Ajarn poster and teacher Ruaraidh killed

**Mister Fixit** · 15-02-2008, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by Smeg

Originally Posted by Mister Fixit

Originally Posted by dirtydog

As he was a teacher in Thailand i doubt he or his family were rich, a little bit of money always helps out.

That's exactly what I was thinking, and why I suggested the idea.

It is a few months down the line when people start to feel the pinch when the savings are nearing the end and there is no-one to earn the loot any more. That's when things REALLY hurt.

And then there are the unexpected expenses of a funeral, extra travelling and all the other unbudgeted-for things when someone dies suddenly.

Short-sighted to refuse, in my view.

From what I recall, he has a young child (assumption based on a photo). I would hope that anyone with a young child, especially if regularly riding a motorcycle in Thailand, had adequate life insurance to cover long-term financial parential obligations. I hope and pray for that child that he did.

Bit sanctimonious. I'm not sure if he has a child in Thailand, but he has an adult daughter who lives in Australia, who is over here now. I suspect the child in the picture you re-posted is a grand-daughter.

Originally Posted by Mister Fixit

I really do think 500 baht or a grand a person on Ajarn is not too much to ask for

From people who never knew or met him, it probably is. However, using the forum as a trade union is a nice idea.

That's essentially what it is. Or at least a place for people in a certain profession to virtually meet. It's a small place, the ex-pat world and there but for the grace of God, etc.

Which is also why I don't think 500 baht or so is a big deal. I never met him in reality, but I enjoyed his posts and upbeat attitude, so consider I 'knew' him through them.

**Mister Fixit** · 15-02-2008, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by Bexar County Stud

Originally Posted by DaveRobin

My sympathies with his family and I'm sure he was a great guy but I didn't know him nor did most people on these boards. So feel the outpouring of grief shown on ajarn is a wee ott. RIP all the same.

It is starting to look like a contest at the moment - who can out emote the next guy.

Quite, it does smack of that at times. Here as well as Ajarn.

**aging one** · 15-02-2008, 08:39 AM

He has two grown daughters they are both here now for the funeral.

**kingwilly** · 15-02-2008, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by Mister Fixit

It is starting to look like a contest at the moment - who can out emote the next guy. Quite, it does smack of that at times. Here as well as Ajarn.

quite.

and i agree with Smeg, ya gotta get life insurance to cover loved ones.

**reinvented** · 15-02-2008, 09:48 AM

it is a real tradgedy, ive known a few go that way over here
and i know people deal with grief in different ways, i really struggle with fuenerals

but apart from his close friends, and i know a lot of people on ajarn were close to him, it is a wee bit OTT

ajarn doesent have enough cynical bastards CMN, thats why we come here, get away from the inane treehuggers and the shite they sprout

i'll miss his upbeat hijinks posts, and genuinely feel for his family, but methinks some of these peeps have too much time on their hands

heart felt RIP Rury, prayer been said, now life goes on

**obsidian** · 15-02-2008, 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by reinvented

ajarn doesent have enough cynical bastards CMN, thats why we come here

some truth in this, imo

Originally Posted by reinvented

now life goes on

yes it does.

**Smeg** · 15-02-2008, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by Mister Fixit

Originally Posted by Smeg

From what I recall, he has a young child (assumption based on a photo). I would hope that anyone with a young child, especially if regularly riding a motorcycle in Thailand, had adequate life insurance to cover long-term financial parential obligations. I hope and pray for that child that he did.

Bit sanctimonious. I'm not sure if he has a child in Thailand, but he has an adult daughter who lives in Australia, who is over here now. I suspect the child in the picture you re-posted is a grand-daughter.

Why is it sanctimonious? I'd say that it is a general and commonly held opinion. And I'd say that you are the one beng sanctimonious, starting threads asking every forum member to hand over money. If you want to hand some over yourself, do so, and allow others the right to make the same decision using their own intelligence without insulting them by presuming that they need to be asked to.

Originally Posted by Mister Fixit

From people who never knew or met him, it probably is. However, using the forum as a trade union is a nice idea.

That's essentially what it is. Or at least a place for people in a certain profession to virtually meet. It's a small place, the ex-pat world and there but for the grace of God, etc.

Which is also why I don't think 500 baht or so is a big deal. I never met him in reality, but I enjoyed his posts and upbeat attitude, so consider I 'knew' him through them.

Ajarnforum is an internet forum where anyone on the planet can discuss teaching in Thailand or anything else, and which a few people who don't meet enough friends through other means use to make new friends, both teachers and otherwise.

A trade union is a fee-charging "insurance policy" open to workers in particular trades only of which the main purpose is to provide collective bargaining and welfare benefits.

I see very little similarity between the two. If you do, perhaps you are desperately wishing their was an ajarn trade union so imagining the forum to be it, who knows...

**ChalkyDee** · 15-02-2008, 10:50 PM

Motorcycles are very dangerous, especially for drinkers.Tragic. My sincere condolences.

**Mister Fixit** · 16-02-2008, 12:13 AM

Originally Posted by aging one

He has two grown daughters they are both here now for the funeral.

Yes. I met them both tonight. Nice girls. And I also mentioned the thing about bright clothes. They want to wear them because they think he was that sort of guy, and I think I agree with them. It's a family funeral, not a Thai funeral. Let them wear what they think Rury would want them to wear. If that is a bright orange tie-dye T shirt, fine. If they want to play Pink Floyd's 'Wish you were here' (fine and apt choice) then fine.

This is a Farang funeral, not a Thai funeral.

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2008, 12:25 AM

We are all going to die one day, some will be missed, as rury is, he done some great travel threads, just a shame he posted them in ajarn, only kidding before you all get on my back, and some wont be missed, I am so against riding motorbikes in Thailand due to the danger but probably everyday i ride it

**NickA** · 16-02-2008, 07:42 AM

^motorbikes are pretty dangerous anywhere, not just Thailand.

**obsidian** · 16-02-2008, 08:29 AM

thats what makes them fun.

**Bexar County Stud** · 16-02-2008, 11:39 AM

He did mention in one of his posts about getting caught riding without a helmet by the police. I don't know if this was a factor in his death, I hope not.

A tragic reminder to take care out there on the roads, and more importantly, the only time to make tributes and show respect to someone is when they're alive. It's nice that people can be moved over the passing of people they've never met, but gosh it's a bit like the Princess Di syndrome with all this wreath buying (making sure the donor's name is displayed front and center, love that) and convulsions of grief.

Perhaps I'm too much of an iconoclast. Just thinking of my Dad's funeral, I was not comforted at all by all the hangers on - strangers and folks who hadn't shown themselves in years, but suddenly appear to offer their most earnest heart-felt condolences. Phony baloney.

**Torbek** · 16-02-2008, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by Bexar County Stud

A tragic reminder to take care out there on the roads, and more importantly, the only time to make tributes and show respect to someone is when they're alive.

Really? There goes the statue industry globally...

Originally Posted by Bexar County Stud

It's nice that people can be moved over the passing of people they've never met, but gosh it's a bit like the Princess Di syndrome with all this wreath buying (making sure the donor's name is displayed front and center, love that) and convulsions of grief.

I'm as cynical the next prick...but in this instance, the overwhelming number of posts are actually from people who had physically met him. A bit of a rarity on ajarn.com...and I imagine most online forums.

Besides...what does it matter? His family seem comforted by the outpouring. Why should it bother you?

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2008, 09:59 PM

So has the guy that killed him been arrested?

Or do the thai police just consider it as some dumb farang dead

**Smeg** · 16-02-2008, 10:51 PM

^ I didn't know there were any details on what happened or who caused it.

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2008, 10:53 PM

i thought he was run over on his bike and the driver fled the scene, taking a real wild guess i would assume the killer was a Thai as they fled the scene.

**Bexar County Stud** · 16-02-2008, 11:37 PM

Originally Posted by Torbek

Really?

Uh, yes really.

Originally Posted by Torbek

I'm as cynical the next prick...but in this instance, the overwhelming number of posts are actually from people who had physically met him.

That's not what I saw on the thread, although a lot of people did meet him and he did seem like a cool dude.

Originally Posted by Torbek

Why should it bother you?

I'm not bothered at all, just making a personal observation and comparison with my own experiences with loss. I think such individual reactions are OK, do you? I think there's enough groupthink to go around on the other channel, and they've already got a handful of solemn tribute threads going strong.
I'm happy that the family is comforted by the outpouring. I don't see my comments as disrespectful of their feelings, but it seems you took it that way.

**obsidian** · 16-02-2008, 11:48 PM

not big on the human tendency to herd up and turn everything into religion myself, bcs. your opinion is appreciated. thanks for taking the risk of honesty.

**Torbek** · 17-02-2008, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by Bexar County Stud

Originally Posted by Torbek

Really?

Uh, yes really.

Originally Posted by Torbek

I'm as cynical the next prick...but in this instance, the overwhelming number of posts are actually from people who had physically met him.

That's not what I saw on the thread, although a lot of people did meet him and he did seem like a cool dude.

Originally Posted by Torbek

Why should it bother you?

I'm not bothered at all, just making a personal observation and comparison with my own experiences with loss. I think such individual reactions are OK, do you? I think there's enough groupthink to go around on the other channel, and they've already got a handful of solemn tribute threads going strong.
I'm happy that the family is comforted by the outpouring. I don't see my comments as disrespectful of their feelings, but it seems you took it that way.

I'm not disagreeing with some of the sentiments expressed here. As I said...I'm as cynical as the next prick.

I suppose I just figure it's not necessary...at the moment at least...to voice such sentiments.

The 'risk of honesty' doesn't alway carry a great measure of nobility. Especially when cloaked in cynicism.

Is there group think going on? Probably. Are some reactions a little over the top? Possibly.

But leave them to it...especially on the day of his cremation.

That's all I was trying to say...

**obsidian** · 17-02-2008, 08:20 AM

diversity of opinion and belief is a wonderful thing.

comments appreciated, tbec.

**Torbek** · 17-02-2008, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by obsidian

diversity of opinion and belief is a wonderful thing.

I agree entirely.

But also time and place.

The better man is able to recognise that and be big enough to to let the voicing of his (contrary) opinion slide for while in favour of others. Even if he is bloody sure he is right!

(Something I, unfortunately, do not seem to be able to do most of the time!

)

**obsidian** · 17-02-2008, 09:25 AM

perhaps.

what is the proper period of mourning (?) in this circumstance, in your view, t?

**Smeg** · 17-02-2008, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

i thought he was run over on his bike and the driver fled the scene, taking a real wild guess i would assume the killer was a Thai as they fled the scene.

On ajarn this was denied and it was merely described as a "tragic accident" by someone close to him. So I presume that if nobody else was at fault, then he caused it himself. Although accidents are not intentional, they are always the result of at least person doing something risky. He might have fallen off and been run over. I saw exactly that yesterday in Bangkok. nobodys fault but the guy who decided to lie his bike down in front of fast traffic.

**kingwilly** · 17-02-2008, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Bexar County Stud

He did mention in one of his posts about getting caught riding without a helmet by the police. I don't know if this was a factor in his death, I hope not.

a mate of mine's g/f was knocked off her bike and spilt her helmet 2 days ago, thank god she had a helmet on.

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