Thread: Russel Brand

Originally Posted by Iceman123

Oh ffs, it’s little wonder you are stuck penniless in the world’s cesspit if that is a list of your career highlights.

Oh, you want to hear about my exploits when I spent five years in the LE, climbed Kilimanjaro bollock naked, swam the Channel, won and lost a fortune in Vegas, and sailed the Atlantic?

You silly little gormless, anal wart encrusted, Antipodean twat.

Originally Posted by cyrille

Most unimpressive 'boast' e-v-e-r.

Christ, Dorothy, you even write like a poof, you mincing little queen.

Keep digging.

Russel Brand is an insufferable throbber. Just like Sausages and Cyrille, he is the z list celebrity of a minor source of limited comedic value.

They deserve all the approbation they get. Strange how they all end up in ‘Banal Banter’, exactly where they all belong.

Originally Posted by Switch

They deserve all the approbation they get. Strange how they all end up in ‘Banal Banter’, exactly where they all belong.

And here you are too.

You dense twat.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Well, in my career I have worked with, to name a few, Sir Michael Havers, advised Sir David Normington, dined with a Director of Public Prosecutions and briefed the odd minister. Can’t recall office stationery being mentioned at any stage though.

comedy gold. you make david brent look like a high flyer.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Oh, you want to hear about my exploits when I spent five years in the LE, climbed Kilimanjaro bollock naked, swam the Channel, won and lost a fortune in Vegas, and sailed the Atlantic?

You silly little gormless, anal wart encrusted, Antipodean twat.

Oh go on then, did you have a dalliance with Anne Bancroft in the 60s when she bought some gear off you?

Tax’s Diary entry 15 April 1987:

” I can’t believe it, the high point of my career! I had an emergency appointment referred to me t’other day, a tricky premolar that had impacted but I’m at the top of my game these days. I assumed he would be simply another fee paying decent white chap who knew which end to bowl from and who thought Yorkshire should be designated a patriarchy and independent of poofy England - my sort of pal in fact and mainstay of our masonic lodge. Well blow me! Guess who arrived! I nearly came in my Y-fronts! eebaagumm ( which is Mugabe backwards …har, har ) it was none other than my fookin’ idol Geoffrey fookin’ Boycott.
“Ehsoopthabastard, you’re naw goin ta hurt me is tha, cuz if tha does it’ll be last fookin’ time you’ll gissyoursel a tug fir a fookin’ month, you poncing twat.”
God that man has a silver tongue. I got Gladys to hold his hand the whole time he was in the chair but it got a bit tricky when he kept getting her to stroke his old chap, the dirty dog. I squared her away with some extra diazapam she sells to her mates down the working men’s club. Still, it was a red letter day for me, alright. And he’s got a fookin’ brilliant uvula. I don’t know why but they arouse me all the time and his really got me going. Had the best Jodrell for yonks thinking on it.
Aye, it doesn’t get much better when you can poke about in the gobs of kings. Haven’t felt so chuffed since I stiffed the NH fookin’ S for a grand last year treating that bunch of Pakis. Ah fook it, it’s a grand life if you don’t weaken.”

Har, har.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

As I said before, Brand is being Weinsteined.

First you have the background babble, the whispers and gossip, then you have the media investigation whipping up interest to the degree that institutions are compelled to react to the mob and the police are now teed up to investigate alleged historical offences surrounding accusations made by complainants who universally have kept silent because they were too ‘ confused ‘, too ‘traumatised’ or too ‘ashamed’ to report them at the time the crime was commissioned.

He’s toast.

The point is, irrespective of the man’s politics, the process under way limits potential for a fair trial.

Absolutely. The trial takes place on social media and in the press and the accused is guilty already.

He is a massive pile of shit. Good ridance.

Originally Posted by hallelujah

Absolutely. The trial takes place on social media and in the press and the accused is guilty already.

That's why we have an appeals process.

Duh.

Personally, I was shocked at the news about Russel Brand. I had no idea he was a comedian.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Tax’s Diary entry 15 April 1987:

” I can’t believe it, the high point of my career! I had an emergency appointment referred to me t’other day, a tricky premolar that had impacted but I’m at the top of my game these days. I assumed he would be simply another fee paying decent white chap who knew which end to bowl from and who thought Yorkshire should be designated a patriarchy and independent of poofy England - my sort of pal in fact and mainstay of our masonic lodge. Well blow me! Guess who arrived! I nearly came in my Y-fronts! eebaagumm ( which is Mugabe backwards …har, har ) it was none other than my fookin’ idol Geoffrey fookin’ Boycott.
“Ehsoopthabastard, you’re naw goin ta hurt me is tha, cuz if tha does it’ll be last fookin’ time you’ll gissyoursel a tug fir a fookin’ month, you poncing twat.”
God that man has a silver tongue. I got Gladys to hold his hand the whole time he was in the chair but it got a bit tricky when he kept getting her to stroke his old chap, the dirty dog. I squared her away with some extra diazapam she sells to her mates down the working men’s club. Still, it was a red letter day for me, alright. And he’s got a fookin’ brilliant uvula. I don’t know why but they arouse me all the time and his really got me going. Had the best Jodrell for yonks thinking on it.
Aye, it doesn’t get much better when you can poke about in the gobs of kings. Haven’t felt so chuffed since I stiffed the NH fookin’ S for a grand last year treating that bunch of Pakis. Ah fook it, it’s a grand life if you don’t weaken.”

Har, har.

I would have thought that by now there would be some signs of improvement after the debilitating cerebral infarction you recently suffered. I trust you are receiving adequate care.

Originally Posted by bsnub

He is a massive pile of shit. Good riddance.

Absolutely.

Apparently Russel wants his arm back.

Civil servants simply ensure that this is achieved as efficiently and effectively within budgets allocated to them by the Treasury.

I know its boring but I'll wait for the evidence proven in court. I know that's an outdated old fashioned view but there you have it.

I really loved him in Blade Runner, Morbius and American Psycho

Originally Posted by YourDaddy

I really loved him in Blade Runner, Morbius and American Psycho

Has he been in Serbian/ Canadian psycho? Or was that you. Hard to keep up

Originally Posted by BLD

Has he been in Serbian/ Canadian psycho? Or was that you. Hard to keep up

Honing your gags must be time consuming.

Replying to monotonous trolls sure is. Hard to work out who's the biggest twat? You or the your daddy guy. Feel free tp Post up some more of your gags Cybil.i suspect the only thing you gag on is Cock