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and set about boring the living shit out of as many whores as he could by recounting his latest exploits, he couldn't see that they only wanted the money, slip and slide and off you glide

down the escalator in the big C ending up on the second floor where he could see Acer laptops for sale with genuine ( ha fukin ha ) copies of windows 8 operating systems , which had yet to be invented by Bill G and his mates

"fuk that shit" he said out loud, upon hearing this a young Thai whore came over to him and said OK how much yo give me?

"Just how young are you", he said, in his politest, unpressing tones, moving casualy away, from the heat of the day, towrds a friendly looking tree

"I'm 76, but everyone says I can pass for 50", she replied. "You wanna go on my hairy axe wound, young man?", she inquired..

I would love a go at it , but I only have mmmmmmmmm he quickly tried to remember in Thai what he had in his pocket ( ha roy saam sip baht ) he actually had 520 baht in his pocket , but his Thai wasnt that good , then he thought fuck it I would rather spend it on

beer! He doffed his cap and said good day to the granny slapper, quickly making his getaway. As he walked, carefree and at peace with the world he spotted

the tuk tuk driver who had been so helpful to him earlier in the day, "Hi Somchai, can you take me to an atm please, I need some cash for beer and a

soapy at Poseidon. I hear the ladies there are stacked". Somchai nodded in assent, climbed aboard with his eager passenger and headed for the nearest ATM. While speeding along, he suggested...

that they stop to meet his sister, it was on the way and the experiance might calm him, "she very dee makmak" said Somchai

But unfortunately his sister had not yet returned from the 'clinic',so Somchai
asked our hero if he liked dogs.......

he repliedyes please !!!!! So he u turned the tuk tuk and headed straight for Pattaya along the way he spotted a

dead goat, and said "i'd bugger a dead goat I'm so bloody horny at the moment" but Somchai only smiled and said "solly, me not know any dead goats" OK said our hero lets go

to another place where 2 people dont post replies at the same tme 5555555 however afte buying the biggest fuck off Durian he could carry he headed for

a bar across the road to entice the girls there with his enormous

smelly fruit,,infact he was ordered to shower before re/entering

which he did with gutso, he was sick to the stomach of his own stench and need a good shower before he choose a girl to give him a golden shower

of 50 satang pieces,which is what he tried to pay her with,but

he became overcome with grief as he had just witnessed a gheko get swallowed whole by a sea cuecumber that had strayed inland , seeing this strange event made him

think about his last American girlfriend. I was that gecko he mused. He shook his head to rid himself of that horrific memory and looked for a shower.

Refreshed and invigorated our hero was set to launch his next assault on Bangkok,
Looking every bit the Spiv he set out to

shag as much as possible, drink a lakes worth of alcohol, spend money needlessly and fail to remember much of what transpires. He thought, where's the best, most rocking, ultimately deviant place in this fair city...

He fumbled in his pocket for a crumpled bit of paper.
1. Loongs olde worlde Sexpat bistro and naked shove h'ppeny Emporium? No!
2. Nancy's hot, buttered crumpet bar? NOOO!

"Ahh, here it is", Jim's Dive, round the back of Lulu's stop annimation factory......

Sawatt dee krup kun Jim !! he explained is his best Thaialike lingo as there were a couple of fresh faced farangs within earshot that would marvel at his grasp of this strange lingo ,, however Jim was busy so he quietly whispered to Jims 17 year old wife behind the bar ,, where is the

"...the key you were supposed to leave by your front door?" he looks around nervously to see if Jim was watching.
Smiling, the girl answered back, "