Thread: My Splendid Cock

Originally Posted by Mendip

There's always some fly in the ointment... ant on the bollock... to spoil the fun.

... ...

Couldn't the chickens become dog food, once passed onto the big chicken coup in the sky?


Asks Mr. Never had chickens... nor dogs.

Originally Posted by Edmond

Couldn't the chickens become dog food, once passed onto the big chicken coup in the sky?

Could

But doubt that Mendip would get away with 7 dogs feeling starved,looking at his egg laying team as some Super Cheap buffet.

Or would you clean and cook the ..deceased hen first ?

That would work

"Gardener !"

Originally Posted by Edmond

Couldn't the chickens become dog food, once passed onto the big chicken coup in the sky?

They're taking over heaven?

I hope LD doesn't spot that, it would be quite the scoup.

Originally Posted by helge

Or would you clean and cook the ..deceased hen first ?

As a general rule of thumb, if the gardener shows no interest in eating something then I don't risk feeding it to the dogs.

He's never yet eaten one f our deceased chickens and so they've all been given a good, Christian (Buddhist?) burial.

We have very fertile ground.


I checked on the new family this morming and there is only one chick. I had to help it out of the egg last night using a cocktail stick as it was having trouble breaking the membrane inside the shell and luckily it has survived. As the other eggs are showing no signs at all of hatching, I fear this chick will be an only child and the since the weight of the other eggs suggest that they contain chicks, I also fear that I will find a dead, fully-formed chick inside of each egg. That's never nice to see, but I'll give them a couple more days first before checking. The mum usually denotes when there is no more hope by getting up off her nest to take any chicks out into the big wide world.



Maybe the extreme heat has called a problem as I would have expected at least three chicks from four eggs? Maybe she isn't a very good mum? It isn't as easy as just sitting on the eggs for three weeks... you have to regularly turn the eggs, and then stop turning them for the last few days. All that should be instinct, but who knows?

It looks like a little boy to me and I hope that he survives or mum will go broody yet again.



Of course, I have to consider the appalling possibility that unlike his namesake, Nelson isn't doing his duty?

Luckily my big white cock is always ready to perform, if needed.

After a couple of days with no further eggs hatching, the mother came off her nest and brought her chick out into the big, wide world.

I'm pretty sure it's a boy, and it was great to help him out of his egg, but by the time I get back from my upcoming work trip I know that I will have forgotten all about this little episode and he will be yet another juvenile among the flock.



After mum came off her nest I checked the remaining eggs of the clutch and they all just contained a fowl () smelling liquid, suggesting that they weren't fertile.

This obviously raises some questions about Nelson's performance, because the virility of my big white cock is beyond question.

^ She looks like she's getting some good use out of your cock, Mendip... I wonder if the youngster will become a sea captain?

I can finally add a cock to this thread, but my new mistress'seses cock, not mine. I fear her cock may not be as impressive as Mendy's.

25 years old, met in a bookshop not long ago, arranged to meet up and come to one of me places for a night time movie and food panda 2 nights ago, badabindbadaboom and Ed's lulu over heels in love for the 4th time in 3 weeks.

Anyway, she lives 100+km away where she take care of her cock everyday.






The tomcat of roosters.



Presumably his makeup girlie gang.



Presumably not his.



I dunno wot the fudge those things are. What they make McFlurries out of?



Stroking her gay cock. I presume.

Mendy's cock definitely takes the trophy for it's sheer overall impressiveness.

she obviously likes gay cock

Originally Posted by Edmond

I fear her cock may not be as impressive as Mendy's

Mendy's cock definitely takes the trophy for it's sheer overall impressiveness.

This is fast turning into an appreciation thread for my cock, which was never my intention... but maybe inevitable I guess.

Those fluffy hens are known generically as 'silkies', we used to keep a few with the flock in Somerset when I was a kid. I never had a silkie cock though, only hens.

I'm not sure of the exact breed of your girlfriend's cock but I've definitely seen others that look like that. The internet will probably have lots of pictures of different cocks, if you're interested.

Originally Posted by Mendip

I'm not sure of the exact breed of your girlfriend's cock but I've definitely seen others that look like that. The internet will probably have lots of pictures of different cocks, if you're interested.

Thanks, but I will stay faithful to her cock, without the desire to see others, even if they are bigger, more powerful, and invoke a desire to stroke it.

^ You know, it's not clever to make smutty innuendos on this thread. I sometimes wish that I'd named it differently.

Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to getting home as my cock has been much neglected during my six weeks away, offshore.

I'll take a few pictures tomorrow.

your girlfriend's cock

Originally Posted by Mendip

I sometimes wish that I'd named it differently

My girlfriend has a cock , and I don't care - it has a certain deja vu

I thought more along the lines of, 'Keeping chickens in Isaan'.

Try and get a smutty innuendo out of that!

Originally Posted by Mendip

Those fluffy hens are known generically as 'silkies', we used to keep a few with the flock in Somerset when I was a kid. I never had a silkie cock though, only hens.

Well there are 5 less of them this morning.




Don't suppose you rent out Yogi for snake detection and destruction duties Mendo.

Originally Posted by Edmond

I can finally add a cock to this thread, but my new mistress'seses cock, not mine.

Originally Posted by baldrick

My girlfriend has a cock , and I don't care - it has a certain deja vu

Originally Posted by Mendip

I thought more along the lines of, 'Keeping chickens in Isaan'.

Try and get a smutty innuendo out of that!

The word for chickens in bahasa Indonesia is ayam. But if you say ayam ayam if means bargirls.

^ I hope they taste better in Indonesia than Ayam baked beans.


I've been home for a couple of days and have inspected my chickens.

Nelson my jungle fowl is looking very well, as was expected. He really is in the prime of life.



And here is his latest offspring, a lovely brown-coloured girl by the looks of things who hatched out around eight weeks ago, just before I left for work. I helped that bird out of her egg with a toothpick, an effort not wasted as things have turned out. Mum has also done a fine job.



Sadly the same couldn't be said for my big white cock. Yesterday it was obviously not looking its best... the cock wasn't standing erect and the crest and wattles were a pale pink colour instead of a vibrant red.

He went straight into the sick bay but sadly passed away this morning. I have no idea what was wrong but wish that these things didn't seem to wait for me to come home. It would be lovely to have a hassle and worry-free few days before having to address any problems. This is the last time a picture of my big white cock will features on this thread, he is now resting under the vegetable garden. RIP, BWC.



When I left for work back in April we had a red hen in the sick bay due to having been fighting resulting in a scratched up face. I passed on the eye-drop duties to the gardener and the eye and face healed up nicely, but I couldn't help noticing when I returned home that she had a huge abscess under her left eye and the whole left side of her face was swollen up.

I don't normally take a chicken to the vet, but as she is still young and was in obvious distress... she kept shaking her head and trying to scratch her face... I decided that she deserved a chance. Also, she's in my care, either slaughter for food or cure, but I couldn't leave her to suffer, and I'm too soft to kill a chicken these days, so to the vet it was.

And yeah, I got plenty of smirks sat at the vets with a bloody chicken.



And here you can see the size of her abscess, the left side of her face was so swollen that her left eye had almost closed. Her superficial facial wounds had healed up but a lot of poison was obviously still trapped inside.



When our time came the vet announced in front of everyone, with a big smile on his face, 'Gai Kapp...' and I received yet more smirks as I took her for examination. As suspected, she had a huge abscess and the vet took her away for lancing. I usually like to watch the animal procedures but opted out of this one.

Twenty minutes later I was called, and presented with a silver tray full of gunk... it was disgusting... but the op was a success!

And then, despite appearances, this isn't the vet choking my chicken but showing me how to squirt anti-biotic into her mouth, which needs to be done for the next few days. He had incised from inside her mouth, something I wouldn't have thought of.



Those are the same hands that re-gave Moodeng the gift of walking, and has speyed numerous of my dogs and members of the local street dog population that I have managed to catch. What a wonderful job being a vet must be.

I tried to explain that my chickens don't have set meal times, but I think it's a generic label to suit all animals!



So, 600 Baht later, which I could have used to buy two and a half new chickens, we were on our way home. I chatted to the daughter about this in the car after picking her up from school, and she said, but Dad, she was our chicken and you had to do something.

What a wonderful daughter!

And tonight, in the sick bay but happy and eating, and with a distinctly un-swollen left side of her face.

The same sick bay that my big white cock passed in, this morning.

The circle of life!

Originally Posted by Mendip

^ I hope they taste better in Indonesia than Ayam baked beans.

Which of course has a splendid cock as a logo.



See what I did there, bld?

Sorry to hear of the demise of your diseased scrawny little cock, mate.

Have you thought of acquiring a few more cocks on your next passport run to take your mind off things?

^ And this is exactly why I wish that I'd named the thread differently.

It's my fault of course, but it just seems to attract gutter innuendos.

It's not innuendo mate, it's just a bit of bantam.

Originally Posted by cyrille

Which of course has a splendid cock as a logo.



See what I did there, bld?

Leave my cock out of this splendid thread cyrille