Return to the wine country ......

[Stumpy]

Last night did up some Teriyaki marinated Chicken Thighs with a nice plate of Italian spiced veggies



After dinner a Casino visit was on the evening plans.



A pre "Texas Hold'em" poker beverage combo while I waited for a seat at the table. Called it a night making my wallet $480 fatter.

[Joe 90]

my wallet $480 fatter

Nice one for knowing when to quit.

[Stumpy]

Nice one for knowing when to quit.

Well if I would have stayed any longer I would have died of second hand smoke. 3 of the guys at the table were frigging chain smokers and that's brutal for a non smoker.

[Joe 90]

Well if I would have stayed any longer I would have died of second hand smoke. 3 of the guys at the table were frigging chain smokers and that's brutal for a non smoker.

Smoking in public places is banned in the UK, thought it would have been by now across the pond.

[Stumpy]

Smoking in public places is banned in the UK, thought it would have been by now across the pond.

It is....however Indian Casinos are exempt from the law so all the rednecks can smoke at will unfortunately.

[Stumpy]

I fly out later today. Its been a nice trek back to visit. Walking my daughter down the aisle at her wedding was a priceless moment. I spent quality time with mom as this is basically my good bye visit as her health is deteriorating pretty fast now. My pops and I watch a lot of NBA playoff games enjoying food off the grill and cold beer. The weather was unseasonably cool. 8c morning and 12c day but was quite refreshing. I spoke with my wife a bit ago and she said when I get off the plane it may seem like the flight took me to hell by mistake because it is extremely hot 40c.

I have to say, in Thailand I never see US TV commercials nor any news. I return here in the states and I see it all. I find it all rather disturbing to see all the divisive political games they play, the daily murders along with relentless pharmaceutical ads. I can see why people snap or are severely depressed.

I look forward to seeing my wife, playing with our dogs. I will enjoy my wife's cooking and relaxing around the "Ponderosa".

[Topper]

^ nice thread, thanks Stumpy!

[malmomike77]

^ seconded

I fly out later today

Its obviously your business and i know how difficult it is dealing with family issues half way round the world and please tell me to poke off but if i read it right you've made your peace with mum and the next time you visit will likely be to her funeral?

Whilst the visit must have been great with the wedding, it takes quite a lot of spine to cope with both things going on and keep a smile on your face, top man.

[Stumpy]

True True and Thanks Mike. It has been an odd trip for the reasons you noted. The joy and happiness of my daughter getting married then spending what will likely be the last time I see my Mom alive. Being I live on the other side of the planet, hopping a plane and getting back to the US isn't an easy type process unless you have a private jet. I sat with my Dad and told him, you will have to call me when she passes and I will get there as fast as I can to support and help you. The challenge is that he could call me and say she is close but with modern medicine they could say, 2 or 3 days and I could get here and then she lives on for 10 days, 20 days or 3 months and I just can't come here and wait for that moment. So I spent a tremendous amount of time with her, cooking meals she likes (But she doesn't eat much) and picking up her favorite donut every morning when I walked to the coffee shop.

I think I am more amazed that my younger brother, who lives 1.5 hours away, never comes up. He didn't even come up for her Bday a few days ago when I was here. I wanted him to come up so we could all have a big dinner. He had a host of excuses. Life as it is.

In the big picture who knows when my Mom will pass. Meds have a way of prolonging the inevitable. Her quality of life is completely gone at this point. She has really awful days and then a few good hours in a day where she is reasonably cognizant. She is sleeping 18hrs to 20 hrs a day so I had to catch her on those good moments.

On the work front for me, things are quite busy. We have 2 or 3 products kicking off for new model cars so lots going on. Just can't hang out and work from California like I did in the past and during the Covid pandemic.

[Joe 90]

I think I am more amazed that my younger brother, who lives 1.5 hours away, never comes up.

Similar situation here mate.
Really frustrating with no rhyme or reason to it.

All the best and safe travels JP.

BTW, I wish I had a "Ponderosa" like yours

[Stumpy]

All the best and safe travels JP.

Thanks Jo.

[Stumpy]

Well as life would be, my Mom passed today. I spent 15 outstanding days with my Dad and Mom and as important, I walked my youngest daughter down the aisle at her wedding. A true mixed bag of emotions. I have to say I suspected that my Mom waited until I came home. She enjoyed pics and video's of her grand daughter getting married as I shared them with her on the TV. I cooked all her favorite foods while there. Every morning when I took my walk through the vineyards then to the coffee shop I picked up her favorite maple bar donut. She would find a way to the table every morning to enjoy it. I arrived at their place a day before my Bday so we shared that and hers was May 5th and we shared that and I cooked her one of her favorite meals and baked her a cake. "Yeah I can bake" .

On the day the driver picked me up to head to the airport to return home, I gave her a big hug, said some words and she said "Thanks for making the trip, Its time we go". I knew then. By the time I landed in Taiwan and got connected to Wifi my phone was loaded with messages from my Dad and Brother. Mom had slipped into a coma. By the time I got to Thailand she was on a respirator. About 18 hrs later she had passed away. I knew she had waited. God Bless her.

I am so thankful I got to share those last days with her. She sat with my Dad and I as we watched the Warriors drinking beers and said how Stephen Curry is such a good player.

[Edmond]

^ My condolences. May she RIP.

Sounds like the best was made of an awful, inevitable situation, over the last few weeks, with some golden memories made.

[bsnub]

I have to say I suspected that my Mom waited until I came home. S

I suspect she did. My condolences JP.

[misskit]

^^^ My condolences also.

You did all the best things for her in the end. She was happy.

[Stumpy]

Thanks Lu and Snubs. Sharing that time with her is priceless. So we move on. Now have to see what my Dad is wanting to do. He expressed interest in moving over her with my Wife and I. I think it might just do him so good as my wife LOVES my Dad. They get along so well. Plenty of room here at the ponderosa.

[Looper]

Sorry to hear that Stumps but sounds like she was ready to go

Great timing with your trip

[misskit]

Now have to see what my Dad is wanting to do. He expressed interest in moving over her with my Wife and I. I think it might just do him so good as my wife LOVES my Dad. They get along so well. Plenty of room here at the ponderosa.

Wow. That would be outstanding. Go for it!

[PAG]

Thanks Lu and Snubs. Sharing that time with her is priceless. So we move on. Now have to see what my Dad is wanting to do. He expressed interest in moving over her with my Wife and I. I think it might just do him so good as my wife LOVES my Dad. They get along so well. Plenty of room here at the ponderosa.

I meant to ask would this now enable your Dad to at least visit you and your wife? I'm sure that he will have enough to occupy him for the next few weeks and months, settling of your Mom's affairs etc, but I'm sure he would enjoy spending time in your own environment.

[bsnub]

He expressed interest in moving over her with my Wife and I.

That would be awesome! I would love to see him sitting out at the bar by the pool having a knock of whiskey and watching the Warriors game!

[Stumpy]

I meant to ask would this now enable your Dad to at least visit you and your wife? I'm sure that he will have enough to occupy him for the next few weeks and months, settling of your Mom's affairs etc, but I'm sure he would enjoy spending time in your own environment.

My dad came over about mid house build process. We did a lot of traveling around with my wife and he enjoyed it immensely. He hasn't been able to return due to my Moms condition. Before my Mom passing us 4 used to have video calls and my wife would take them on a tour around the place as we landscaped it. I told my Dad, I have a Hammock, a Big ass TV at the pool bar and we can watch the Warriors, Niners and Giants anytime. I said the only change is, you have to watch in the morning instead of at night. I told him you adapt quickly to eating Nachos and Drinking beer at 9am.

[Stumpy]

A few pics when my Dad visited, I went and picked him up in US, helped him pack and flew out a few days later He just turned 80. Good Ol Pisan......



House almost done. Wife and my Dad having fun and laughing.



Took him to a Moo Kah Tah. Had a GREAT time.



Having grown up in SF area, he was no stranger to cracking Dungeness crab, so Thailand shrimp off the grill, easy money.



I think he would enjoy living here. Make a few adjustments and leg out his last years. But choice is his.

[malmomike77]

Sorry to hear the news, inevitable thought it was. It is amazing how these things happen, undoubtedly she held on to see you. The plan with dad sounds great, no lose, he gets time with you and Mrs JPPR. He also gets top quality steak and decent seafood at least once a week and all he has to do is maintain the pool when he's not knocking back a mojito in the fart tub Re your brother, I find that quite sad given he must have known the time was short and this aint no dress rehearsal - I think he'll reflect on that whether he likes to or not over the years.

My mum got put under on a syringe driver signed off by one of my sisters, I was at work at the time and we'd all agreed when the time came we'd be there. I got a call and got straight in the car to race back to say goodbye, broke every speed limit on the 2 hour drive and she'd told them to go ahead 20 minutes before i walked through the door - its still a bone of contention in the family 25 years later. We'd been taking it on one week rotations to nurse her so it was one of my two weeks at work. As you can imagine i'd been speaking to her a lot and she reminisced about her life, the kids etc and even though we knew the outcome it was quite a happy time but we'd all agreed we'd be there as a family to say one last goodbye.

Anyway, at 80 I reckon your dad will have a whale of time in Asia, sure he'll have moments of sadness about mum but he'll be much better off with family around who care for him rather than rattling around on his own on the of chance your brother might pop round. Gets my vote in case you are having a TD Poll

[Norton]

He expressed interest in moving over here with my Wife and I

After my dad passed, mother moved here to live with us. Had the time of her life so figure your dad would as well.

[Topper]

Condolences Stumpy

After the funeral, let the lawyers take care of the estate and get your dad over as quick as possible. It's a big change in life to going from having someone in the house to being alone and nothing ain't much more depressing than that. Just my 2 cents....sorry if I'm intruding.