Show us your impulse buy

**Simon43** · 03-04-2023, 12:19 AM

Yes...

2012, in a girlie bar in downtown Yangon

I'm watching the girls dancing

A sad man leans over to me and says "I like Longmans'

I eye him with suspicion

He continues "Longmans, very nice dik"

... well, it was funny when I wrote it in 2012!

**Seekingasylum** · 03-04-2023, 12:31 AM

ThereÂ’s something so unutterably sleazy about Simon. Old men acting out their goatish prurience is really quite repellent.

**malmomike77** · 03-04-2023, 12:45 AM

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

ThereÂ’s something so unutterably sleazy about Simon. Old men acting out their goatish prurience is really quite repellent.

nope. he's a laugh, you just chose to interpret him that way - he has devoted considerable time, expense and effort to educating kid less fortunate than you. The fact he's a bit unusual ain't a problem, he has more talent and is more interesting than you'll ever be, is that why you have finally chosen to pipe up you boring pikey cvnt

**Simon43** · 03-04-2023, 01:06 AM

^^^ Yep, you understand my style of writing.

Seekingasylum is so thick that he cannot recognise humour and fiction. I wrote that article in 2012 and it was intended to be entertaining and light-hearted. It is absolutely not an expression of my own true feelings. However, it does require the reader to have an IQ of at least 60 to recognise this fact.

**malmomike77** · 03-04-2023, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by Simon43

it does require the reader to have an IQ of at least 60 to recognise this fact.

he and many on here aspire to the 90s in IQ, they are either fukin boring miks, pikeys and aussies - usually under-educated or just fukin lacking a sense of humour

edit

or genes

**Joe 90** · 03-04-2023, 05:06 AM

Bought some silver rim blades for my motor to cover up a few kerbing scuffs left by the previous owners..

Show us your impulse buy-screenshot_20230402_230255_chrome-jpg

Booyakasha..

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**david44** · 03-04-2023, 05:28 AM

Originally Posted by Simon43

He continues "Longmans, very nice dik"

Some swear by Collinslinguists, I'm more of an Oxford Con Slice since Roge'd

Good luck Duden and remumble Candy's Dandy but Lick here's quicker.

Worry not about derision from slum seekers who cannot find their way out a of paper bag let alone the sleaziest place on earth. Clearly marked Exit may be Ausfahrt to some on a Sortie, take me to Salida but to those who weren't in on the Candy Timeshare Club he's just another unrequited pumper tossed off on his travels by the dwarf doormen of bliss.

Show us your impulse buy-9896a45071ed45a44491bc8c303b6e30-jpg

Show us your impulse buy-9896a45071ed45a44491bc8c303b6e30-jpg

**Looper** · 07-04-2023, 01:38 AM

^^^^^You need to get on the bonnet with these memoirs Simon.

They deserve publishing

Getting ready for the coming chinko invasion I kitted myself out with a regulation ADF shirt and slouch hat

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Show us your impulse buy-20230406_215650-jpg

And a pair of hi-shine ADF parade boots

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Ready to step up when duty calls

**malmomike77** · 07-04-2023, 01:41 AM

Originally Posted by Looper

Getting ready for the coming chinko invasion

you can't say that, you'll upset that fat fuk plastic Aussie high rise coont

**Bogon** · 07-04-2023, 05:27 AM

Looking good Looper.

**Looper** · 07-04-2023, 10:44 AM

^I is not a la-dee-dah poofta bombardier

(Well maybe on Sundays)

**VocalNeal** · 07-04-2023, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Looper

Getting ready for the coming chinko invasion I kitted myself out with a regulation ADF shirt and slouch hat

This is the one you need. Guaranteed to shorten any queue

**Looper** · 10-04-2023, 11:09 PM

The pieces are falling into place for the defence of Australia from our belligerent upstart superpower to the north. I am still waiting on delivery of my Phalanx CIWS for the balcony so I have bridged the gap with an alternative close-in weapons system

Show us your impulse buy-save_20230411_034457-jpg

Senorita thought I looked quite fetching in my Poofta Bombardier hat

**malmomike77** · 10-04-2023, 11:21 PM

^ Looking forward to you going full Burt Gummer

**Simon43** · 13-04-2023, 01:31 AM

Originally Posted by Looper

^^^^^You need to get on the bonnet with these memoirs Simon.

They deserve publishing...

Yes yes I know! I've been 'ordered' to put down these true events in writing on many occasions. I did write a few excerpts that were published on Stickman's web site, but indeed, I want to put them together into an e-book.

Anyway, here is my impulse purchase for today:

With little to do in Blackpool when I'm not teaching online, I have been pottering around some of the secondhand/curio stalls in the town. I found this small domino set, ideal for packing into my suitcase. I don't usually 'do' dominoes, but aware from previous experience of how there can be fcuk-all to do in Myanmar, (especially with the junta curfew in the evenings), and not wishing to wear my wrist out with excessive self-sexual stimulation, I bought this domino set for all of 3 quid. (The intention is to actually play 'standard' domino games, not 'non-standard' domino games such as sticking them up my backside - I'll have to see how bored I get with the standard games before moving on to the non-standard ones...)

**dirk diggler** · 13-04-2023, 01:43 AM

I recently inherited a domino set also, which came in a box that is also kitted out for a game of Cribbage.

Check these bad boys, they even have the stud in the centre for easy shuffling.

Show us your impulse buy-ed7ea2a4-ed4e-4cc6-b4dd-e4f40f724f0c-jpg

Show us your impulse buy-ed7ea2a4-ed4e-4cc6-b4dd-e4f40f724f0c-jpg

**dirk diggler** · 13-04-2023, 01:48 AM

Originally Posted by dirk diggler

they even have the stud in the centre

Called a spinner apparently

**happynz** · 13-04-2023, 03:05 AM

My android phone had a pregnant battery and my laptop would only run about a minute or so unplugged.

I decided to upgrade from my cheapo phone and laptop and got the iphone14 and the MacBook Air M2.

**dirk diggler** · 13-04-2023, 03:18 AM

Originally Posted by happynz

My android phone had a pregnant battery and my laptop would only run about a minute or so unplugged.

I decided to upgrade from my cheapo phone and laptop and got the iphone14 and the MacBook Air M2.

Excellent choices.

There's still life in my old iPhone X yet. The camera's a bit shit and the battery is diminishing but I reckon I can hold out for the iPhone 15 in September.

**panama hat** · 13-04-2023, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by happynz

I decided to upgrade from my cheapo phone and laptop and got the iphone14 and the MacBook Air M2.

Wise choices

**Switch** · 14-04-2023, 09:12 AM

They do come with interoperability in mind. Excellent cross communication.

**PAG** · 14-04-2023, 05:47 PM

Making a Panang paste the other persuaded me into getting one of these. Got large and small blenders, but really needed something more spice grinding specific.

**david44** · 14-04-2023, 07:20 PM

Will we ever see PAG our resident masterchef again after discovering GRINDR

**Bogon** · 14-04-2023, 08:03 PM

^ Hope so, but now that he has something to grind his nuts to, he may be absent for a bit.

Give the man some time and space to explore his new German model.

**baldrick** · 15-04-2023, 02:26 AM

Originally Posted by Bogon

Give the man some time and space to explore his new German model

the german model should have some interesting extra modes - what does it do when you use it on a glass table ?

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