I must've missed that. Have you got a link?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
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I must've missed that. Have you got a link?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
You are not "expecting the worst", you are not seeing the obvious in front of your eyes, though you should if you were Asia savvy as you claim!Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
It's questionable whether Sandra would be able to hold any regular job, or if she wanted to. Remember 'traditional roles'? What's expected from the hubby?
The MIL is playing to your pride and integrity, if you are the responsible grown-up husband her daughter deserves, you will support her family without the need to ask for it, isn't it obvious they lose income as Sandra is not working now? And they've welcomed you into their home as a family member.
Fekk, I feel like I'm explaining some basic stuff to one of my first-time visiting friends.
no, but Filipinas like what I have posted about are a common thing.
So are there ANY happy western-filipina marraiges?
And it is part of their culture for the guy to offer financial support which is why some of the family think she should ditch me for somebody with better prospects.
Anyway, I'm in the mall now - please see my thread in the visa section regarding what to do on my rtn flight to Manila when Phills immigration ask where my onward ticket is, need to know a cheap way around this cheers.
^^ Whitey can be of great help in this situation.
Of course, plenty!:DQuote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
Well then, for fucks sake - why is everybody giving me the negative?
The family has four daughters (one in Canada) and none have yet settled down. the eldest is 33 and desperate to meet somebody, so of course they want me to marry their daughter - but it doesn't mean the moment I get hitched they will take everything I have and leave me in a field which is how most of this negativity comes across.
Fair enough, tell me the score but see it from their point of view. Most of you lot, with respect, have been stung in the past by a woman and most of them were western women, so unless I want to spend the rest of my life single, which I don't, then I should just do what I have to do to keep her.
She can be a right pain in the arse at times but I do love her enough to miss her dreadfully if I ever had to leave.
I had a PM from somebody saying the moment I marry 50% of what I own is hers, well there's ways around that also. Don't allow things to get very very bed because given the choice, I'm sure they would prefer to live happily ever after.
If I suddenly came into money I would give it all to my mum, my laptop can't be cut in half and as for divorce, well... If it came to that I wouldn't want to re-marry anyway and I certainly wouldn't stay here.
Kids?
Happens everyday in far worse situations... I know a guy who got a bargirl pregnant in his first week in Thailand, he was only 23 and they are now in the Uk. I want to have kids, and I have the chance to do so with a beautiful woman who can be a good laugh and who loves me, despite the fact I am a balding skinny selfish twat. If I pass this up I'd be hard pressed to find somebody I liked and was attracted to more.
If nobody read the yellow writing that was the best advice I've had yet, from a woman who's 22 yr old son married a Soi Cowboy girl - thenj please go back a couple of pages and read it.
I've been negative all my adult life and it has achieved fuck all.
I guess you missed the first sentence. I am very happily married with a Filipina now. I put her in check from the get go and let it be known that control was not going to rest with any woman. Things are pretty good, been with my current wife for more than 4 years.Quote:
I''ve married two filipinas. The first one was a disaster and the second one is awesome. I've seen the good, bad and ugly and everything in between.
I met her while teaching here in Thailand. Her family never entered the equation until after we had a baby and they knew that I ran the show. We send money to her family, but we only send to her widow mother and just to pay her power and water bills. The other 8 kids can take care of the other expenses of her mother. And it's all done by choice, for the first two years, we sent nothing at all.
It's not part of the culture for the guy to offer financial support, they just want you to believe that its the case. In a typical Filipino family, the man will support his parents, brothers and sisters, not the family of his wife. Heck, sometimes he doesn't even support his own wife and kids, that's the wife's job.
Her financial prospects are better with you than with a typical local boy so she is holding on. No guarantees finding someone better off. My ex went with me knowing that I didn't have a lot, but she said she was ok with that. After a year, she realized that I really didn't have a lot and didn't have that much ambition to give her a lot more. So keep that in mind.
Stick to your guns, don't marry. See how long she'll stick around with you when you ain't got much and you tell her to kick her family to the curb.
Look, maybe I should just invite her with me to Thailand.
She's in a mood again because I am angry that none of her family told me that once married she is entitled to 50% of what I own and that not being able to divorce is applicable to both.
However, she was willing for me to go to the municipality and get whatever questions I wanted answered which included all that stuff.
I was showed a text from the mother to one of the sisters saying that she was not happy with us merely being engaged and living together.
The malady lingers on, I'll invite her with me to Thailand in June.
By the way, the travel agent said I might not even be able to enter Thailand with a rtn from Manila as they will view it as a visa run.
Nobody suggested this scenario, but as you have no intention of giving any material support, and, being your usual self, may well manage to cause offense to face and honour you'd be totally oblivious about in your selfabsorbed way - as the majority of your comments here show already - speculations about an untimely and gruesome death are not entirely the fabrication of overly negative cynical twats who've been bitten before...:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
You will end up giving some material support, whether you define it as you're wife's money or your own. Once you are married it is the same anyway. Get used to it, or back out of the deal.
Fekk, get a grip lad! Haven't you heard of standard wedding legalities the world over???Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
Did you ever have to show your ticket at the airport in BKK on arrival? Do you think Thai immigration cares whether you're on a visa run from the Phils?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
It's the airline which may not let you board, since they may anticipate problems on your return to the Phils without an onward ticket (penalties for them).
Can't believe I forgot to mention that one of the sisters had a text an hour ago from the mother in law saying that being engaged until July isn't good enough - she wants it NOW!
As for the marital terms and conditions, the cousin had said I had nothing to lose.
I have invited her to Thailand with me but she is incommunicado.
I have come here, I am about to get an apartment, and now I've invited her to join me in Thailand, is that not enough?
oh what a sorry mess we make
anyway, have a good life
No.:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
So all the while I'm up for it the nay-sayers have a ball, the moment I start having doubts and concerns, the tables turn and I'm the asshole?
I understand the mother may think I may not return from Thailand to Sandra and the apartment and the valubles I will leave there such as the irreplacable photos of me and my dead mother from 1974, so I have nvited her to come with me.
So are you now saying I should grant her mothers wish and get married this week?
Or am I playing fair after all?
But this story is just a wind up right?
Didn't you say in your original post that your "own mother was worried sick"?
it certainly seems like a wind-up. Scampy seems to be online all the time and yet events keep progressing throughout the day.
i expect he will be married by this evening
Didn't you say in your original post that "your own mother was worried sick"? Oooops Sorry I should have included the quote...
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
I meant my foster mother. ;)
Photos of you in the shanty town Scamp.
Make the story a bit more believable.
holding todays paper
and a crazed filipino brandishing a shotgun
Knowing the guy, unfortunately not!Quote:
Originally Posted by mad_dog
A little dramatised, with himself being the hapless victim and hero in one, but I have no doubt about the authenticity of the story.
Look at the core plot, and it's something which should be vaguely familiar to many who've been around Asia.
Do you think Sandra will end up chopping his knackers off? and would it be a good idea for him to take some pictures of them so he can remember them if and when it happens?
I think the Flipperlanders are faking out Scampy. They're bluffing and Mother in law is being manipulative.
Just do nothing and look amenable and keep smiling. Go around smiling like a loon and saying 'yes yes', but not actually doing anything to marry anyone. The Flippers are the most inert nation out, 'action' is not their middle name.
Having said all that I know numerous westerners who have happy marriages with Filipina girls - usually domestic helpers, but some have more dubious provenances - that they met initially in Wanchai discos. The girls certainly are kind-hearted and look after them nicely.
Do a deal with the MIL for two of 'em :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
Ohhhhhhhhhhh I see clearly now.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
They never ask for money and never will.
But they are sizing you up for future financial benefit.
Scamp let me say this. It will be the last time I say anything on this thread.
Get the fcuk out of there. fokin dissapear quickly. Forget about the girl.
She is locked into a downward spiral into poverty and is willing to take you with her.
Her best way forward is to go back to HK and carry on as before.
You are a young, better than the average looking guy in Asia, you should find a girl that has parents who have careers and thier own money.
Get out of the titty bars and find a girl who is not bound into prostitution by her social - economic background. You deserve more and there are loads of girls who fit this bill.
Stop kidding yourself that prostitiutes are a challenge to get to know, thats bullshit. They are easy to get to know, you just have to flow money in thier direction.
Sort your fokin head out boy.
You can and should do better that this.
Have followed your posts here and other places, I think you should sample the eldest daughter's delights and run, then try a Katoey, write a book, find a nice Chinese girl and settle down on the royaltys from the book!
I bet part of him enjoys all this drama created by them thinking he's a good catch, rather challenging to play with the projected role, isn't it?
pretty easy i think, a big budget production company spots the diamond in the rough and immediatly contacts him adn offers him a 6 figue salary to start workgin fo rthem