It's National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month - have you been checked?

[harrybarracuda]

How many of you knew it was Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month?

This is the time when, if you're over 45, you should be getting tested.

The test is pretty routine:

They give you a thing akin to a sherbet dip, only there's no sherbet and you probably don't want to lick it after you've dipped it (Skidmark).

Basically it means dropping a chocolate Graf Spee onto a kitchen towel or something, and rubbing the "dipper" on said richard the third (or in among whatever you have decided to excrete at that time) and putting it back into the container. (And yes, skidmark, then you throw the faecal matter in the toilet and flush it).

This tiny sample kit is usually bagged up and/or put in an envelope and returned to wherever they tell you, clearly labelled with whatever details they have asked you to give. A test is done for the presence of blood, and if it's negative then that's good. If it's positive, it doesn't mean it's bad, there are other reasons why that might be the case, but you'll probably need further testing to find out.

If you haven't done it, don't be a twat: 90% of stage one colorectal cancers are easily treatable. For stage four, less than one in ten survive longer than a few years.

Around 1 in 20 people will develop colorectal cancer during their lives, so this is not a risk you should ignore. Also, the numbers are not significantly different between men and women.

So don't piss about, talk to your doctor or local hospital, and get tested.

I would like you all to be alive to torment for years to come.

Here endeth the lecture.

[tomcat]

...please list the joys of a colonoscopy: some need more than a stool kit for a good time...

[taxexile]

those sherbet dip tests get sent every 2 years to everyone in the uk over 60.

i did mine last month and was happy to get the all clear.

in the uk they now use the FIT test.

Bowel cancer screening reduces bowel cancer mortality. Since bowel cancer screening began in the UK, it has made use of a certain type of faecal occult blood test - a guaiac-based test (gFOBT). Now, the guaiac test is being replaced by a Faecal Immunochemical Test (FIT) test.

The Faecal Immunochemical Test (FIT) uses antibodies that specifically recognise human haemoglobin (Hb). It means that a FIT result is not influenced by the presence of other blood in stools, such as that ingested through diet, compared to the guaiac Faecal Occult Blood Test (gFOBT), therefore reducing the chance of false positive results.

It is used to detect and can quantify the amount of human blood in a single stool sample. A positive FIT result suggests that there may be bleeding within the gastrointestinal tract that requires further investigation. Those with a positive result are then invited for further testing, normally colonoscopy.

[bsnub]

Fuck me. I am lit but are we going to let klongnitwit and the dunces take over the forum??

[bsnub]

those sherbet dip tests get sent every 2 years to everyone in the uk over 60.

Thank the gods that tax is up

[harrybarracuda]

...please list the joys of a colonoscopy: some need more than a stool kit for a good time...

Should you require a colonoscopy (which is infinitely preferable to a slow and painful death), the worst bit of it is the shit you have to drink to clear the pipes.

[bsnub]

Stop being a dick

[harrybarracuda]

Stop being a dick

Snubby are you drunk again?

[Simon43]

Is it legal to send poo through the post?

[sabang]

Finally did mine a couple of weeks ago, all clear.

[beerlaodrinker]

Same in oz. You take a #2 stick a bit in the jar and post it back to them. My blurter was as new.

[baldrick]

Basically it means dropping a chocolate Graf Spee onto a kitchen towel or something, and rubbing the "dipper" on said richard the third

easier to just take a sample off the sh1tpaper after you wipe your arse

Is it legal to send poo through the post?

literal sh1tposting