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  1. #1
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    When the locals are morons, a few examples, add yours too.

    Yesterday I read about a TEFL-er who dived to his tragic death from his balcony at his 'apartment' just outside Bangkok. He was intoxicated and depressed according to friends. Sad and quite common though. As one person said, this has gotta be the world's capital for this kind of death. In most cases it is because some foolish idiot can't believe that his bargirl "darling" would have the 'heart' to rip him off or cheat him in some way. But as the top 10 goes, the farang boyfriend is even lower than the buffalo.

    Anyway, this got me thinking, about Thailand being called "The Land Of Smiles" and I honestly think that many take this phrase literally and confuse it with real actual life. Yes, the real world.
    Like when the backpacker sees the polluted canals strewn with rubbish and can't believe that these smiling kind folks who cook them pad thai are capable of such environmental damage.

    I mean, do they expect the locals to be permanently smiling for fucks sake?

    Believe it or not I've met guys who think that this should and can be the case, and after a few weeks of living, Tefl-ing and being amongst locals in their real lives and day-to-day activities, and living in one of those concrete boxes for 4000-5000 Baht a month in say, Saphan Khwai, Nakhon nowhere, Bang Kanshithole or Pinklao, start to lose it completely.

    My belief is that living life this way was never meant to be like this, seriously, what do these guys see down the line in their future?

    Some may have savings, yes, ok, fine, several thousand pounds or dollars in an overseas bank, but I've met farang guys who are here and expect their life to be almost identical to that of when they were a tourist who lived in the real world and went back to the real world. People being nice to them, smiling, eating at expensive restaurants, tipping staff who smile a lot and don't act blatantly like they despise you, I could go on, and I will, because the locals can be morons, and here are my examples why.

    Also, before I start, I want to mention that being a luuk-kreung is no walk in the park at times. Thais make immediete assumptions and most of them are quite rude ones at that, no prizes for guessing what they are.

    Anyway let's move onto the subject of this thread that I'm sure yu'll be able to identify with, and that's when the locals act like they are primitive, ignorant pricks:

    Invading my personal space: Mainly but not always, I have found that it's the lower classes that behave in this way, acting like they are the sole race of people that exist on earth, (most are 'educated' this way sadly) and when I am walking along the road and some twit with his bicycle barges straight into me or the guy on the bus next to me doesn't move his leg so I can sit comfortably, I am now conversant enough in Thai to tell him to either "fuck off" or "move themselves", while shaking my head so they are aware of my derision for them.

    "I own a Mercedes Benz so I am the most superior person on the road or on earth": These kind of people are the same kind that also need you to see them talking into a mobile phone, just so that you can see that they have one, and if you are a farang, then even better. I despise these people and their driving habits.

    You're a farang so you are only interested in purchasing the most expensive television in the store: Ignorant sales staff at the Big C think that your eyes are blinkered to only notice the most pricey set they have for sale and when you ask or enquire about an alternative model that's cheaper they usually tell you it's "no good" and then when I ask further questions in fluent Thai, it puts them off even more.

    The movie is Thai so why would you want to watch it?: I had a couple of hours to kill the other night so went to watch a film at Central World Plaza. As I'd already seen "The Mist" the only other option that interested me was a Thai film called "Soul's Code". It wasn't bad, though neither would it sweep the oscars.
    Anyway this isn't the first time I've bought tickets to watch a Thai film, and the ignorant member of staff told me while acting confusingly, screwing up her face, that it was "movie Thai" four times before she'd sell me a ticket for it. I assured her I knew, and again she screwed up her face as if I'd asked her to KY her arsehole for me (I would have given the chance, mind you).

    Playing a computer game for 6 hours at the age of 30 when you could be, or should be, doing better things: This one gets me, as I used to live close to a large internet cafe, and use it quite often when I had to store all my stuff in Pattaya back in January. On many occasions the place would be almost full of fully grown 'boys' playing the game which has the loud sound of gunfire, constantly for sometimes hours on end.

    On some occasions they would even be sitting there with their car keys and phone next to them. Car keys? If I owned a car Isure wouldn't be sitting in some crummy net cafe playing a game. Is this one reason why Thai females prefer farangs on some occasions? Possibly.

    Anyway, over to some of you. What makes the locals morons in your eyes? Be honest please and Smeg, you don't need to ask if I'm sick of this country or about to throw myself seven storeys down cos I wouldn't dream of it.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    DJ, I love your post Will add a 'stupid & sad Thai death' in a few days...

  3. #3
    I am in Jail
    Smeg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Anyway, over to some of you. What makes the locals morons in your eyes? Be honest please and Smeg, you don't need to ask if I'm sick of this country or about to throw myself seven storeys down cos I wouldn't dream of it.
    Mate, I wouldn't dream of it. I've met you and you seem ok to me, not the normal trash pretending to be something special found on ajarn.

    OK here are my current thoughts:

    So many thais irrirate me with their sloppy dozey infantile self-centred way of doing things. I work closely with them hence I see it very regularly (but only 3 days per week thank god). It is all me-me-me here, not necessarily in a loud way, but much more slyly, usually via face.

    Another example is, in the the UK, most people driving cars are humble, letting pedestrians cross and flashing their lights to give way to others. Ever see that in Thailand? I have very rarely been allowed to cross in front of a vehicle in Thailand, either in bangkok or the provinces, and here flashing of the lights means "I'M coming, so get out of MY way!"

    They are also sneeky and extremely short-sighted when it comes to business, and will rip off regular customers for the sake of making a few quick baht but don't realise that this will probably lose them a customer.

    Furthermore, there is little common good in Thailand. perhaps 90% of police are corrupt and are more interested in lining their pockets than upholding the laws of the land, and most thais will happily hand over the bribes, which to me shows the level of social cohesion that this place suffers from and the pod-like existence that thais are stuck with. Most Thais will choose to sell their votes if it'll help them personally, hence these cretins are too infantile to cope with democracy.

    Anyway, to lighten the air:

    Why is a thai woman like a condom? Both will spend more time in your wallet than on your dick!

    Man and his wife visit a marriage counsellor.
    Counsellor: Lets start by talking about something you both have in common
    Man: ok. Neither of us likes to suck cock.
    Last edited by Smeg; 07-03-2008 at 10:55 PM.

  4. #4
    Hifaluten Member
    Wayne Kerr's Avatar
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    Liked your comments about the drivers. A few colleagues of mine were run down today by a dickhead running a red light. Luckily they are okay, although wonder if one will walk again this year . Of course the first Thais on the scene were offended when I told them not to pick them before the ambulance guys could assess spinal injuries. Then the ambulance guys did the same as the others.

    Computer games. Dropped into Poseidon the other week. A group of 30 yr old chaps were sitting around drinking playing their PSPs .

  5. #5
    How Dare You!!
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    Interesting/entertaining OP. Sorry, don't have any examples to add but in response to the Mercedes Benz point:- just try walking across the road in traffic in Australia. You will go under a set of kangaroo bars before you've had a chance to get out your green cross code.

    I stayed in Canada for a while and the contrast is funny. You just have to glance across the road in Canada and all the traffic screeches to a halt incase you were thinking about stepping out.

  6. #6
    I am in Jail
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    ^^ At my gym grown Thai men giggle and yelp to each other like 10 year olds.

    What the hell causes Thais to never reach standard post-puberty mentality levels? This stuff is cute and appealing to the average westerner tourist, but fuck me isn't is twatish to long-term observers.

  7. #7
    My kind of town
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    Ah yes the gym..........talk about invading my personal space

    There are maybe 300 lockers in the gym. I look at the line of lockers and choose one that is in the middle of a bunch that are unoccupied. I look if they have a key hanging in the lock. They have an upper and lower locker. Not the Thais. They all run to one spot. I get done with my workout and there are all the Thais getting dressed and undressed in one spot. Feel like I am in a telephone booth rather than a locker room. Sweaty balls, ass and dick everywhere. Half of them are on their mobile phones yapping away, one is sitting buck naked on the bench in front of my locker reading one of those comic books, one is picking his nose, one is sticking Kleenex in his ears and then there is me.

    I just start flailing my sweaty clothes and towel around and they clear out. They hate to have my sweat drenched workout shorts hit them upside the head!!

  8. #8
    ding ding ding
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    If I'm in an attempted conversation with a Thai, another Thai might butt into the conversation and the person I was speaking to will drop my conversation and then speak to the other Thai. This happens all the time and is very annoying.

  9. #9

    R.I.P.


    dirtydog's Avatar
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    Your Thai must be shite then cos you aint controlling the conversation

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spin View Post
    If I'm in an attempted conversation with a Thai, another Thai might butt into the conversation and the person I was speaking to will drop my conversation and then speak to the other Thai. This happens all the time and is very annoying.
    Thai rak Thai, didnt you know?

    Apart from when they are:
    -dumping their vulnerable on the streets to beg for 14 hours per day 7 days per week,
    -killing each other on the roads,
    -conning each other with bullshit corruption,
    -beheading each other in the south,
    - polluting the fuck out of each other with garbage, fumes and noise.
    -pushing in queues,
    -shooting and gang-raping each other
    -selling their daughters as sex slaves,
    -getting massively in debt simply to gain the face of owning a car and showing off,
    -maintaining a caste system to boost certain people's wealth and self-esteem via nothing more than their skin colour,
    - running the most selfish, infantile system of democracy known to man
    -manipulating each other with "jowchu" and "kee-hung" crap and financial demands whilst spreading HIV like wild fire
    - spending more of their GDP on prostitution than on education (ok this one is an educated guess),
    etc etc etc etc....

    But apart from that, they are lovely to the average two-week tourist
    Last edited by Smeg; 07-03-2008 at 11:47 PM.

  11. #11
    I am in Jail
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    I don't disagree with all being said here, but we farangs have a lot to answer to, and it's not pretty either

  12. #12
    I am in Jail
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    Go on then, there is space for your list as well as mine on here. Lots of dropout tossers here, as there would be in a place with my aforementioned problems to deal with before getting round to them.

  13. #13
    ding ding ding
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Your Thai must be shite then cos you aint controlling the conversation
    Your damn right there mate

  14. #14

    R.I.P.


    dirtydog's Avatar
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    Wait until you can control the conversation before you waste your time talking to these idiots, otherwise it just wastes your time and builds their hopes up of ripping off a farang

  15. #15

    R.I.P.


    dirtydog's Avatar
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    Although, saying that, a good trick is whenever they come up with shite where you know they are trying to stitch you up, just say you don't understand and carry on with your original demands

  16. #16
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    Maybe I have been here too long alternatively I am becoming Smeg - maybe both! I have worked for a variety of companies in varies positions.

    1. They can't multi task. Everything is completed one after the other. Send a fax to Jack then call Jill. If Jacks fax is busy they continue to try until it is done before they call Jill. Sometimes I wonder if they can take a dump and a piss at the same time.

    2. Horrendous work ethic. They arrive on time and leave on time and get nothing done in between. They sit on MSN Chat before anything else gets done.

    3. They don't think in the present. The company has spent 500,000 Baht on a reception area and the twat behind the reception desk is having a slurpy behind her desk in front of waiting clients.

    4. They refuse to learn anything more than what they already know. He knows photoshop, he knows photoshop and that is about it. Try finding a multi skilled Thai.

    5. Urgency is not a factor. No concept of getting anything done today.

    6. They have this sense that their 711 degree is the highlight of their life. I have an MBA so I want 40,000 Baht - fuckall experience in anything. I am a programmer with a degree in IT. I want 20,000 Baht then does not show up for work for 4 of her first 2 weeks. I am good at photoshop and I have a degree in computer science - then spends an entire day making a blue rectangle with rounded corners. A 7 flucking hour rectangle. Then gets pissed off when it is said to be blan.


    7. Unproductive - I am certain that for the one company I worked for they would be able to replace 3 Thai's with a (normal) Westerner and it would cost them the same except things would get done faster.



    Westerners:


    1. They live in an alternative reality. Thailand is perfect, Thailand is perfect because I don't want to go home. I fear going home where people will see through my bullshit, laziness and I have to live in my bedsit.

    2. Classless fucks. I have never met so many low class white riffraff in Africa than what I have met in Thailand. Real filth! I kid you not. They can hide in Thailand because the Thai's cannot see a class structure between Westerners.

    3. Bullshitters. Met a guy who was teaching at a school and said he was a stock broker in New York. Never knew what the S&P 500 was. Met a secret service agent who could not demonstrate water boarding. Met an attorney who apparently used to shag USD1,000 a night hookers but was teaching at a government school for 25,000 Baht a month. Met a man on a secret mission who was working in Iraq. When he was pissed it transpires that he was part of the kitchen cleaning crew of KB(?). Ahh fluck!


    The list just goes on!

    Last edited by Reaper; 08-03-2008 at 02:46 AM. Reason: Spelling is shite!

  17. #17
    Not an expat
    Fabian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne Kerr View Post
    Computer games. Dropped into Poseidon the other week. A group of 30 yr old chaps were sitting around drinking playing their PSPs .
    Poseidon, the highrise brothel on Ratchada? I wondered how it's from the inside so would you mind to tell about it?

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
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    Negative stuff like this just reminds me of the ajarnforum propaganda

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
    They can hide in Thailand because the Thai's cannot see a class structure between Westerners.
    Great post reaper. I particularly liked the bit quoted above

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Interesting/entertaining OP. Sorry, don't have any examples to add but in response to the Mercedes Benz point:- just try walking across the road in traffic in Australia. You will go under a set of kangaroo bars before you've had a chance to get out your green cross code.
    Are you sure you were visiting the right Australia?

  21. #21
    How Dare You!!
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    ^I would say Australia is very car oriented in terms of who gets priority. I rarely see car drivers give way to cyclists and pedestrians at junctions etc. The kangaroo bars comment was an exaggeration - since leaving the scene of a serious injury accident in Oz is punished severely, often with custodial sentences (not like LOS where fleeing the scene is standard practice ).

    UK is more 50/50 in terms of car/pedestrian priority I found but when I stayed in Canada I was surprised to see cars stopping to let me cross if I just stood at the kerb looking across the road (not at a zebra crossing). I was told this is the law in Canada. I think that is good - I prefer the idea of pedestrians getting priority, especially in built up areas.

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat
    peterpan's Avatar
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    I dunno why they bother painting the Ped Lines across the road, never had a driver stop for me and on the occasions I myself stop for pedestrians they just stare blankly at me, don't move and I sit there like the fool I am waiting for something to happen.

  23. #23
    Cenosillicaphobiac
    Plan B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    Although, saying that, a good trick is whenever they come up with shite where you know they are trying to stitch you up, just say you don't understand and carry on with your original demands
    I don't understand. Just ban MtD like I said.

  24. #24
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper
    They refuse to learn anything more than what they already know.
    yeah, that's for me by far their biggest flaw, no brain and no willingness to learn to correct their lack of education. Not sure if it's laziness or pure stupidity. Thank god, they are exceptions.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat reinvented's Avatar
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    most of them are halfwits
    should do waht the clued up thais do and build a wall, a big wall, physical and metaphysiacl and not deal with the rest of the nob heads

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