Thread: A Dogging Day Afternoon

I thought Joe had a dogging thread somewhere but I could not find it.

If it exists then please feel free to chuck this doggerel in there.

After my novice 3rd base dogging adventure last weekend with the Cebu Sorceress I had another picnic lined up this weekend with a lovely lady from Zimbabwe.

I am actually not an exhibitionist in any way shape or form and am quite the retiring wallflower in reality so dogging was the last thing on my mind.

However Miss Harare was about to change all that...

Here I sat in my chaste-white clown-shoe innocence, awaiting her arrival, unawares of the fate that was about to befall me...

She got caught in traffic so I watched the ducks doing their thing.

She arrived with only 90 minutes daylight remaining which did not seem long enough to strike up a rapport, to my mind. But the convo progressed apace and we found ourselves laughing heartily in each others company.

As dusk fell it was like an action replay of last week. 1st, 2nd and 3rd base fell quicker than Australia's middle order at the Oval and the stars were out by the time we had caught our breath.

But this picnic partner was adamant that she was not coming to my house on a first date as that is not the done thing for a lady...

In my straw-clutching amorous attempt to get to home-base I instead suggested repairing to the public toilets... and to my amazement she agreed.

So the deed was sealed on a large towel on the cold hard tiles of the gents (she wanted to use the ladies but I felt I bit risky venturing in there)

But we were not done. The dogging reached the next level as we had a farewell cuddle by the car in the dark. The groping heat got turned up again and we ended up piling into the back of my car. I rolled the seats forward to make more room and it was still a squash...

But 14 years after I bought her, Teh Jesus Jaag was finally truly christened

Business concluded I escorted her back to her car

Her holy headlights bathed teh venerable Jaag in a harsh unflattering light revealing the dents of outrageous fortune over the years

Play Ground indeed...

I arrived back at the forest shortly after, dazed but still alive, to clear the soggy tissues out of the passenger footwell

Praise Be Unto The Lord

Come on Joe, hit us with your hot gossip about this Viking Vixxen you have got in your foxhole...

Originally Posted by Looper

She arrived with only 90 minutes daylight remaining which did not seem long enough to strike up a rapport, to my mind. But the convo progressed apace and we found ourselves laughing heartily in each others company.

Considerate of her to wear the white trainers so you know which end you are dealing with

Stumpy will be apoplectic.

Come on Joe, hit us with your hot gossip about this Viking Vixxen you have got in your foxhole

...

Seconded.

Isn't dogging when you do it in a car and other people can watch?

Where I'm from , dogging is a refence to doggy style or raw dogging (no condom)

You are a bad man, Looper; a very very bad man.

Green owed.
(Or, should that be red?)

Well done Looper. At least Ms Zimbabwe can cross, ‘bonking in a Jaguar’ off her bucket list.

.Looper, you should ask her next time she gets a bit frisky has she done the deed in a G Taxi in Harare.
With that gigantic container of lube in the back of the Jag you should have no problems
finding her G spot,It will make her homesick and you will be in it like Flynn

Originally Posted by PAG

Fucking hell looper, your a walking hard on

looper the koala - eats roots, shoots and leaves.

Well done Looper, top effort

The ebony princesses have a bit in common with the country girls . They don't need silk sheets

Originally Posted by BLD

Fucking hell looper, your a walking hard on

After striking out on every wicket since 2022 I was a bit Lao!

Women are like buses. You wait for countless months on end and then 3 come along at once.

Originally Posted by reddog

With that gigantic container of lube in the back of the Jag

Lol!

That is Jasmines juice for her coolant leak which I have not got round to fixing in 6 years.

If it is only a tiny drip it is not really worth fixing is it?

I have only gone through 2x5 litre jugs of premix since she started widdling on the floor of the garage in 2017

Cats are well known for doing that anyway

Originally Posted by Looper

If it is only a tiny drip it is not really worth fixing is it?

Your urologist should be able to advise you better . . .