By this time I had been in Koh Pha Ngan, home of the full-moon party, for five months. I think I had either just started or was just about to start working in a notable bar. Obviously this was completely illegal, but I didn't know shit back then. I was green.
Somehow I managed to end up hanging around with THE biggest bunch of hippy, soppy, drug-addled pricks I have ever had the misfortune to meet. The main reason for thsi is what I wanted to fuck the 'Queen of the Hippies' She was some German chick who had been in India for 5 years and was a Reiki 'master'. Her hobbies included fire-stick twirling, yoga (of the tantric variety), raising awareness and being sappy.
But I am always a sucker for a nice arse. We hadn't fucked by this point I don't think, but that was to change. When I look back now on such a twat I was it makes me cringe. I blame it on the copius amounts of drugs I took back then. She came to me and in her German/English tilt, told me that some Swiss chemist type geek had managed to get hold of some Mescalin. I had heard of this shit, but never taken it. Why not eh? What the fuck else would I be doing? Drinking? Smoking? Drinking some more?
As they were complete hippies fucks, we all fasted for 24 hours before the drug came out. Then we all sat around in a circle for while and they proceeded to ommmmmmm and all that shit. Give thanks to the universe. Hahahah. Just thinking about it makes me laugh.
So there was me, her, Mikey (one crazy, Keith Richards type, Ganja growing hippy from New Zealand) and a couple of other hippy types who I don't remember. Eventually out came the drug. It was in liquid form and Mikey just put a few drops on my hand (the inside of my thumb) and told me to lick it off. I did as I was told.
I would say that the next 18hours are all a bit of a blur, but suffice it to say I was completely, utterly, unbelievably fucked. This Mescalin was powerful, epic shit. It was like 100 pills mixed with 100 magic mushrooms. I saw myself in the future, in the past, I fucking saw everything. I was a pilot in WWII, I was an old man about to get knighted by the King. The others I don't remember what they were doing. But I do know that I was the only onw too scared to leave the hut. They were all probably out talking to rocks and listening to dogs!
I don't know how or why, but I ended up fucking the Nazi Queen of the Hippies. What a weird experience people! Her face shimmered like something from a Hunter S Thompson book. One second she was a 5 year old girl, the next she was an old woman. As she straddled me, I got freaked the fuck out. Crazy, crazy shit.
The drug stayed in my system for days afterwards. I ended up moving in with the Nazi Queen of the Hippies. She used to wake up at 6:30am to do Yoga. I only got home from work and partying at 5 or so. Obviously I eventually just got my bag and got the hell out of dodge. About a week later, she had another guy my own age living with her. She was some kind of predator, getting young boys into her bed.