Same shit, different ship

[hallelujah]

Because the gardener has got a massive todger?

I was quite disappointed to wake up the next day and see that nobody had got my joke here (dil, maybe?).

It's far too vulgar to explain, but it's times like these when I feel I am wasted on here.

Although I often am, to be fair.

[Reg Dingle]

I was quite disappointed to wake up the next day and see that nobody had got my joke here (dil, maybe?).

It's far too vulgar to explain, but it's times like these when I feel I am wasted on here

Its quite a serious work thread this mate. Bent alpha and beta take umbrage to any puerile behaviour on here

[hallelujah]

Its quite a serious work thread this mate. Bent alpha and beta take umbrage to any puerile behaviour on here

I bet he's shacked up in that single bed pulling the head off it hoping he'll get a knee-trembler off the Filipina cook for that bag of chilies he gave her.



He'll be like Papillon scratching the days off the wall until he's back at Nana in his Rolf Harris shirts and Lazada shorts.

[Reg Dingle]

I bet he's shacked up in that single bed pulling the head off it hoping he'll get a knee-trembler off the Filipina cook for that bag of chilies he gave her.

I think the cook is a bloke but any port in a storm as those sailing folk would say.

He'll be like Papillon scratching the days off the wall until he's back at Nana in his Rolf Harris shirts and Lazada shorts.

I thought he bought a joblot of them one Songkran


Do they not get weekends or any days off work on these boats?

....Although I guess it's just like bingewatching the tv and constantly tugging yourself off for a couple of months

[hallelujah]

....Although I guess it's just like bingewatching the tv and constantly tugging yourself off for a couple of months

So he's not sharing a bunk with Ahmed anymore then?

[Reg Dingle]

^ He is a bit late posting today

[hallelujah]

^ He is a bit late posting today

Probably dreaming of the good old days with Ahmed

[Mendip]

Oh for the gift of laughter...

Yes, the Filipino night cook is a bloke but no, I didn't give him a bag of dried chillies in the hopes of sexual favours in return.

Maybe he's hoping for a bus driver's 'pork sword', which quite frankley I have heard is more like a chipolata.

And no, we don't get weekends off out here. Five day weeks are for landlubbers, not seriously manly offshore workers.

Wasn't it you who who bought a cheap dehydrater off Lazada last year too, to dry mango and the Flippo chef's chili?

Yes, well remembered. I haven't used it in a while. To be honest dehydrating fruit didn't prove to be a very exciting hobby, not even in Isaan. I may dust it off and try again if ever I manage to retire.

I was quite disappointed to wake up the next day and see that nobody had got my joke here (dil, maybe?).

It's far too vulgar to explain, but it's times like these when I feel I am wasted on here.

I did see your 'joke' Hal, but I was laughing so hard I forgot to reply...

Here's a Green for being so funny...

But immediately revoked for insinuating that I have a slack arse due to anal sex with my gardener.

Please try and keep this thread clean!

He'll be like Papillon scratching the days off the wall until he's back at Nana in his Rolf Harris shirts and Lazada shorts.

I don't recall Rolf Harris being a particularly snappy dresser?

And I always wear long troosers when out socialising in the city. I don't like to get mixed up with the riff-raff.


Anyway, this is a bit of equipment that you won't find in the average household... unless it includes a bus driver with a seriously hairy arse that needs sorting out?

It's an industrial floor waxer. The floors on the boat are regularly waxed to keep the floor covering clean and free of stains, and to maintain grip.




Today we are levelling at a future drill rig spud location. There is quite a tight tolerance so we need to infill the footprint from a previous spudding. The drill rig is due to return to the exact same location.

The dredging machine has been configured to full underwater JCB mode. These subcontractors have some fancy software... the red is low areas, the green is high areas, the grey is good. Everything has to be done by software simulation because the disturbed sediment destroys the visibility.

They level a bit, break off, we do a survey to determine the new seabed topography, they feed the new seabed DTM into their software, then they return to continue digging, and so on...



I have a feed through to my office. Thankfully I'm on night shift or else I would be faced with the dilemma of either watching the underwater digging machine fill in a hole, or watching Man Utd dig themselves an even deeper hole at the foot of the Premier league.



Actually no... there would be no dilemma of course.

What's not to like about watching an underwater JCB?

[hallelujah]

I did see your 'joke' Hal, but I was laughing so hard I forgot to reply...

insinuating that I have a slack arse due to anal sex with my gardener.


I have a feed through to my office. Thankfully I'm on night shift or else I would be faced with the dilemma of either watching the underwater digging machine fill in a hole, or watching Man Utd dig themselves an even deeper hole at the foot of the Premier league.

;-) ;-)

[hallelujah]

It's an industrial floor waxer.

Get one of them on your hairy back and the Kommandant might even give you a shag!

[DrWilly]

I have a slack arse due to anal sex with my gardener

Honestly, Bendy, some things are best kept to yourself

[dirk diggler]

When I worked in South Korea the Geordies always requested as much Zithromax and Laarb powder as I was willing to carry.

I asked for Halloumi and Bovril cubes in return.

[Mendip]

^ Halloumi? Well posh.

What's wrong with a nice mature cheddar?


We were at Troll Alpha tonight.



If there was an offshore platform Top Trumps game, the Troll A card would be a real winner in many categories.



The concrete GBS structure sits in 300 metres water depth and was installed in 1996. Troll is a huge gas field and when someone in, say... Stoke for example, turns on their gas hob to fry up a steak, there's a very good chance that some of that gas came from Troll.

The Troll A Platform, at 472 metres tall, is the tallest structure ever to be moved by man.



Or another comparison. I reckon that must be the Eiffel Tower on the right but don't know about the building in the middle?



The tow out in 1995. I remember being involved with some of the route surveys for the initial phase pipelines that connect to Troll A.



We have a crew change near Bergen tomorrow, so instead of losing time to transit it was decided to survey a Troll cable back towards shore for a few hours. We have multiple projects active at any time and the powers that be save a few pipelines/cables in the work scope, routed to shore, for just such an occasion to maximise survey time and minimise down time. This contract has become way too efficient.

So, the survey ROV was launched and towards land we are headed, performing a high-speed survey on a Troll power cable.



And onward...



Even though I stay onboard tomorrow, the night shift before a big crew change is always a distracted one, since the off-going crew can't help but get excited and talk about going home.

I'm finding it hard to concentrate and ended up looking at my foot. It always amazes me how these offshore trips get recorded in my toe nails. I don't really know why I get this clean, white strip while on nightshift since I spend very little time in the sun at home. It's almost as if my nails get ingrained by Isaan dirt, which I find hard to believe since I wasn't doing a lot of gardening over the past few months. Maybe it's the humidity?

[DrWilly]

[cyrille]

[dirk diggler]

Can get cheddar anywhere, but you can’t compare cheddar with fried halloumi.

it looks like your job is going well. Another reason I should go to work in Norway.

We basically came out here with an old battered ROV, no spares or inventory, no PPE and limited tooling.

Yet somehow, we have pretty much rebuilt the whole system nonetheless.

On another note, I had noticed loads of wee red and black fly-like things around.

I’d even taken a couple of photos.





I forgot to look them up, but when I woke up this afternoon I noticed these signs all over the corridors.



Awesome.

[Mendip]

^ Yeah, you squat one of those on your skin and you know about it, a worse rash than one of my Isaan heat rashes! Stings like fukk as well.

Been there, done that.

No acid flies in Norway either.

[Shutree]

Awesome.

A remarkably positive word for such an evil looking beast.

[BLD]

Can get cheddar anywhere, but you can’t compare cheddar with fried halloumi.

it looks like your job is going well. Another reason I should go to work in Norway.

We basically came out here with an old battered ROV, no spares or inventory, no PPE and limited tooling.

Yet somehow, we have pretty much rebuilt the whole system nonetheless.

On another note, I had noticed loads of wee red and black fly-like things around.

I’d even taken a couple of photos.





I forgot to look them up, but when I woke up this afternoon I noticed these signs all over the corridors.



Awesome.

Oh wow and I thought the bloody flies in Oz were a nightmare but it seems this Nairobi bugger is certainly a worry. I had also never heard of fried Halloumi
Actually I didn't know wtf halloumi was..but a quick google told me all I needed to know. Now I've gotta get my ass down the shop to get some. Hope it pairs well with asahi

[BLD]

While we are off topic I will give you the skinny on what I know about Aussie flys. They love to gather in your eyes sometimes by the hundreds, when they are not doing that they will go up you're nostrils or ears yer gob or any orifice that takes there fancy. Fucking things they are. That's why Aussies in the country are all a bit mad. The flies are relentless. Has to be experienced to be believed

[hallelujah]

^ Yeah, you squat one of those on your skin and you know about it, a worse rash than one of my Isaan heat rashes! Stings like fukk as well.

Been there, done that.

No acid flies in Norway either.

Oh wow and I thought the bloody flies in Oz were a nightmare but it seems this Nairobi bugger is certainly a worry. I had also never heard of fried Halloumi
Actually I didn't know wtf halloumi was..but a quick google told me all I needed to know. Now I've gotta get my ass down the shop to get some. Hope it pairs well with asahi

You get something similar in Asia though as well, don't you?

Obviously not "Nairobi" fly, but I've been done by its cousin a couple of times.

It's a type of rove beetle- Rove beetle - Wikipedia

But it's only a few types that spunk their acid on you.

[BLD]

Strueth..well that explains a few things. Good news is dirk and mendy are highly unlikely to come across them offshore it's just us jungle dwellers

[BLD]

Fook rove beetles.

[Edmond]

Fook rove beetles.

And McManus!

[dirk diggler]

From Hal’s link there, looks like they are the same family.