Thread: Smeg Vs. DJ Pat...who's more credible?

I used to like you more when you had that avatar of the bloke in the leotard walking home with his shopping

Who?

Smeg is well known for owning a BMW Y-registration 316 with wind down windows

Give it a rest

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Smeg Vs. DJ Pat...who's more credible?

This is a forum, not a blog...

Is this a lovers tiff?

Funny as fuck, Pat To hell with the naysayers!

Would do you mean "more"? Is there any credibility for both of you?

The love affair is definitely over since Pat started shagging his sister.

^

DJ Pat: Cousin! Not sister!
Gerbil: Same same, but different.

And the credibility debate continues:

Tolerance of fellow expats:

In this category, Pat wins hands down, as he is more than happy to mingle at ajarn and teakdoor gatherings, meet up with other posters and generally shoot the shit with his fellow men. Less of a critic than Smeg, Pat is understandable to the circumstances of certain ajarns struggling to make ends meet in Thailand and is also known to give out the occasional loan.
Smeg, quite simply, has no friends. He alienates people he meets who are enjoying the Thai way of life and anyone who dares to think differently are put down, unless of course they are from Bournemouth.

Winner: Pat.

Thai-ophilia:

Smeg invented the word 'Thai-ophile', meaning anyone who enjoys the locals, eats Thai food and no longer lives in their country of birth are failures in their homeland and have escaped it. Harsh as this judgement is, it is often the truth and remains a sore point over on ajarn.com where he and his cronies are barred.
Pat has a lighter hearted approach to this subject and will tolerate such people to an extent. Because of his origin he can see through most 'Thai-ophiles' faster than Smeg and thus can choose to avoid confrontation and make less enemies.

Winner: Pat

Fitting in back in the UK:

Pat has found several forms of employment as a DJ and had the fortune of claiming welfare for a short time. Smeg despises welfare claimaints, and brands them as failures of the system but would claim at the drop of a hat. This is double standards. Smeg found a job as a used car salesman but lost it after filling in a dent with mud, with an angry customer returning a week later with grass growing from the paintwork.
He is now toiling as a door to door insurance salesman, giving the hard sell approach to any one who will open their front doors. The truth is, his BMW isn't hard to spot, and many will barracade themselves in upon his car being seen turning into the street.

Winner: Pat

Holidays and leisure:

This is where Smeg rises like a phoenix from the flames. He has recently escaped a British winter by jetting off to......Thailand! And he hates the place, allegedly. Sipping cocktails by the pool at the Millenium Hilton by the banks of the Chaophya River, Smeg was swamped by offers of a return to employment in the Land of Smiles by several executives who were attending a sales convention at the same hotel. Smeg laughed them off and stated that he had no intention of living the lifestyle he once did, preferring to sell insurance, hang around Filipino nursing homes and use the facilities at his local leisure centre.
Pat has taken four holidays in the last 6 months, Paris, Bangkok, Cologne, and Muenster. But his choice of slumming it on cheap flights and getting trashed at two star hotels with European girls puts him in the second division. Leisure wise, Pat lives by the beach in England and regularly swims in the sea, which is free.

Winner: Smeg

Chances of being gay:

It is a myth that Smeg tried it on with Pat at a recent meeting in Siam Square, where they both were reduced to urinating in public (not a lot of people know this). On one occasion, Smeg allegedly attempted to grab Pats penis whilst he was relieving himself. CCTV footage proved inconclusive.
Pat is well known for liking sodomy and anal sex but it is a well known fact that he has never recieved any objects up his back passage due to a phobia. Pat did once engage in sexual relations with a post-op katoey but it was for research purposes so doesn't count as an intentional pursuit.
It's a rumour at ajarn.com that Smeg did bombard Bangkok Phil with text messages of the homo-erotic nature but Phil, being barely educated to high school level and from Birmingham, was unable to read them.

Winner: Smeg (due to his inexperience of anal sex)

Tolerance of Thai people:

Pat calls many of them 'peasants' when it suits him but forgets his own roots. His family from the Thai side were street sweepers in Isarn and his father was a newspaper salesman outside Kings Cross station in London. Pat looks down on most Thais who he disagrees with and hates the middle classes in Bangkok, claiming they all earn a pittance.
Smeg is the darling of Bangkok's networking executive community. Always on the social pages of the Big Chilli magazine, he is in demand as a consultant on Thai lifestyle. But these same 'executives' ridicule him behind his back. But as the saying goes, keeping up appearances is the done thing.

Winner: Smeg

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Pat is well known for liking sodomy and anal sex and it is a well known fact that he recieves any object up his back passage. Pat did once engage in sexual relations with a pre-op katoey but it was for research purposes so doesn't count as an intentional pursuit.

Tell us something new....

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

after filling in a dent with mud, with an angry customer returning a week later with grass growing from the paintwork.

Minder, that one's a classic eh Pat

Pat, do you really think anyone here gives a fuck about who between you and Smeg is the less miserable ?

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

and is well known for murdering three girlfriends in the past. But, due to his prowness as a ladykiller (pardon the pun), he also bedded a high flying Thai lawyer who got him off all charges.

Can you tell us the story that goes with this?

Originally Posted by jizzybloke

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

after filling in a dent with mud, with an angry customer returning a week later with grass growing from the paintwork.

Minder, that one's a classic eh Pat

Yep....an absolute classic which featured a young Ray Winstone!

You've rumbled me there!

Originally Posted by wefearourdespot

Pat, do you really think anyone here gives a fuck about who between you and Smeg is the less miserable ?

You obviously took the time to peruse this thread so you do give a shit.

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

and is well known for murdering three girlfriends in the past. But, due to his prowness as a ladykiller (pardon the pun), he also bedded a high flying Thai lawyer who got him off all charges.

Can you tell us the story that goes with this?

All in good time, my next thread in fact. Watch this space.

I like it when DJ Pat talks dirty.

Why does Smeg comment on another brilliant fresh morning in Bourners when the BBC says it has been 2 oc and sheet rain for a fortnight....

Smeg is well known for owning a BMW Y-registration 316 with wind down windows

I seem to recall Smeg sporting around in a Honda Jazz when he was here. Does anyone remember if that was the case?

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Smeg's postings and body language in person swing toward the term ''silver spoon'' or ''rich parents'',

Now that's fvcking gay mate.

I am starting to wonder whether it was you eying off that Katoey in Onnut Beer Garden or visa-versa!