lamb (a la withnallstoke) which eventually broke the deal.

Here it is. Nicely presented..

I was quick to note the size of the cutlets. One mouth full per piece. They literally took me 10 seconds to eat, but admittedly I was going at it like a fucking caveman..

On a brighter note, they tasted superb; were beautifully seasoned with thyme, roasted cherry tomatoes, green and red peppers and garlic...

But I left the venue feeling decidedly 'mai im' and went straight up the 7/11 for a cheese and ham toastie - which is all my budget will now allow for the next five fucking years.

**dirtydog** · 16-09-2012, 04:56 PM

At 365baht you was robbed, have you reported this crime to the police yet?

**Mid** · 16-09-2012, 04:57 PM

perhaps some humble pie with her in-doors

**Daft Old Cat** · 16-09-2012, 05:05 PM

Doesn't beat your Italian sausage escapade

**Thetyim** · 16-09-2012, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

and salad which would probably come coated with half a bowl demarera

You should visit one of our local gastronomic surprise establishment.
They offer a choice of salad dressings.
Firstly the normal yellow salad cream with added white sugar, brown sugar, rock sugar, honey and anything sweet within a 50km range.
Secondly a salad cream made from Dragon fruit which is illuminous, dayglow bright fucking purple.
It looks like a pile of snot from a nuclear plant victim.
Next time you are in Phrae ?

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

At 365baht you was robbed,

No doubt you'd get it cheaper in the city where there's a bit more demand for them - but I agree, for the size of the portions it was daylight theft, hence the fred title, innit..

Originally Posted by Mid

perhaps some humble pie with her in-doors

If it's over 30 baht I'm afraid I shan't be partaking..

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 05:16 PM

Originally Posted by Daft Old Cat

Doesn't beat your Italian sausage escapade

Haha! Surprisingly it isn't on the menu anymore!

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Secondly a salad cream made from Dragon fruit

That's an interesting one. A few cold segments of dragon fruit is great in a salad but I've not heard of the luminous dressing - mashed up dragon fruit doesn't sound too pleasant.

**Necron99** · 16-09-2012, 05:33 PM

Macro, nz lamb roasts, 275 a kilo.
Cheaper than Oz.
You were mugged son, mugged i tell yah.

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by Necron99

You were mugged son, mugged i tell yah.

I like being mugged - it's good for the raging spite lurking deep in the pit of my stomach..

**9999** · 16-09-2012, 05:56 PM

Nice as usual SS. It's a bit steep though mate, my local 'western eatery' has lamb for 200 bt had it today for lunch, was a treat. Sauce was a bastardization of gravy and massaman, with potatoes and carrots and a big chunk of lamb on the bone. Will get a pic next time.

**Thetyim** · 16-09-2012, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

A few cold segments of dragon fruit is great in a salad but I've not heard of the luminous dressing

Here is salmon and Dragon Fruit dressing

**gusG** · 16-09-2012, 07:12 PM

I think that they gave you a child's serve by mistake.
Or did you eat half of it before you took the first picture?

**jizzybloke** · 16-09-2012, 07:15 PM

^^That looks disgusting!

**Thetyim** · 16-09-2012, 07:24 PM

^
Wait till you taste it.
It's sweet

**david44** · 16-09-2012, 07:48 PM

Perhaps you need our cook Agnus Dei

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Here is salmon and Dragon Fruit dressing

Is that an authentic pic? And if so did you eat it? And if yes, how was it? I know how it looks but you never know..

Originally Posted by gusG

I think that they gave you a child's serve by mistake.
Or did you eat half of it before you took the first picture?

No, that was the dish from the outset - poultry serving, and the chips were over cooked. Salad was pretty nice though.

**dirtydog** · 16-09-2012, 09:25 PM

Over cooked frozen french fries, thats quite a feat, shall see if I can manage that.

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

Over cooked frozen french fries

I normally eat them straight out of the bag when I'm pissed so I wasn't too disappointed..

**Thetyim** · 16-09-2012, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Is that an authentic pic? And if so did you eat it? And if yes, how was it?

Pic I took off the net but the colour is real.
Yes I tried it.
Dragon fruit has a delicate flavour and when it's drowned in sugar and oil it gets worse

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by Thetyim

but the colour is real.

At least the projectile puke is authentic

Touch on the sweet side then. Drowning out any flavour the salmon steak had - these people are fucking weird.

**Marmite the Dog** · 16-09-2012, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Dragon fruit has a delicate flavour and when it's drowned in sugar and oil it gets worse

Quite normal in Thai 'cuisine' to drown delicate flavours in sugar, oil & chili.

**somtamslap** · 16-09-2012, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Quite normal in Thai 'cuisine' to drown delicate flavours in sugar, oil & chili.

...and salt.

Next person to add a pinch to my lemon juice gets their head repeatedly rammed into my knee.

**The Big Fella** · 17-09-2012, 07:01 AM

I thought Samui was expensive for western food but that is a royal rip off. if its that expensive up in the boonies I'm staying put

I thought the plan was for a roast dinner not some faggot dressing and cheap as you like frozen chips ?

**somtamslap** · 17-09-2012, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by The Big Fella

but that is a royal rip off

I think we've established that.

Originally Posted by The Big Fella

I thought Samui was expensive

I used to own a pub/restaurant in Samui and we'd serve a lamb roast for 220 baht. Tasty she were..

**The Big Fella** · 17-09-2012, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Originally Posted by The Big Fella

but that is a royal rip off

I think we've established that.

Originally Posted by The Big Fella

I thought Samui was expensive

I used to own a pub/restaurant in Samui and we'd serve a lamb roast for 220 baht. Tasty she were..

There are places here that do a Sunday roast and think they are doing you a favour at 650 Baht a go.
Luckily I have a very nice full sized convector oven so do my own.

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