Thread: We're doomed #2,659,781

It's too fucking funny to put in speakers.

Dear oh dear.

Hilarious.



Any chance of you spending another couple of weeks in Hua Hin?

That is just one of many conspiracy theories circulating about the solar elipse.


Solar Eclipse Sparks Wild Conspiracy Theories

Social media has become awash with conspiracy theories over the upcoming total solar eclipse that will affect millions of Americans next month.


A total eclipse will be experienced in 13 states on April 8 — a rare astronomical event in which the skies briefly turn dark during daylight hours. Such events take place when the moon passes between the sun and the earth, completely blocking the face of the sun.

But despite the perfectly reasonable scientific explanation for why the eclipse is happening, it hasn't stopped conspiracy theorists from drumming up wild theories about the forthcoming astronomical event.


Known conspiracy theorist Alex Jones posted a nearly eight-minute long video on X, formerly Twitter, which claimed that the eclipse is a sign from God and that the Department of Homeland Security is preparing to "hijack" the so-called "biblical event." It gives no reason for why Homeland Security would do that.

According to the clip, which was also posted on his widely discredited website, InfoWars, the eclipse will pass over "eight U.S. cities named Nineveh." However, only two of the eight places named Nineveh in the U.S, namely Nivenah, Indiana, and Nineveh, Ohio, will experience the total solar eclipse on April 8.


InfoWars also claimed the upcoming eclipse has "similarities to the Bur-Sagale eclipse or Assyrian eclipse during the time when Jonah approached Nineveh and urged the Assyrian people to repent." It doesn't offer any further explanation about the connection.


Newsweek contacted InfoWars for comment via email.

X users have also speculated, without evidence, regarding alternative meanings for the solar eclipse. One X user, posting under the name Alex1575, wrote: "In my opinion, I think April eclipse is the catalyst, yes, for a HUGE earthquake at the New Madrid fault line or intersection of the 3 eclipses."


The conspiracy theory relates to a series of earthquakes in the Mississippi Valley along the New Madrid fault line, also known as New Madrid Seismic Zone, that occurred several months after a solar eclipse that crossed America in 1811. There is no scientific evidence to suggest the eclipse caused the earthquakes.

Other theories that engage in a wholesale rejection of science have also gained traction online. Another X user, posting under the name Sarah, wrote: "The blue line is the path of totality which happens to be the same as the line of storms that just came through the Midwest?"


The post appears to refer to the recent storms and tornados that struck Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky over the weekend. While it is known that eclipses can sometimes result in temporary and minor changes in the wind and temperature, these only occur during the event and aren't related to weather events in the months before a solar eclipse.

Solar Eclipse Sparks Wild Conspiracy Theories

I predict it will just get darker in snubbles' basement

And we all know what that will cause

A new Katie or Kitt karaoke hit.

I see that some other conspiricy theorists are saying Trump will win the next pres election.

Lazada out of tin foil hats, so Kitchen foil Origami for Johnny and funnily.



for clan nights,



no one luffed behind

Originally Posted by cyrille

Hilarious.



Any chance of you spending another couple of weeks in Hua Hin?

Poor old sybille, all that smoke been getting to you, misery guts?

Originally Posted by baldrick

And we all know what that will cause

Increased wanking?

Originally Posted by baldrick

I predict it will just get darker in snubbles' basement

And we all know what that will cause

Originally Posted by bsnub

Increased wanking?

Funny that you'd suggest that, I guess that's as close we can get to a confession.

He might of been referring to you or other posters?

Originally Posted by BLD

He might of been referring to you or other posters?

Wanking in Snub's basement ????????

You're tired

Good Night

Originally Posted by baldrick

I predict it will just get darker in snubbles' basement

And we all know what that will cause

Originally Posted by bsnub

Increased wanking?

Originally Posted by baldrick

I predict it will just get darker in snubbles' basement

And we all know what that will cause

Less photosynthesis?

Originally Posted by Norton

A new Katie or Kitt karaoke hit.

That made me think of this

You really do like u toob Katie. You know you could probably have built those flats yourself with the time you've wasted watching crap like that, vloggers and influencers

Originally Posted by PlanK

Originally Posted by baldrick
I predict it will just get darker in snubbles' basement

And we all know what that will cause

Less photosynthesis?

Fungus won't care

Originally Posted by helge

Fungus won't care

is she yer Bogeyman?

Originally Posted by PlanK

Less photosynthesis?

It seems he is have no problems producing nuts

Will leave it to chitty to comment on the fat content of the nuts

Originally Posted by baldrick

Will leave it to chitty to comment

"I am the nut allergy knocking at the door "

^ More Chris de Burgh than Heisenberg.

Psst, you got any of that blue stuff?