Thread: Quick Jokes

Grandpa: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!"
Boy: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!"

Originally Posted by GracelessFawn

Election and Erection are spelled almost exactly the same. They both mean the same thing too. A dick rising to power.

ONLY way anyone could even THINK they are even SPELLED the same would be because they are THAI.

Just bought a thesaurus from the store, took it home and found all the pages are blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi

A pair of travelling exhibits on theory of computation was known as the Turing Circus

Apple's response to Google Glasses will be called iBrowse.

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After awhile one elephant says to the other, "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"

I had a fight with a snowman last night.

He didn’t last long..

..things got a bit heated.

We've got a transvestite joining us for Christmas this year.

He said he can't wait to eat, drink and be Mary.

I went to a fetish restaurant last night.

I got toed in the hole.

I had sex with a hooker last night.














I must have been pissed. I cant even remember going into the rugby club..

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

A wealthy Nigerian Prince has died and left all his millions to a cat.

He said he tried to give away his fortune for years, but no one ever responded to his e-mails.

Some greens owed for several jokes on this page, unfortunately, out of ammo right now.

Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Originally Posted by GracelessFawn

Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

You'll make someone a perfect life

Originally Posted by david44

Originally Posted by GracelessFawn

Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

You'll make someone a perfect life

555. Oiling my sandwich maker.....

A White Horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Here mate, we"ve got a drink named after you!"The horse says, "What, Steve?"

Originally Posted by GracelessFawn

Oiling my sandwich maker.....

Virgin Olive Oil, I hope.

The wife asked me to get her "bath stuff" for Christmas.

She wasn't impressed when she unwrapped a toaster.

I opened my electric bill at the same time I opened my water bill.

Needless to say, I was shocked!

Bought my mum a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.

Originally Posted by OhOh

Originally Posted by GracelessFawn

Oiling my sandwich maker.....

Virgin Olive Oil, I hope.

No, KY.

The hurricane said to the coconut palm tree, "Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!'

What do you call and Indian mechanic? Pindudah Geep