Thread: Stick to Bombing: Jokes from a Muslim

Jokes from the Muslim stand-up comic, Goffaq Yussef:

Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies!

What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
Nothing! You told her twice already!

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light
bulb? None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the
Jews for it!

Did you hear about the Broadway play, The
Palestinians? It bombed!

What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi
Arabia? Lefty!

Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features
full facial nudity!

Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the
West Bank?
Because it's just a stone's throw away from Israel!

Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys?
Because every Palestinian boy gets to join a rock
group!

A Palestinian suspect was being drilled by US Security
Forces in Iraq. "Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he
said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I
could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was: 'I'm
dying to get laid


What does the sign say above the nursery in a
Palestinian maternity ward? "Live ammunition."

What does a Palestinian girl say to her mom?
After Abdul blows himself up, may I have his room?

Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon

Goffaq Yussef

Indeed.

Mrs Mohammed bumps into Mrs Mohammed and it's been years since they met

After a short chat Mrs M says to Mrs M "Hows that lovely son of yours Abdul....he always had that nice curly hair and a cheeky smile....."

"Gone" comes the reply "Blew himself up on a bus in Tel Aviv"

"Oh" says Mrs M "and how about Mustafa, he was a lovely boy, always chatty and smiley"

"Gone" comes the reply "Blew himself up on a plane in Haifa"

"Oh" says Mrs M starting to feel a bit uncomfortable "Little Yousuf, now he was a good boy, so bright at school"

"Gone" comes the reply "Blew himself up on a bus in the West Bank"

"Oh Gosh" sighs Mrs M "They do blow up so quickly these days........."

BOOM BOOM !!!

Two women in the traditional hijab are walking down the street. One says to the other "Does my bomb look big in this?......."