Same shit, different ship

[armstrong]

What would be the output of a platform like that?

Oil, I expect. Maybe gas. Fuck knows tbh.

[Mendip]

^ Yes, oil and gas surprisingly enough. Well done Armstrong, although I can't help think that you were just guessing!

The Goliat produces around 110,000 barrels of oil a day which is stored on the FPSO and periodically taken off by tanker. The gas is currently re-injected to keep the pressure up for oil extraction. At some point I hope they decide to lay a gas export pipeline to the Melkøya gas terminal as that will create a nice bit of extra work.

We aren't working at Goliat just now because the field is operated by Vår Energi and we're working for Equinor, but this is how things look below the waves.

A bit of a coincidence that year long holiday you've just had and your big toenail that fell/ got grinded off

It certainly wasn't a holiday but I have just come off eight months straight in Isaan (apart from the occasional passport trip) and now that I'm out in the big wide world again I realise how far I have let my standards slip.

Tonight I was about to put my stegosaurus boxer shorts in my laundry bag when I realised that they are no longer fit for purpose, and did I really want the Filipina stewardesses seeing them when they do my washing?



Farewell old friend... you have served me well for many years.



They will already have been incinerated but luckily enough my Tyrannosaurus pair still have a few washes left in them. I'm hoping they will see out this trip.

Feeling a bit low I went for food... and it was almost as if the cook had read my mind.



The stuff dreams are made of.



Spicy chicken and pea soup for breakfast... it don't get better than that!

My first peas in over a week.

[DrWilly]

You need help.

[baldrick]

FPSO , help for wee willy - Floating Production Storage Offshore

[PAG]

Looks like Norwegian 'Karbonader burgers' in the right hand tray. An almost staple meal option I had whilst not in the field in Arctic Norway, and from recollection usually came with fried onions and mashed peas.

[Topper]

My first peas in over a week.

How did you survive?

[Mendip]

^ Please don't worry about me Topper, I'm used to such hardships.


^^ Yes, that's exactly what they are PAG. Not bad at all with a dollop of ketchup... and some peas of course.


Today we were doing a bit of close to shore work again and things didn't go quite to plan. The ROV umbilical became snagged in some subsea infrastructure and we needed help. Shallow water work is always difficult since the angles are all wrong for the acoustic positioning.



Rather him than me... it's bladdy freezing out there.



That's the pipetracker frame spoiling the picture. We fit this to the front of the ROV when surveying buried pipelines/cables. If we ever become snagged underwater when out at sea we have a second ROV to provide assistance. If a vessel only has one ROV you have the choice of cutting the umbilical or waiting for some kindly ROV vessel in the neighbourhood to come along and provide assistance.


Thirty years ago pretty much everyone smoked offshore, there was rarely a gym and many would enjoy a nip of whisky to get through the nightshift. Things have changed and now I would say the majority of crew use the gym, me included. This is a chance to undo eight months of unhealthy living in Isaan.

Every night at 10pm sees me starting in the gym. Tonight I caught the second half of Seville vs Man United while on the treadmill... and was lucky enough to see united's 3rd and 4th goals... here's Maquire about to head his goal home!



There's a prize draw for all gym goers every two weeks at crew changes. The company encourages this behaviour. I reckon I'm in with a chance this time.

[katie23]

Mendy, this thread is interesting & educational, and I like the pics of the food - both what you eat and what's available, but.... please spare us further pics of your underwear! I don't think that TD members need to see those, even if they've got stegosaurus or T-rex designs.

[DrWilly]

Thirty years ago pretty much everyone smoked offshore, there was rarely a gym and many would enjoy a nip of whisky to get through the nightshift. Things have changed and now I would say the majority of crew use the gym, me included. This is a chance to undo eight months of unhealthy living in Isaan.

Every night at 10pm sees me starting in the gym. Tonight I caught the second half of Seville vs Man United while on the treadmill... and was lucky enough to see united's 3rd and 4th goals... here's Maquire about to head his goal home!



There's a prize draw for all gym goers every two weeks at crew changes. The company encourages this behaviour. I reckon I'm in with a chance this time.

Are you not supposed to actually turn the tread mill on?

Be a darned cheat if you win for just standing on a teammill watching the footy!

even if they've got stegosaurus or T-rex designs.

A grown man with dinosaur underdacks!

[Mendip]

A grown man with dinosaur underdacks!

They're not easy to find but they're out there!


That's the work oop norf finished and we're finally heading back south.



Hopefully I won't be back up here again this year.



The views are nice I guess, but it's too cold for me.



Imagine living here... no thanks!

[david44]

Those meatballs look like what the Danes call Frikadeller a very tasty as high quality ingredients unlike the rendered gristle passed off here as ping pong meatball, I don't want to upset Mendy by saying they are teh dog's bollox but well worth a try and not hard tp make.

Frikadeller (Danish Meatballs) Recipe

[DrWilly]

Imagine living here... no thanks!

It'd be an indoor life, no doubt.

[Mendip]

^^ Thanks for the tip David, I'll try that when I get home.

Once a week on the boat the evening meal will be kjøttkaker, which are Norwegian meatballs served up with gravy, boiled potatoes and mushy peas. This is one of my favourite Norwegian meals and goes well with tyttebær sauce, which is the Norwegian version of lingonberry. In fact I usually purloin a pocket full of tyttebær sauce sachets to take home when I work on a Norwegian boat.

A couple of days ago we passed Tromsø which is where I flew in to ten days ago before catching another flight north to Hammerfest,

Tromsø on the right, some island on the left. The island is of course linked to the mainland by a bridge so that maybe 25 people and a couple of reindeer have easier access to the bright lights of the big city.



And Tromsø itself. I don't know why it's so well known as it looks as dreary as all other northern Norwegian towns. We have a girl geo trainee onboard who comes from Tromsø and she was telling us that in the spring they have a big problem with reindeer coming in and eating the tulips and daffodils from their gardens. I saw no signs of any reindeer but I think we're at least two months too early for any kind of spring in this part of the world.




Yesterday I was looking through the round window... or port hole as it of course should correctly be referred to.



During the voyage south, if I see something through my port hole worth going outside for I get off my arse and go up a few decks to take a picture. But to be honest, once you've seen one mountain you've seen them all.



A nice wind farm. Despite exporting gas all around Europe, Norway are very proud of their green credentials.



There was a spectacular Northern Lights display last night so I went up to the helideck to take some pics.

Everyone else with their fancy Iphones were taking fantastic pictures using some 'Night mode' they kept going on about. My Samsung was less impressive.



A colleague took pity and kindly shared these pictures with me.





I have since discovered that there is indeed a 'Night' option on my camera but of course there are no Northern Lights tonight so it's too late to try it out.

And yesterday we just kept on heading south...



The Seven Sisters at Sandnessjøen, famous in Norsk mythology.



And on we went. Depending on the weather we should soon be leaving the shelter of the islands and heading out to sea to our next destination, the Gullfaks Field, west of Bergen.

[DrWilly]

his is one of my favourite Norwegian meals and goes well with tyttebær sauce, which is the Norwegian version of lingonberry. In fact I usually purloin a pocket full of tyttebær sauce sachets to take home when I work on a Norwegian boat.

Could you just not buy a bottle?

There was a spectacular Northern Lights display last night so I went up to the helideck to take some pics.

Everyone else with their fancy Iphones were taking fantastic pictures using some 'Night mode' they kept going on about. My Samsung was less impressive.



A colleague took pity and kindly shared these pictures with me.

[katie23]

^ I chuckled at that too. I think every smartphone bought within the last 5 years has a night mode function for taking pics. Even my cheapo Huawei phone has it (bought in 2019).

But Mendy, thanks for the pics of the aurora borealis. They're lovely.

Btw, what's the nationality of the cook on your ship now? Filipino or not? I haven't seen fried eggs and SPAM for your breakfast spread. And have you oracticed your "salamat" (thank you) and "magandang umaga" (good morning) to the Filipina crew?

[DrWilly]

And have you oracticed your "salamat" (thank you) and "magandang umaga" (good morning) to the Filipina crew?

He has been suspiciously quiet about his Filipina crew this time around...

[Happy As Larry]

That's the work oop norf finished and we're finally heading back south.

Imagine living here... no thanks!

I shared an apartment with a guy at uni many years ago who has been living up in Vadso for quite some time now with his wife and kids.
He is not involved in oil & gas, nor the ocean in general
He loves it up there.

[Mendip]

^ I had to check Vadsø on the map Harry (you need a Norwegian keyboard to fully immerse yourself in this thread) and I see it's right up there. You should have given me an Isaan pressie to drop off for your friend... I often bring over dried chillis which are popular. Each to their own of course, but I couldn't live there... but I wouldn't say that with the God awful heat and humidity, unbearable traffic and lack of Westeren comforts that Korat is perfect either.

^ I chuckled at that too. I think every smartphone bought within the last 5 years has a night mode function for taking pics. Even my cheapo Huawei phone has it (bought in 2019).

Btw, what's the nationality of the cook on your ship now? Filipino or not? I haven't seen fried eggs and SPAM for your breakfast spread. And have you oracticed your "salamat" (thank you) and "magandang umaga" (good morning) to the Filipina crew?

I've found the 'Night' function now Katie, under 'Other'. There's a load of other stuff my camera can do that I had no idea about. I'm gonna try a panorama picture when it gets light.

Randy the night shift cook is Filipino, as are a couple of stewards and stewardess and several ABs. We also have two Filipino ROV trainees onboard at the moment. No SPAM as yet but I did try the beef stir fry tonight and discovered that the 'beef' was chopped up beefburgers, so that's a close second. I generally prefer the night shift food cooked by Randy to the bland Norwegian fare on offer during the day but he's restricted on how Asian he's allowed to make his food as the Norwegians don't generally take well to flavour.

Being a Brit I prefer to say the standard 'Thank you' and 'Good morning' in the Mother tongue but I will try 'salamat' out on the stewardess next time she does my laundry... she certainly deserves some extra effort.

He has been suspiciously quiet about his Filipina crew this time around...

Not a bit of it, I just don't want to repeat stuff from previous threads. And they're less than half my age and I don't want to come across as a pervy old man.

Could you just not buy a bottle?

I guess I could... but risk the airport being out of stock?

Besides, these little sachet things are perfect for one serving and don't take up much room in the fridge. The boat does a range of other spreads and jams, all perfect on toast to liven up an Isaan breakfast!

That Kaviar stuff goes really well on a hard boiled egg.





The wife took the daughter 'up country' for Songkran this year, leaving the gardener to take care of the dogs and chickens. I mean, 'up country' from Korat... the mind boggles. The daughter asked me how I always seem to be away at work for Songkran? It's just a coincidence I guess! So yet again I have missed out on the opportunity to go back to the stone age for three days, eat shite, sleep on the floor, get bitten to buggery by mossies and try to communicate with a bunch of drunken retards. Maybe next year...

The daughter hated it of course cos she had no internet, but that should do her good I guess. I have been worried about Lola left alone with the pack while the family are all away, but after returning home, the daughter sent me this last night.



This has made me very happy. I was expecting Lola to be banished to the garden for good after spending a few days outside but it seems the daughter has persuaded my wife to allow her back in the house. Lola is back sleeping on our bed and long may that last... I look forward to getting home!

It's not all good news though... I see from the photo that the window is closed which means that the daughter has sneaked the aircon on. I'll have words in the morning.

[VocalNeal]

In the Officer's Saloon we never had to serve ourselves

[malmomike77]

Yesterday I was looking through the round window... or port hole as it of course should correctly be referred to.

that's not a porthole you fibber

[malmomike77]

So yet again I have missed out on the opportunity to go back to the stone age for three days, eat shite, sleep on the floor, get bitten to buggery by mossies and try to communicate with a bunch of drunken retards

i didn't know Bultins had reopened in Scotland.

[aging one]

but I wouldn't say that with the God awful heat and humidity, unbearable traffic and lack of Westeren comforts that Korat is perfect either.

It's not all good news though... I see from the photo that the window is closed which means that the daughter has sneaked the aircon on. I'll have words in the morning.

Give her a break Mendy, it has simply gotten hotter and more humid each day you have been gone. Smart kid if you ask me. We have told our housekeeper she can use the guest suite with air conditioning its so bad.

[DrWilly]

Jeepers, let the kid use air con!

And they're less than half my age and I don't want to come across as a pervy old man.

too late for that now!

[katie23]

@mendy - I'm afraid you're right. If the Filipina stewardesses are in their 20s, they will see you as an oldie. You're about the same age range as their parents (sorry to say - but it's the truth). I have a millenial hike-friend (in her late 20s) whose dad is in the mid 50s. Still, I think she'll be surprised (and will appreciate it) if you say "salamat".

Tell Randy the cook "salamat" too, and maybe he'll fry some SPAM for you. Most Filipinos love SPAM bcos for them, it's posh. (1 kg of chicken is cheaper than a can of SPAM)

Btw, what is an "AB"? (in your remark about stewardesses and AB)

And what is that Stabburst Leverpostei(?) with yellow lid - is it liver spread?

[PAG]

@mendy - I'm afraid you're right. If the Filipina stewardesses are in their 20s, they will see you as an oldie. You're about the same age range as their parents (sorry to say - but it's the truth). I have a millenial hike-friend (in her late 20s) whose dad is in the mid 50s. Still, I think she'll be surprised (and will appreciate it) if you say "salamat".

Tell Randy the cook "salamat" too, and maybe he'll fry some SPAM for you. Most Filipinos love SPAM bcos for them, it's posh. (1 kg of chicken is cheaper than a can of SPAM)

Btw, what is an "AB"? (in your remark about stewardesses and AB)

And what is that Stabburst Leverpostei(?) with yellow lid - is it liver spread?

An 'AB' is an able seaman Katie (essentially a deck hand).