The All New Good Morning / Evening thread

[njdesi]

I wish I could pop into a ST bar about now. Two month dry spell with the ladies. To cure my lack of sex life, I started running again. Dropped 4kg and ran my first 5K race in two years. Felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I finished in a crappy 26 minutes. Four minutes slower than my usual time. Even had a 50 something year old man out-sprint me in the last 200 meters.

[MeMock]

Good on ya desi - I dont think I could get to 3kms without stopping.

[njdesi]

^
Looking at your pic, your haircut isn't very aerodynamic.

It is different than trying to run 5km on your own. When you are surrounded by other people, you naturally don't want to look like a fool so you try your best. There were these two fit girls running in front of me that I didn't pass until the 3km mark. I was gasping for breath most the way, so I think these gals were kind of unnerved by this strange Indian dude panting heavily behind them (and occassionally being hypnotized by their tight butts) and ran faster than they normally would.

[MeMock]

I hope that is the case as I have never run in a race before - only ever by myself.

As for the aerodynamics of that hair cut - your right that would slow her down.......oh and plus the fact she can't walk

[Goddess of Whatever]

It's Saturday and it's so boring. I was going to go to Chatuchak market then my friend just sent me SMS and said she will go with me but at 4:30.

I have to stay here a few hours then.. alright, it's better to go there alone.

I should take a kip, maybe we will go out tonight.

[Dougal]

I should take a kip,

'a kip'? Where have you been learning this appalling English? You should say that you are going to have 'forty winks'.

[danbo]

was gasping for breath most the way, so I think these gals were kind of unnerved by this strange Indian dude panting heavily behind them (and occassionally being hypnotized by their tight butts) and ran faster than they normally would.

Were they in the race or just going down the shops when you freaked them out?

Bank holiday weekend in the UK. I should be posting some real nonsense by Monday - I've used up all my good thread ideas and it's only Saturday morning. I suppose that I should really go out and do something that enriches my life-experience....Might go to Tescos later and look at the cheese.

[Goddess of Whatever]

I should take a kip,

'a kip'? Where have you been learning this appalling English? You should say that you are going to have 'forty winks'.

Honestly, I just lernt from you guys and I have been learning for ages.





Anyway, it's time to leave to Chatuchak market and somewhere else.

Laters, mate!

[danbo]

No work (no pay) tomorrow I'd go busking if I had any artistic talent with which to snare passers-by.....I used to be a pavement artist, but these days people don't want paintings of pavements....Once I was a storey teller, I'd stand on stairwells and say this is the fifth floor....Tonight I will read....fare ye well......

[ChiangMai noon]

Thai women should not be allowed to drive.
Fact.
They can't.

Some dumb fuck thai woman just drove straight into the back of my motorcycle.
i was slowing down, left indicator on, pulling in to buy some cigarettes and this stupid no eyes bint drives straight into the back of me. Now this road is at least wide enough for 3 cars and she asks me why I was stopping.

"To buy some fukking cigarettes, you no eyed wench, Why, do you want one...I know exactly where i'd like to shove it"

I've just been escorted home by my wife ( who mwas on another bike) owing to being very abusive and demonstrating behaviour and language unbecoming to Thailand..

Bike is fucked, needed some new bodywork anyway, leaking oil, broken rear light, minus the right side mirror.
I hope my darling doesn't fok up the negotiation process, I'm estimating 8,000 baht at least.

[kingwilly]

no good mate - a buddy of mine had a similar problem - tho cos he was in the middle of the road (stopping due to congested traffic) when this ajarn professor bint hit him in her mercedes he ahd to pay her money!

[ChiangMai noon]

^
In fairness, she didn't want me to call the police, she said she would pay for the repairs, but I want her to pay for an all new body work job, not just the bits she fucked up. I'm guessing it can be put back in it's previous state for around 3,000.

[Lady Hawk]

expensive packet of cigs then

[danbo]

I do believe that this is my favourite thread....ever. I like the way that there are no constraints - none of that 'off topic' doo-dah. Lemons in hats, monkeys on stilts, eating carpet, cleaning your windows with soup - all welcome. That said, I mainly post about the weather, that's because I'm British and people say that if the British aren't talking about the weather or football we have nothing to say....Just to prove the cliche wrong I won't talk about the weather......World Cup starts soon, looking forward to that.....hope it doesn't rain - damn!

[MeMock]

I am under the weather with a cold. The weather here has just turned into its annual 2 weeks freeze ya nuts off weather. Last night it got down to 13 degrees and today will only get to 28. Wonderful stuff.

Today is our wedding anniversary. Now I know that my wife will forget this as she has every year but I have madea pact with myself to never forget it. We had a 5 tiered wedding pizza as our wedding cake so every year I like to do something around a pizza meal. So at lunch time at work I'm gonna cook a pizza then come home and pick her up and take her down the lake for a pizza picnic.

[Marmite the Dog]

The weather here has just turned into its annual 2 weeks freeze ya nuts off weather. Last night it got down to 13 degrees and today will only get to 28.

Don't forget to wrap up warm.

Today is our wedding anniversary.

Say congrats to the missus for putting up with you for the last 3 (?) years.

[danbo]

Unusual time for me to be posting this. I woke up at 04:30 and couldn't get back to sleep.....I hate when that happens, especially on a work day.....Nothing worse than arguing with yourself, 'Look you stupid idiot you've got to get up in two hours - go to sleep!'.....'No, I don't want to'....Today it's not so bad; I'll just carry on here until I feel sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

[MeMock]

The weather here has just turned into its annual 2 weeks freeze ya nuts off weather. Last night it got down to 13 degrees and today will only get to 28.

Don't forget to wrap up warm.

Today is our wedding anniversary.

Say congrats to the missus for putting up with you for the last 3 (?) years.

Will pass on your best wishes.

The picnic was a success - even if the first pizza cooked ended up on the floor, and yes we did rug ip - I even wore a long sleeved shirt to go with my shorts and thongs.

[Marmite the Dog]

I even wore a long sleeved shirt to go with my shorts and thongs.

Fark! It must be freezing!

[danbo]

Well, I fell off of the wagon quite spectacularly last night....Feel a bit woozy today.....everything appears to be running in slow motion....as if I'm underwater....wearing this snorkel isn't helping none.

[Goddess of Whatever]

I didn't know what happened to me. Yesterday I slept around 6 in the evening then woke up for a cuppa tea at 9 then back to sleep again and woke up at midnight for shower then slept again and woke up around 7 then back to bed again and woke up at noon for brunch. Yes, I'm tired again now. My friend said she knew what I was.. "lazy" she said.

[Eliminator]

It's either that you are lazy or just hung over.

[Marmite the Dog]

Today I am posting my 6,000th post.

And this is it!!

Ho hum....

[danbo]

17.19 posts a day marmers - I can't speak for other posters but I really look forward to that 0.19 of a post everyday......I can take or leave the other 17 if the truth be known.....

[danbo]

This thread has been rather quiet this week.....

This was on the BBC site yesterday - Spike (Milligan) 'wrote world's best joke'

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

This got me to thinking: Where do jokes come from? Who actually sits down and writes a joke that then spreads through re-telling? And then I got to thinknig about what makes a joke funny - why did the joke above make me laugh? What is humour? I intend to devote my day to investigating these questions (watching football excepted) and I will report back on my findings.