A day in the life...

[Reg Dingle]

what can I re-purpose that mahogany cabinet thing into?

Tinder for that minging 3 piece

[Mendip]

^^

Then use it as an album storage and book storage facility.

What, you mean a book case?

In actual fact, my mum informed me a couple of years ago that she'd skipped all my boxes of records to make space in her loft. She's kept a load of useless plastic crap though. There were at least 50 Bowie and Lou Reed vinyl albums that went to landfill, not to mention a load of classic 80s albums.

Or take all the draws and shelves out then use it as a linen chest.

A linen chest... a great idea! I could keep it in the outdoor privy, or maybe use it as seating when our friends come round for a sing song around the harpsichord?

What century are you in up there, Joe?

Use the money to replace the ripped leather on your armchair.

That's not leather mate, that's genuine vinyl and it hasn't taken well to the climate. Lola has made things worse.

[DrWilly]

I like the piece. Don’t listen to them. It does not need to be full. Remember less is more.

[Joe 90]

A posh display cabinet for your polished fossils and rocks?

[Mendip]

^^, ^,

I'd forgotten about this. That piece of furniture is still taking up room and gathering dust. If it wasn't mahogany I think it would be good in the chicken run for nest boxes, but that seems a real waste.


For several months now I've been mentioning to the gardener that one of our mango trees is desperate for a pruning. He always say's, 'yes boss', and then completely fucking ignores me. When I returned home from work last week I saw that the tree was still untouched and thought, fuck it, I'll do it myself then.

I started preparations first thing this morning and by 08:30am I couldn't help but notice that the gardener's school run was taking an awful lot longer than usual.

First step was to remove a couple of big weaver ant nests. I placed the stepladder underneath two big nests and prepared to remove them.



Here was the big nest just above and to the left of the ladder.



I went back with my long-handled secateurs but ants were dropping out of the tree and attacking me. I looked up and saw that I must have twatted another nest with the top of the step-ladder when I placed it under the tree.



This was just hopeless. Before I knew it there were ants everywhere, swarming around like Chinese tourists at a breakfast buffet.

I managed to clip away this new nest and boshed it into the pond.



The fish soon started feasting on the unexpected bounty, turning the ants into fish and chips with any luck.



But that was it, there were ants everywhere and my plan was in ruins. I managed to hack away the two big remaining nests with a scythe mounted on a 5 metre bamboo pole, but it was no good. The ground was covered in ants and I was getting bitten to buggery. No way was any pruning getting done today.

The ladder was out of bounds.



My feet were covered in ants. They bite hard and when you slap them off the head continues biting. You have to admire their bravery, to be honest.



Now I could see why the dogs hadn't joined me... they usually love to watch a job getting done in the garden but they were too wise to watch this.

I managed to take down the step-ladder and then ran.



And now I see why the gardener has been ignoring me.

[Pragmatic]

Seems the gardener knew what he was doing. Or not doing in this case. To trim my trees I use one of these fitted on a 3m bamboo pole.

[malmomike77]

Or an electric one, cheap these days

https://www.lazada.com.ph/tag/electric-pole-chainsaw/

[Edmond]

I couldn't help but notice that the gardener's school run was taking an awful lot longer than usual.

You should drive the daughter to school Mendo, spend the time chatting, no phones, etc etc. Great daddy-daughter time and learning time as you take the conversations to such places.

It's great for extra daily father-daughter time as she grows, learns and develops, and something she would no doubt look back on fondly as she grows up.

[armstrong]

You should drive the daughter to school Mendo, spend the time chatting, no phones, etc etc. Great daddy-daughter time and learning time as you take the conversations to such places.

It's great for extra daily father-daughter time as she grows, learns and develops, and something she would no doubt look back on fondly as she grows up.

It's good because ..

1. They're stuck there with you, and
2. You don't have to look at each other.

[Mendip]

You should drive the daughter to school Mendo,

There speaks a man of leasure...

The school run can easily last 1hr 30 mins and I can't usually take 3 hours out of the day, sadly. At the moment I do the afternoon run for exactly the reasons you say but it isn't often possible.

The gardener has a little sideline going and also picks up one of the daughter's classmates so sadly even when I do the school runs it isn't one on one time.

[Stumpy]

Man do I remember those days of Mot Dang. Fiercely defensive, bit just burns and they attack in swarms. NO THANKS.......

This is why I keep my Mango trees short and only 5 or 6 years. Then out they go. The fruit is always better as well. I had 3 huge ones like you have Mendy and those damn ants love the big ones. I assume its because the branches are more stable. The Mangos that grew on them were not very good at all and a pain in the ass to get too.

BTW....Thanks again for that horrific foot pic. I am sure Dil will be along soon with some comments as well.

[Mendip]

^ Seriously?

The right foot is my best side!

[Reg Dingle]

I am sure Dil will be along soon with some comments as well.

Looks like he's been for a pedicure

[malmomike77]

^ and a Brazilian on the hobbit feet

[DrWilly]

And it still looks diabolical!

[Reg Dingle]

I reckon Looper will knock a few out over that pic

[Stumpy]

^ Seriously?

The right foot is my best side!

Well you can do us a few favors. Either wear socks and shoes or don't take pics anymore.

[Stumpy]

I reckon Looper will knock a few out over that pic

[Reg Dingle]

Well you can do us a few favors. Either wear socks and shoes or don't take pics anymore.

Or pixellate like he does with his face.

Makes you wonder don't it?

[Mendip]

Lots of feet comments again I see.

Ain't it strange how the most vocal foot critics didn't have the balls to post up pics of their wonderful feet in a thread made specially for the purpose!


I still had unfinished business with our mango tree so went down first thing this morning to try and catch the ants before they get up. We have a 4 metre bamboo ladder which I stealthily positioned, ran back to get the saw, and came back to this...

The b@stard ants were all over it within minutes.



Plan B... thanks to Pragmatic for this tip... Green owed and sent!



This branch was my first target and the saw on a 4 metre length of bamboo was just the job.



It took a while but I eventually sawed through this branch, and one more before the ants were all over the ground and attacking me.



It seems I get about half an hour before the ants realise that they can get me from the ground so this will take a few more days, half an hour each morning, branch by branch.

[Edmond]

Like some people do with table legs, could you stand in a basin of water while doing it Mendy?


Perhaps with a 50/50 bleach solution?

Or hire a few blokes to come round once a week and you sit there with a cool drink and tell them what to do?

Ain't it strange how the most vocal foot critics didn't have the balls to post up pics of their wonderful feet

A weekly pedicure is lovely and well recommended.


You come across as a bloke that could do with some chilling out, kicking back, and a good weekly body scrub to be honest. Fok standing around in blazing 50 degree sunshine getting bitten by fokin' fire ants everyday when some hired bloke could. Chill-chill dude, it's the best way.

[Shutree]

Or an electric one, cheap these days

That'll be my next purchase, a battery operated telescopic chainsaw. I want a strimmer which uses the same battery pack too. I already have a small battery operated chainsaw and the gf got herself a lightweight strimmer. Both cheap and both total crap. The chainsaw has actually cut a few branches, the strimmer is absolutely useless. So this time I am not rushing into it. I don't need anything heavy duty, only the occasional branch to trim like Mendy's mango and I have a petrol strimmer, I want something to do around the borders more easily. The Greenworks tools look to be a fair balance between quality and price but they are only online and I haven't found one seller from where I can get all the bits at the same time. This is important because they have batteries and chargers in at least 3 different sizes, which might or might not be interchangeable. Global House sell Dewalt batteries and chargers, also in at least 3 different sizes, together with lots of Dewalt tools, except they don't sell Dewalt strimmers or telescopic chainsaws. This project to source just a couple of tools has taken up more than one day in this Isan life.

[malmomike77]

It seems I get about half an hour before the ants realise that they can get me from the ground

just chuck a ring of ant powder around the base of the tree

[Mendip]

A weekly pedicure is lovely and well recommended.

There speaks a man of leasure, again!

I had time to clip Anna's nails today, but no time for my own.

I seem to get no spare time and I have no idea how to relax any more. Yet I achieve nothing many days.

I now refer to the gardener as Paul (Daniels) because he is so good at disappearing. No-one else in the household has any idea what I'm on about, even the daughter looks confused, but it makes me smile.

[Stumpy]

Ain't it strange how the most vocal foot critics didn't have the balls to post up pics of their wonderful feet in a thread made specially for the purpose!

I posted pics in that thread of me floating in the pool with a beer in my hand. Both feet fully present and accounted for. They were nothing like those filthy fungus infests paws you call feet.