Thread: Fuck the South

Found this on the web. Not sure it should be in here or in US issues. But thought here might be the best place:


Fuck the South

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves -- yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.



F**k the South - Funny Email Forward

Ahh. The infighting of a new country. Times change. The world goes round, and before too long Johnny Southerner is printing his own banknotes and proclaiming lordship. Live it, love it.

Sounds like a seppo missmiggins. No offense missi.

I'm a northerner who lived in deepest, darkest south (Louisiana) for a few years. Never witnessed this attitude. It's folklore, like Paul Bunyan. Good storytelling, but little or no truth to it.

Sounds like "The Kid From Brooklyn"

The Kid From Brooklyn - Videos

Sounds like you stoooopid yanks should go to Fair old England and have a look around at history. OOO look at this piece of paper.
England has a great and true history of southerners doing a runner when times got 'ard. Left it to the true English to stand up and fight for ourselves. Jocks to the north, Welsh to the west, and the fuckin faggott froggies to the south. Mercia.True.

Little or no truth to it.

It's a comedy piece.

I've lived in the east NJ, the Midwest, Indiana, Ohio, the south Texas, Louisiana, the West California.

This kind of angst just doesn't exist.

Originally Posted by Texpat

Little or no truth to it.

In what?

The suggestion that Northern Americans hate or regard Southern Americans as inferior.

Are southern Merkins not the same as French? France is next door to Spain. What lingo is the spoken one in the south of America? And bits of Canada?

I believe some in Louisiana speak a bayou French. The rest speak English.

I do find the OP humorous. However, it does conveniently leave out contributions to the founding of the US by notable southerners, of whom there were a few.

Originally Posted by Texpat

But it's funny. There is a recognition of difference, of dialect, but no feeling of superiority or hatred as exists in Europe. It's the EU's big undoing, they can't get along.

all urban Americans feel superior to mid westerners and rednecks, there is hatred towards ethnic minorities, racism is a very big problem, and above all those things you have a very big percentage of yanks that feel superior than other nations that they know nothing about, blind patriotism is very much at the forefront of the american mindset, You say Europe can get along, Europe has been around for a much longer time and has a lot more history, comparing the USA's history to any other countries doesen't give a very accurate overview

Originally Posted by flash

all urban Americans feel superior to mid westerners

Blatantly untrue. I was born in the Midwest and grew up up in NJ. Your perception is simply untrue. You're another blind ignoramus spouting shit of which you know not.

There is hatred towards ethnic minorities, racism is a very big problem

America, 75 percent white, chose a black man as president nine months ago. Your silly assertion rings ridiculously hollow. You couln't be a bigger asshat if you tried.

blah blah blah Europe can get along, Europe has been around for a much longer time spew hurl lurch, blahg blah blah

The EU is dysfunctional. Look at the Lisbon protocol. Look at at the silly bitchfights about.

No mandate.
No separation of powers
It's bad governance to allow a legislative process to span long periods of time
No transparency
Treaty bungles

Yes, quite dysfunctional.

Originally Posted by Texpat

Blatantly untrue. I was born in the Midwest and grew up up in NJ. Your perception is simply untrue. You're another blind ignoramus spouting shit of which you know not.

I lived in the US for 10 years, while you might not have thought the people of NJ were looking down on you, they were, maybe you were just too much of a redneck to realize.

Originally Posted by Texpat

America, 75 percent white, chose a black man as president nine months ago. Your silly assertion rings ridiculously hollow. You couln't be a bigger asshat if you tried.

chose a blackman over a geriatric and a half wit woman, not many options there buddy, are you really trying to tell me there is no problem with racism in the US? gimme a break!

And what have you done to the native americans Tex?

classic line, i'm not a racist i have a black friend.

We laughed at folks who from New Joisey when I lived in NYC.

the bridge and tunnel crowd were always a source of amusment

Originally Posted by flash

I lived in the US for 10 years, while you might not have thought the people of NJ were looking down on you, they were, maybe you were just too much of a redneck to realize.

I think it is rather like what people on this board say about Thailand (and other places) from time to time: it depends on the people with whom you spend your time.

To be honest, I think there is a bit of provincialism in the States, from time to time. While it used to be north/south, it seems now to be more red state/blue state. That can get spun any number of ways (coasts/heartland or midwest, etc.) but I don't think anybody really takes it all that seriously.

Originally Posted by flash

classic line, i'm not a racist i have a black friend.

What are you on about, it is the minorities that are the racists, especially the Blacks that are the most racist..
You poor silly Mick fucker.