Funny Thai Laws

**withnallstoke** · 04-11-2009, 07:09 AM

Compulsory law to drive a motorcycle at night on country lanes with no headlights on, no crash helmet on, drunk, whilst carrying at least 3 generations of the same family (at least one member must be under the age of 1 year) and a large palm tree with a plastic bag tied to one end.

**Davis Knowlton** · 04-11-2009, 08:18 AM

I got divorced in a Thai court in 1990. I sued. Divorce was granted on the grounds that she had, after nine years of marriage, 'failed to produce a male heir'. When I went to see the divorce lawyer, he presented me with a shopping list of 'causes'. I initially chose 'spouse is insane, with no hope of recovery', but she wouldn't go for that one. Finally settled on the 'male heir' cause. Before anyone has to ask, the wife was also a foreigner. Marriage was a civil ceremony in Bangladesh (and witnessed by a rep from the Embassy). Divorce was in Bangkok, and also signed off on by the Embassy. Had no impact on the divorce settlement, nor on my eventual marriage to my current lovely wife.

What a great law! Even better

, I snuck in the divorce at 9 years 9 months of marriage. If she had ever bothered to read the small print on the government documents she signed when we got married, if she had delayed for 3 more months and hit the ten-year mark, she would,to this day and forevermore, be getting half of my government pension.

**Mr Brown** · 04-11-2009, 08:20 AM

Sex toys being illegal is one that baffles me

**the dogcatcher** · 04-11-2009, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by Sdigit

Dose any one know if there is any truth to this one,
"A husband may kill his wife if he finds her in the matrimonial bed with another man provided the act is spontaneous and immediate"
Anyone know,, I've heard it a few times but it sounds bollix to me.

Apparently the same in France.

**Marmite the Dog** · 04-11-2009, 08:25 AM

Vehicles turning on to the road from the left have right of way, unless there is a Stop sign.

**the dogcatcher** · 04-11-2009, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by Mr Brown

Sex toys being illegal is one that baffles me

Pattaya is full of sex toys. Most are called Lek or Noi.

**the dogcatcher** · 04-11-2009, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Vehicles turning on to the road from the left have right of way, unless there is a Stop sign.

Don't think I'd stand on with a lorry though.

**the dogcatcher** · 04-11-2009, 08:43 AM

Not a law but flashing your lights to say "I'm coming through". Reverse to Britain and at first when driving here can be dangerous.

**Bangyai** · 04-11-2009, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Compulsory law to drive a motorcycle at night on country lanes with no headlights on, no crash helmet on, drunk, whilst carrying at least 3 generations of the same family (at least one member must be under the age of 1 year) and a large palm tree with a plastic bag tied to one end.

You forgot to mention that on these unlit roads it is also compulsory to wear nothing but black or at least very dark attire and to always proceed in a wobbley line with your back to the traffic.

**the dogcatcher** · 04-11-2009, 02:29 PM

Hitting pot holes is also illegal, swerving wildly to avoid them is encouraged by road safety gurus here.

**Fabian** · 04-11-2009, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Vehicles turning on to the road from the left have right of way, unless there is a Stop sign.

How is that a strange law? Only because it is from the worng side but that may be the reason because they drive on the wrong side which may be a funny law.

**Smug Farang Bore** · 05-11-2009, 12:18 AM

Farangred, about 2 or 3yrs.

....and their off shutting bars around 12/1am again in BKK, high season on the way. Happy days!!

**Marmite the Dog** · 05-11-2009, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Not a law but flashing your lights to say "I'm coming through".

It is law.

Originally Posted by Fabian

How is that a strange law?

Because every other country in the world makes the vehicle turning onto the road give way.

**Missismiggins** · 05-11-2009, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by Mr Brown

Sex toys being illegal is one that baffles me

Why on earth does this baffle you?

Imagine thai women allowed to buy 10" vibrating cocks...can you imagine the "Kreng Jai" / Face that their 3" baby dick peddling Mia noi / paedophile husbands would lose.....

You can just see it, after watching a "good" thai movie before bed, and the wife gets horny, the thai pulls out his 2" stump,.....NAH don't bother, keep your fucking temples, keep your fucking trees, (I won't even attempt to climb them when I have a period, because as you say my love, I am DISGUSTING - go take your two inch cock and you and it can enjoy yourselves together (singing Karaoke, slagging women off, strutting like headless chickens, running away from your pregnant wives, like a real dude!.. Me, I'll settle for my 10" vibrating Big Boy"...imagine the loss of face...I bet blow up dolls aren't banned, or blow job bars la la la la la...it's only banned when it feminises a HERO THAI MAN with all his bus driver medals, and his inability to communicate!

Fuck, I'd take a Katoey anyday, at least they have a bit of a balanced attitude, imagine being married to a Thai "STUD" no wonder so many girsl fuck off to work the bars!

Now there is a business opportunity, a blow up doll bar, for the thai middle classes!
No infidelit, no hang ups, just a rubber doll that doesn't menstruate or talk back..perfect! And if they really got lonely, I guess they could strap it into the passenger seat as a trophy!

**Missismiggins** · 05-11-2009, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Not a law but flashing your lights to say "I'm coming through".

It is law.

Originally Posted by Fabian

How is that a strange law?

Because every other country in the world makes the vehicle turning onto the road give way.

Pardon me for butting in, but if you take you driving test in the UK, flashing your headlights, despite what the UK drivers do, or accept as the "NORM" means exactly the same as blasting your horn, it does not mean "you can go, I'm letting you go first"

In the eyes of the law, it is the same warning as tooting the horn!

**Fabian** · 05-11-2009, 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by Fabian

How is that a strange law?

Because every other country in the world makes the vehicle turning onto the road give way.

You would be in for a big surprise if you drove in Germany.
If there is no other sign, the car coming from the right has right of way.

**Missismiggins** · 05-11-2009, 09:58 PM

You need to enforce the law yourself.

when you get the green light at the junction, to make a right turn, and the Thais oppositte, keep trying to sneak a left turn you must pursue, don't give up, they will stop first, when they realise that you seriously will whack their car, they tend to look at you in a surprised sort of face, almost childlike, once they know they cannot get through without damage, and then, yes, that lovely Kreng Jai Thai smile...the one you know means they are at boiling point inside, but, shucks, they try their damndest not to show it...oh the fun of driving in retard land!

Have you also noticed how they have immense difficulty in thinking ahead...

You are on a two lane (dual carriageway, ) the retard is in the left lane (for a fucking change!) (as where I am, I usually find the retard in the outside lane doing about 40, with a queue of another 50 retards behind it flashing their lights, then as the following retards decide to pass on the inside, the fuckwit indicates left and pulls over... after about 30KM!) and doing about 40, in front, there is a lesser retard doing 30. (The funny thing is..for some reason once they realise, i.e. look in the fucking mirror, that they have a car up their arse, what do they do? pull over to the left?..well sometimes, but invariably they put their foot down, usually resulting in no acceleration, only a cloud of black smoke - and it is quite funny seeing a 30 year old Mazda piece of SHIT tryinf to outrun a 3.0 litre Vigo, but they do try!

The retard doing 50, never thinks to look in its mirror or plan a manouevre, until it gets within three feet of the retard in front, then on come the brakes, and the retard is reduced to the same speed as it's preceeding retarded bretheren.

The best thing, is to approach the lagging second retard, then slow a little, and just at the point when the retard realises it is going to hit the retard in front, that is travelling at a walking pace, just pull alongside enought to force the retard to slam on the brakes at the last minute, and not allowing him/it any way out.

And NEVER EVER allow eye communication, or then the retard will know you fucked it!
Just look straight ahead, don't laugh, keep a straight face, and look in your rear view mirror, as you then notice that the retard is stuck behind the 30KMH retard in front, and cannot get out of its predicament, due to the "slightly" (and we are talking hours here, not microseconds) faster brains of his compatriots behind!

We could now go on to the other "impatient " retards, the ones that try to come down the inside left lane to try and pass you while you are tailgaiting another retard in front.

Isn't it so satisfying, when the retard that tries to go down the left has misjudged it, as so often happens, and you just accelerate that incy wincy bit to block the stupid fucker...and you get the great satisfaction of seeing the retards front end "DIP" as he whacks on the brakes when he realizes, he can't get through the gap... a gap that a fucking 5 year old could have told him was a no go! (10 minutes before!)

**the dogcatcher** · 05-11-2009, 10:15 PM

Yeah, that's how I drive. Relieves the bordom.

**Missismiggins** · 05-11-2009, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Yeah, that's how I drive. Relieves the bordom.

Where on earth do you drive?
There is no boredom here.. I cannot relax for the constant flow of mongolids on motorbikes that just pull out on you, I think installing swirling blades on the wheels, a bit like the gladiators could reduce the problem! or a spear gun or shotgun, just to get the fuckers before you hit them and end up with the blame!

You really need a 24 hour pass from the local pigs, an armoured Humvee, and just get out their and cull what should not be allowed to drive! basically, clean the slate. Like an Ethnic cleansing, of those not worthy to be allowed upon the roads!

**Marmite the Dog** · 05-11-2009, 11:27 PM

Originally Posted by Fabian

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by Fabian

How is that a strange law?

Because every other country in the world makes the vehicle turning onto the road give way.

You would be in for a big surprise if you drove in Germany.
If there is no other sign, the car coming from the right has right of way.

So, you're saying that a car pulling out from a junction has right of way over a car travelling down the road towards it? I don't think so.

**DrAndy** · 06-11-2009, 12:09 AM