Thread: My pandemic lockdown project

It all started, as the best stories invariably do, when some dickhead Chinese clodhopper decided to scrimp on supper and chow down on the nearest thing with a heartbeat. Then he coughed and a few weeks later everyone started dying. The next thing you know I'm watching some middle-aged chap with a wild eyes and an unkempt hairdo tell me I'm not allowed to go outside unless it's for an hour's exercise per day.

Nice one, Xiang Yang Hong Choo. You just fucked it. You complete AND UTTER bellend!

So the first few days of the lockdown in the UK and myself and the children went back to basics, while my wife continued working at the nursing home where she was later infected with COVID-19 and admitted to hospital (but that's another story). With trips to the shops to stock up on groceries limited to a once fortnightly affair (my own rule) we decided to stock the cupboards from the surrounding countryside - easy to do in Thailand, but unless you have a fondness for slugs and oaktree leaves you're fresh out of luck in the UK. However, this was mid-spring when the wild garlic was spreading like, well, a fucking virus, so we bagged a bunch and went home and cooked it up with some lamb's liver and onion to make what I consider a lockdown staple. Here we are, skipping through the undergrowth.