Thread: The Isaan Farmhand

Originally Posted by OhOh

You get to audition the cheerleaders!

Last time i auditioned them, all they could sing was "you fat bastard", as they juggled their own beer bellies.

maybe because they were Aston Villa fans.

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

^ that's incest...

Not in Slap's case.

Are you sure you were not supervising this endeavor?

Hey Som, What did you do with all your hard earned money?

That video was just about the worst waste of 2 minutes and one second of my entire existence. Taking a dump is more satisfying than watching that!

Originally Posted by OhOh

You notice the world champion does not cut down the stalks as suggested earlier. He also only appears to pull off the husks which are at an easy height.

If "Team Somtamslap" adopted that procedure they would surely win at least the Isaan Regional Finals.

The best procedure would be to have a felang at the front for the higher husks, a GF/Wife behind for the lower husks, a ten year old cutting the stalks. Doing it in the snow would also stop the locals from dropping off for a snooze.

Do we not have any ex sports coaches that would like to manage "Team Somtamslap". The next Asian Olympics will be putting "Corn harvesting" up for inclusion I hear.

What other Asian "sports" would the Thai nation win a gold medal for?

ATM tapping..........Female comp only !

how old are you mate?

Ota

i'd have a combine,i would labor on that stuff.your a better man than me.

Originally Posted by JPPR2

Hey Som, What did you do with all your hard earned money?

Drank it. It's protocol didn't you know, JP!

Originally Posted by ota

how old are you mate?

34, so still able to muster some fairly effective bursts of energy.

You are to be commended most highly for the going-native routine but as a source of new info for us farang, your commentary is near to useless. Did the workers have someone to chat to all day, a Thai necessity? What were the tools? Did you break for lunch? In the fields? How long did it take to get to the cornfields? Did you walk? Did everyone nap? When did you start working? When did you finish? Was there a communal meal when all was over? Was the corn sold at all? What ate the corn and who owned whatever ate the corn? The huskers? eccetera, eccetera, eccetera.

Originally Posted by padova44

Did the workers have someone to chat to all day

mentioned that.

Originally Posted by padova44

What were the tools?

Mentioned that.

Originally Posted by padova44

Did you break for lunch?

Mentioned that.

Originally Posted by padova44

How long did it take to get to the cornfields?

About two seconds. Field backs onto my garden.

Originally Posted by padova44

Did you walk?

This would vary. Sometimes I'd skip. Sometimes I'd mince. Sometimes I'd jump. Sometimes I'd do a series of head over heels.

Originally Posted by padova44

When did you finish?

Between 5 and 6pm, although I thought I'd mentioned that.

Originally Posted by padova44

When did you start working?

Mentioned that.

Originally Posted by padova44

Was there a communal meal when all was over?

No, I was working alone for the most part.

Originally Posted by padova44

Was the corn sold at all?

Indeed it was.

Originally Posted by padova44

What ate the corn and who owned whatever ate the corn?

Animals of some description and bugger knows.

Thanks for the queries. Let me know if you fancy a working holiday and I'll see what I can do. Great way to lose weight/get fit etc.

Jubilation T. Cornpone, old worried and worn Pone aka STS?

The Thos Hardy of Isaan, na?

Originally Posted by grasshopper

The Thos Hardy of Isaan, na?

Was Hardy a fat drunk?

Seriously, anyone up for losing a pile of weight and getting fit, pay me 10 grand, I'll sort you out free grub and a roof over your head, and guaranteed fitnees within a fortnight or yer wonger back.

Any takers?

What is on the menu?

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

What is on the menu?

Fish and vegetables twice a day, you buy your own beer...you don't, repeat DON'T have to stop drinking lager for this diet to work.

You will walk away RIPPED! Unless you're really fat, in which case you'll walk away a little bit wobbly.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

You will walk away RIPPED!

Enough about sphincters already.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

you buy your own beer

Originally Posted by somtamslap

pay me 10 grand

Thats a load of bollox. Why isn't beer included?

^^ Knew you'd say that. I know granny had her wicked way with that 15 inch strap-on last time you were here.

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

Why isn't beer included

Because I don't want to encourage my clients to drink it. The ol LK, on the other hand, is totally congratis.

[QUOTE=somtamslap;1966923]

Originally Posted by JPPR2

Hey Som, What did you do with all your hard earned money?

Drank it. It's protocol didn't you know, JP!

NFS.....and here I was saving it.

I made a very slick and simple clothes drying rack out of PVC pipe for my wonderful laundry washer. She loves it, no more blow overs and can dry all bedding in one time. Anyway lady across the street saw it and told her friend. She came by and asked me to make her one, I made 200 bht on the deal. I saved it......F that, I am off to buy 2 big Leo's and some fried pork skins. I am gonna live a little

^ It's got to be Lau Kau.

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

It's got to be Lau Kau.

Although Ya Dong is largely acceptable and the accompanying light bite should cost no more than five baht, in an ideal world.

how much did you cop from the crop slap?