I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything
tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'No!' By now I was starting to smile.

' Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children,
and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, they all answered 'No!'. I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?'

A six year-old boy shouted out 'YUV GOTTAE BE FCUKN' DEAD..........'