Thread: Man banned from all British pubs

A man described in court as a "major alcoholic" has been banned from every pub in the UK for two years following an unprovoked attack in a Devon bar.

Jon McGoff, 35, drank a litre of vodka before punching Dave Gover's face and biting him, Exeter Crown Court heard.
McGoff, of no fixed address pleaded guilty to assault occasioning actual bodily harm and possessing an offensive weapon.
He was jailed for 12 months and banned from British pubs for two years.
Puncture wounds
Emily Pitts prosecuting, told the court how the landlady of the bar in Teignmouth, Lynn Tidborough, saw McGoff fiddling with his arm and thought that he might be armed with a gun.
This prompted Ms Tidborough to ask another customer to call the police.
The prosecutor said; "When McGoff interrupted the landlady of the Kings Arms as she was serving drinks, Mr Gover went over to see what the problem was."
He was then "punched in the face and knocked to the ground and McGoff took another swing at him then sunk his teeth into his arm causing five puncture wounds," the prosecutor added.
Rolling pin
The jury heard how when police arrested McGoff, who was very drunk, he was armed with a rolling pin hidden up his sleeve because two men were after him following a row over a girl friend.
Speaking for the defence, Piers Norsworthy said: "McGoff was a dramatic and major alcoholic who had behaved in a disgusting way."
Mr Norsworthy added: "At the time of this offence he was homeless and drinking a litre of vodka a day." Passing sentence the Recorder Colin Parker told McGoff: "I accept that custody might do little, if anything at all, to get you away from alcohol but you have to be punished for what you did that night."

Good job he wasn't wielding a spoon, or he'd really be in trouble.

^^sure this wasn't SHAHM?

I got barred from Old Orleans in Newcastle for falling through the floor. I was 22stone at the time and decided that it was a good idea to slide down the spiral staircase from the top. Hit the wooden floor and it just caved in with a big bang, fucking massive whole appeared like in a cartoon, broken floorboards sticking up in the air.
Got chased down the street by a couple of bouncers and the manager. I was pretending to limp to make it look like I had hurt myself, they kept asking me to come back in, fuckem.

sound s like another friday night out in beautiful down town gumpy...

Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

I got barred from Old Orleans in Newcastle for falling through the floor. I was 22stone at the time and decided that it was a good idea to slide down the spiral staircase from the top. Hit the wooden floor and it just caved in with a big bang, fucking massive whole appeared like in a cartoon, broken floorboards sticking up in the air.
Got chased down the street by a couple of bouncers and the manager. I was pretending to limp to make it look like I had hurt myself, they kept asking me to come back in, fuckem.

22 fuckn stone ! YOU FAT BASTARD! I always figured u fer a wiry skinny cvnt (prolly on account o' them drug stories, aint no druggies fat)

so R ya still OVERWEIGHT or a skinny runt now? if ya skinny do you have those really big flaps of skin hanging from your arms and legs like a parachute sail or what???


...............

actually on 2nd thoughts i dont believe ya, lieing cvnt - aint no way you were eva 22 stones, thats about 135 kilos!

Not really much loose skin, but when I sit down I still get rolls, got love handles again, gained 3kg the last couple of months but hopefully that is muscle mass. 90kg now probably a bit more body fat than I should have but it ain't going away. I was tall so I held the weight fairly well.

Liar - show us the pics!

MrsQ is a beanpole now.

any person who weighed 90kg or less, would look like a bean pole next to you!

but i still dont believe he has lost an entire GoW of body mass...

I will have to see what I can do, that would mean putting my photos on the internet which I aint into.

I had a 44-46 in waist, now I am 36-38 more 36.



I was on my way down at this point, maybe 20 stone, my old passport photo I was 22 stone


I don't look anything like this anymore.


I know where I have a photo of me. It's when I was losing weight.

^ Wow! Hair too!

Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

I was 22stone at the time

That is very close to three of me!

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

^ Wow! Hair too!

its not him!

try googling

miserable gimpy fat bastard and thats the first picture! He's just down same is all!

Originally Posted by November Rain

How can someone be banned from every pub in the UK? Do they have big WANTED posters behind the bar(s) with his photo & details on it?

Believe it or not, they do.

It isn't just one face, it is a police-made poster with about twenty-five people on it & what they are banned for, distributed to - usually - pubs in the area where the people are barred, but in theory, they could plaster his face all over the country very easily.

Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

I was 22stone at the time

Fuckin' hell I always pictured you as lean, dour, Scot. Not one of the fat bastard variety.

Originally Posted by mad_dog

Fuckin' hell I always pictured you as lean, dour, Scot. Not one of the fat bastard variety.

I am now

Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

Originally Posted by mad_dog

Fuckin' hell I always pictured you as lean, dour, Scot. Not one of the fat bastard variety.

I am now

Were you more jolly when you were fat? Your take on the world somethimes seems rather bleak.

I think it's just the fact that at that age I was living the fast life, now I am back with my feet on the ground I have realised how mundane life really is. I find normality hard sometimes, most of the time even. I fucking hate it but I am alive which I guess is a bonus.