Doctor Willy, I presume? A Zambia Trip Report

[DrWilly]

I recently visited Victoria Falls or Mosi-oa-Tunya (the smoke that thunders) in Zambia recently. These falls are one of the seven natural wonders of the world listed by UNESCO. Mosi-oa-Tunya falls border the countries of Zimbabwe and Zambia, and depending how you calculate it are the largest single sheet of falling water in the world at almost 2km wide and over 100 metres deep. Allegedly 'discovered' in 1855 by Scottish explorer Dr Livingstone, and named it after the Queen of England. Obviously Africans already knew of these water falls, but some reports even suggest that the Portuguese had sighted the falls before he had, so he most likely was not even the first European to sight the falls.

The Falls are in a national park, so an entry fee is payable. To my horror they also practise dual pricing; $10 for visitors and 100 Kwacha for locals. Oh well. Pay it anyway.

The day was a touch overcast, but most of this water was spray rather than precipitation. We were soaking wet after a brief walk.

One can bungee jump from this bridge that connects the two countries. But there was no chance I was doing that.

[malmomike77]

kabwe pemba livingstone falling in zambia.

Nice country.

[DrWilly]

The Royal Livingstone Victoria Falls Zambia Hotel by Anantara is a nice place to stay at and they have some wildlife walking around the grounds and driveways.

[DrWilly]

There's a nice decking overlooking the falls. Just perfect for a sundowner.

View from the dining lounge.

[DrWilly]

I prefer this description of Livingstone discovering the Falls by Namwali Serpell in her novel The Old Drift.
https://a.co/bC4mUMb

“Zt. Zzt. ZZZ zzz ZZZ zzzz ZZZ zzzzzz ZZZZ zzzzzzzz ZZZ zzzzzz ZZZ zzzzo’ ona.

And so. A dead white man grows bearded and lost in the blinding heart of Africa. With his rooting and roving, his stops and starts, he becomes our father unwitting, our inadvertent pater muzungu. This is the story of a nation–not a kingdom or a people–so it begins, of course, with a white man. Once upon a time, a goodly Scottish doctor caught a notion to find the source of the Nile. He found instead a gash in the ground full of massed, tumbling water. His bearers called it Mosi-oa-Tunya, which means The Smoke That Thunders, but he gave it the name of his queen. He described the Falls with a stately awe, comparing the flung water to British things: to fleece and snow and the sparks from burning steel, to myriads of small comets rushing on in one direction, each of which left behind its nucleus rays of foam. He speculated that angels had gazed down upon it and said to each other, ‘How lovely.’ He even opined, like a set designer, that there really ought to be mountains in the backdrop. Adventure. Disaster. Fame. Commerce. Christianity. Civilisation.

He was mauled by a lion that shook him in its jaws, he said, as a dog shakes a rat. His wife died of fever; his beloved poodle drowned. He voyaged over land and along endless waterways. He freed slaves as he went, broke their chains with his hands, and took them on as his servants and bearers. Late in his life, he witnessed a massacre–slave traders shooting at people in a lake, so many, the canoes could not pass. He despaired. He was broken, broke; Queen Victoria had forgotten him; the Royal Geographers said he was dead.

Then a mercenary Welsh bastard named Stanley presumed, shook his hand, and sent word to London. And in an instant he was infamous, as if risen from the grave. Yet he refused to return to Merrie England. Doddering, he drove deeper into the continent instead, still seeking his beloved Nile. Oh, father muzungu! The word means white man, but it describes not the skin, but a tendency. A muzungu is one who will zunguluka–wander aimlessly–until they end up in circles. And so our movious muzungu pitched up here again, dragging his black bearers with him. His medicine box went missing–who took it? They never found out–and with it, his precious quinine. Fever hunted him and finally caught him. He died in a hut, in the night, on his bed, kneeling, his head in his hands. His men disembowelled him, planted his heart under a tree, and bore his corpse to the coast.

The HMS Vulture took his body home–what was left without the living was buried under stone in the Nave of Westminster Abbey. His people recognised him by the scrapes of the lion’s teeth on his humerus bone. Such wonder at the resolve of his bearers. To travel with a corpse for months on end, suffering loss and injury, sickness and battle? Through blistering heat and blundering rain, beating off the taboo that to carry death is to beckon it? To come all the way to England, to face interrogation, to build a model of the hut that he died in? What faith! What love! No, no–what fear! That corpse, that body was proof. Without it, who would possibly have taken their word that a white man, among ‘savages’, had died of bad luck–a mere fever?

Men never believe chance can wreak great consequence. Yet the story of this place is full of such slips. Error, n., from the Latin errare: to stray or to veer or to wander. For instance, the bazungu who carved this territory into a colony, then a protectorate, then a federation, then a country came here only because Livingstone did. They drifted in and settled the land, drew arbitrary lines in the sand, stole treaties from chiefs with a devious ruse: a ‘Royal Charter’ meant for business, but used for state. Waving flags and guns and beads to trade with, they scrambled rabid for Africa, and claimed it was Livingstone’s legacy.

Neither Oriental nor Occidental, but accidental is this nation. Would you believe our godly Scotch doc was searching for the Nile in the wrong spot? As it turns out, there are two Niles–one Blue, one White–which means two sources, and neither one of them is anywhere near here. This sort of thing happens with nations, and tales, and humans, and signs. You go hunting for a source, some ur-word or symbol and suddenly the path splits, cleaved by apostrophe or dash. The tongue forks, speaks in two ways, which in turn fork and fork into a chaos of capillarity. Where you sought an origin, you find a vast babble which is also a silence: a chasm of smoke, thundering. Blind mouth!”

[DrWilly]

Some of the pubs along the way looked a bit grim (it was a 7 hour road trip)

Photos taken through the window of the car we were in as we weren't stopping. But I am sure they had 'character'.

[DrWilly]

Back to Mosi-oa-Tunya for a minute. I found some pictures from dry season almost taken at the same spot.

Attachment 110277

Attachment 110278

[Topper]

Amazing photos Willy!

[prawnograph]

Excellent pics.

Note: they may be excellent I haven't got my reading specs and read the heading as A Zombie Trip Report.

[Joe 90]

Decent pics and thread Willy.

Brings back memories of when I lived in Lusaka, an absolute shit hole back then in 91.

[david44]

R u havING a giraffe and what Is vvctorias secret, we need to know , greta pix does tHE ape get the royalties?

How to get there from ASEAN via Addis or Joburg?

[cyrille]

Brings back memories of when I lived in Lusaka.

More ​fertile ground for timescare 'investments'?

[Mendip]

One can bungee jump from this bridge that connects the two countries. But there was no chance I was doing that.

Wuss.

Great pictures Willy and bring back a lot of fond memories for me. I worked onshore in southern Africa many years ago and I often wonder where I'd be now had I remained there. More recently when I've worked offshore Namibia and Angola, at the end of the trips when returning back to shore I've always found the first appearance of the African continent on the horizon quite magical.

[Joe 90]

More ​fertile ground for timescare 'investments'?

No such luck, affairs of the misplaced heart unfortunately.

[DrWilly]

Decent pics and thread Willy.

Brings back memories of when I lived in Lusaka, an absolute shit hole back then in 91.

Not sure it’s changed a whole lot. Maybe a few more malls and a couple of flyovers -paid for by the Chinese- to ease traffic.

R u havING a giraffe and what Is vvctorias secret, we need to know , greta pix does tHE ape get the royalties?

How to get there from ASEAN via Addis or Joburg?

Singapore to Dubai via Emirates then direct to Lusaka.

[Edmond]

Nice bit o' travelling for sure.

Brought me back to the 2 Top Gear Africa specials. Don't think they made it to Zambia, but shure Botswana, Namibia they all be the same. Both are well worth watching.

Download Top Gear Africa Special, Part 1 (2013) [1080p] [WEBRip] [5.1] [YTS] [YIFY] Torrent | 1337x

Download Top.Gear.S19E07.720p.WEB.H264-13[TGx] ⭐ Torrent | 1337x


Download Top.Gear.S10E04.576p.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-[BRUH] Torrent | 1337x

[Joe 90]

When I was on the capital there were only three restaurants, two Chinese and an Italian.
The main roads were dirt tracks full of potholes.
Two international hotels and the dubiou University teaching hospital, enough said.
A total shithole from what the tourists viewed.
The airport only had two international flights a week back then, BA and Aeroflop.
The only sanctuary for expats was the one dodgy golf club.

[DrWilly]

Wuss.

As I get older, I think I am more aware of my own mortality. At Victoria Falls on both sides of the border then have all sorts of action adventures. Zip Lines, white water rafting, bungee jumping, helicopter rides.

We did see someone jump, but the video is not very clear so it wasn't worth sharing.

Actually, speaking of which youtube has blocked my account for my own protection, even though I have the correct passwords, and correct back up acconts with one time passwords - fuckers, so I cannot upload any videos right now.

[DrWilly]

When I was on the capital there were only three restaurants, two Chinese and an Italian.
The main roads were dirt tracks full of potholes.
Two international hotels and the dubiou University teaching hospital, enough said.
A total shithole from what the tourists viewed.
The airport only had two international flights a week back then, BA and Aeroflop.

In that case, I think it has changed a fair bit then. Loads more restaurants, bars and clubs. Main roads all covered, but they sill have potholes. A bunch of hotels and several universities.

W
The only sanctuary for expats was the one dodgy golf club.

Funny you should mention golf, managed to fit in a day yesterday. It was supposed to rain but the skies held out and we had a great nine holes followed by the 19th. Pics to follow soonish.

Why dodgy?

[Edmond]

youtube has blocked my account for my own protection

That's the sorta shiz that gets laptops thrown into walls.

I think it was twitter or instacrap that I had to signup with to view something or other, there were about 10 security protocols to go through, lower case+number passwords are too 'weak' nowadays, because someone might go into my empty account and somehow ruin my life, then after signing up was blocked for one month for some security breach.

Fokin' loada bollix it is.

Brings back memories of when I lived in Lusaka

When I was on the capital there

FFS passportless snubs will be along next to declare that he was stationed there for 3 years.


Any local food pics, or is the grub there a bit scary for those not raised on $1 a week?

[Joe 90]

I did see a few Albinos and a real life elephant man begging, jeez what a place that was.

I left because of some mysterious disease that covered my whole body in horrible and painful boils, it took years to fully recover and thankfully the physical scars have gone.

[DrWilly]

That's grim. No photos needed, thanks.

[Joe 90]

Not sure it’s changed a whole lot.

It's been 30 + years, progress is slow in that part of the world.

[david44]

in horrible and painful boils

or what we call curry here, dare I ask what wass your purpose there work, pleassure, a Dutch friend who wa a lawyer in Gaberone psssed through and sent lots of great reportss from adjacent Malawi, nearesst I got wass promotion to manage an office in Grahametown between Durban and Pretoria turned down for a better op in USA

[helge]

No such luck, affairs of the misplaced heart unfortunately.

Diana Ross, I supreme