My GF wants to watch me choke the bishop

**redfoot the fence** · 22-04-2009, 07:32 PM

listen to your girlfriend. let her lead you by the cock to a bit of envelope pushing, ^ communication and mutual exploration/parallel play.

or, make polls on td an treat pleasuring ones self as a guilty grammar schooler might.

up to you, loopy.

**Spin** · 22-04-2009, 07:34 PM

Agree, but only on condition that she flies her kite whilst you whack off and watch.

**Thetyim** · 22-04-2009, 07:38 PM

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Did the goldfish assist in the erection in any way?

Close your eyes
Hold the goldfish under your nose with one hand
Wank with your other hand

**withnallstoke** · 22-04-2009, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Close your eyes Hold the goldfish under your nose with one hand Wank with your other hand

The life expectancy of a one handed purveyor of the art of masturbation far exceeds that of the goldfish. Should one squeeze a tad to hard on the vinegar stroke, said goldfish may take a throttling. Probably best to pop the little golden chap up the nostril, and have at oneself with both hands.

**Loy Toy** · 22-04-2009, 08:05 PM

First your bladder problem now this, is the little lady worried about you prostrate?

Agree to do it if she massages your prostrate, finger up the bum and all.

Actually a bit kinky your little one. Nothing wrong with that for sure.

**mrsquirrel** · 22-04-2009, 08:28 PM

Could lead to things like this video - which I think is amazing

amatuer anal - Amateur sex video - Tube8.com

**Mr Brown** · 22-04-2009, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by Spin

Agree, but only on condition that she flies her kite whilst you whack off and watch.

She has a cock too!!!

I'm confused now, surely she should be going fishing

**Moonraker** · 22-04-2009, 08:48 PM

She asks that question and you need to think about it? Are you that much of a prude?

Really go for it, if you are that shy then your GF and you need to do some exploring. No doubt there is lot more fun in the sack to be had that you two just don't know about yet.

**Moonraker** · 22-04-2009, 08:51 PM

And why did two people vote no? Whoever they where must be loads of fun in bed!

**Thetyim** · 22-04-2009, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Probably best to pop the little golden chap up the nostril, and have at oneself with both hands.

I take my hat off to you, Withnails.
You are a true expert in the art of onarism

**Looper** · 22-04-2009, 09:32 PM

^^^^^A very creative young lady. She is even managing the camera by herself using her foot. Nice to see a self-motivated young woman with a bit of imagination and resourcefulness. Like the pornographic equivalent of the 'Why Don't You' children's television program of the 1970's. I wonder where she got those shoes?

**blackgang** · 22-04-2009, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by Looper

I wonder where she got those shoes?

And thats All?? jumping Jesus Christ on a crutch,,

**Happyman** · 22-04-2009, 09:56 PM

deleted - duplicate post

**Happyman** · 22-04-2009, 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by lom

You obviously hasn't watched Blackadder. A sick guy that Baldrick.

I love with a fekin turnip in one episode !

**melvbot** · 22-04-2009, 11:21 PM

If your Mrs wants to watch you crack one out will one of your dark secrets be exposed?

Maybe he can only choke the chicken to midget anal fisting or chicken noodle soup enemas.

**barbaro** · 22-04-2009, 11:27 PM

Originally Posted by Bobcock

I give up...yer all thick

That's why I just checked this thead after not opening it so long.

You're wife wants to watch whack your potato?

I don't really care, but thanks for sharing.

Post pics of your little knob, even though I prefer boobies and Camel toes.

**Looper** · 22-04-2009, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by November Rain

I remember asking ex-hubby exactly the same thing when we were first together.

Thanks for the female perspective NR. So did he pony up and splatter the batter as 95% of the voters here claim any well adjusted red-blooded male would do? and was there any quid pro quo involved as some suggestions are recommending I investigate the possiblity?

Originally Posted by melvbot

If your Mrs wants to watch you crack one out will one of your dark secrets be exposed?

I am mainly worried that she might burst out laughing while I am at the peak of my exertion and I would feel a bit deflated and then she would make fun of me by doing impressions for her friends.

Did you manage to keep a straight face NR?

Originally Posted by Happyman

Originally Posted by lom

You obviously hasn't watched Blackadder. A sick guy that Baldrick.

I love with a fekin turnip in one episode !

Just finished watching series 1, where Baldrick was actually a more cunning character. Still very funny although the canned laughter is a bit of a shame. I wonder if it will be possible to remaster the audio on these classic comdey series to remove the cheesy laughter.

Brian Blessed is great as Richard IV!

'Chiswick, Fresh Horses!!'

**melvbot** · 22-04-2009, 11:37 PM

Originally Posted by Milkman

You're wife wants to watch whack your potato?

Never heard it called that before

Originally Posted by Milkman

Post pics of your little knob,

milkmans gay

**barbaro** · 22-04-2009, 11:39 PM

^ I am not, sir.

Only pussy and tits for me.

Queers, step aside. No offense to anyone, tho'

**melvbot** · 22-04-2009, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by Milkman

^ I am not, sir.

Only pussy and tits for me.

Queers, step aside. No offense to anyone, tho'

I would class encouraging a male poster to post a picture of his penis as

GAY

**barbaro** · 22-04-2009, 11:45 PM

^ Fookin BULLSHIT, dude.

don't start a war with me now you bald goat-tee shitty wannabe rocker.

**melvbot** · 22-04-2009, 11:49 PM

Originally Posted by Milkman

^ Fookin BULLSHIT, dude.

don't start a war with me now you bald goat-tee shitty wannabe rocker.

Not me in the pic but I double dare ya to say it to his face gayboy.

Kerry King of Slayer

**barbaro** · 22-04-2009, 11:50 PM

^ You bald-headed tatted wannabe, I told ya I only like Poooooon-tang.

Will you f*ck off you c*cksack licker.

**mad_dog** · 22-04-2009, 11:57 PM

I'm occasionally told I am a bit of a prude but if my girlfriend said it once or twice to me while chatting and then said it again during sex I'd stop and gimp off ... Why not? If a girl I'd just started seeing asked me in the cold light of day with no passion or booze in me to walk home and beat me meat... I'd think she was slag and probably stop calling.

It all depends on circumstance

**November Rain** · 23-04-2009, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by Looper

Thanks for the female perspective NR. So did he pony up and splatter the batter as 95% of the voters here claim any well adjusted red-blooded male would do?

Yes but initially he was quite embarrassed by the idea.

Originally Posted by Looper

was there any quid pro quo involved as some suggestions are recommending I investigate the possiblity?

eeerrrrm (yes)

Originally Posted by Looper

I am mainly worried that she might burst out laughing while I am at the peak of my exertion and I would feel a bit deflated and then she would make fun of me by doing impressions for her friends. Did you manage to keep a straight face NR?

She won't laugh or tell her friends. Yes, I did keep a straight face. To be honest, I was quite surprised at how 'businesslike' it was. I suppose, in hindsight I shouldn't have been, I mean there is one goal in mind, right? I guess I expected it to be more sensual and more technique involved that I could learn from, but I guess taking away the speed etc would defeat the object...

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