Thread: What are you doing for Valentine's day?

She didn't get me jack for xmas so she's getting jack for valentines day. She's already dropping hints about some gold.

^ I thought you did pretty well out of Xmas.

I bought the Missus a necklace for Xmas, you don't get much for 12000 baht nowadays

^So did I but upon reflection she just let me spend too much of my own money

Making a comeback to LOS after 7 years of staying away... should be huge...

Probably have a wank....

Originally Posted by redbaron

Making a comeback to LOS after 7 years of staying away... should be huge...

You find lots of superficial changes, but essentially nothings changed.

Originally Posted by jizzybloke

Probably have a wank....

And why is the 14th any different ?

I will be in the pub with a few mates thanking our lucky stars we are single.

I have read that many Thai girls want to lose their virginity on V-day, so I'm going to go hang out at the local university and offer my services.

Seein as both my prior tiluxes did one I'm open to serious offers.

Originally Posted by wuron

many Thai girls want to lose their virginity on V-day, so I'm going to go hang out at the local university and offer my services.

Are you a privates detective?

Lets not get hastened by the details the sign is clearly telling you what to do, in order for everyone to have a good valentines day one must give the missus a big dirty facial, cover her face in jizz. Even in the eyes

Originally Posted by sabai sabai

I don't usually buy them, due to the fact i thought the Missus would think I'd been up to no good. But a week or so ago, I brought her a couple of roses back and she started sobbing.

see, you being naughty makes her cry

Originally Posted by nedwalk

i,m taking meself to PATS

give us a bell when you get in mate

^will do mate..

Having a wank in my grotty damp bedsit. I may have a posh wank though and put a condom on.

I'll phone the missus and say 'Happy Valentines Day'.

Apart from that I'll be sat on a boat somewhere off Angola reading the Daily Mail and Teakdoor. Will probably knock one off in the cabin after shift while watching 'Amateur Thai Cuties' - If I'm feeling romantic I might close my eyes and think of the missus when reaching the vinegar strokes.

I might wear my mackintosh raincoat and go for a walk in the local park to see if i can see romance anywhere.

^ Thought you'd be trawling the local field for unsuspecting rodents.

Here's some dirty valentine SMS's you can send

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey!

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit!

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring up a friend
and try double entry!

Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
So's your Vaginer!

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just come
Pass me a hanky.

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
'Cause here comes my willy!

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your top
And show us your tits.

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me bitter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter.

Originally Posted by rawlins

when reaching the vinegar strokes.

wassat?

^ Zee point of no return..

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Originally Posted by DrAndy

Originally Posted by rawlins

when reaching the vinegar strokes.

wassat?

From Urban Dictionary:





The final moments prior to when a man orgasms. At this point he can no longer stop himself from ejaculating no matter what happens. He will make a face as though he has just smelled vinegar. It is said that if you peer into a man's eyes during his vinegar strokes you get a glimpse of his soul.


The pre-orgasmal point of no return for men during the sexual act, where failing to blurt your mess will result in blue balls
i was pulling up to the vinegar strokes when she woke up and caught my sticky gift in her freshly opened eye

are blue balls a myth?

I have never understood the concept

^ had to check urban dictionary again to see what blue balls was....

"the excrutiating pain a man receives when his balls swell to the size of coconuts because of lack of sex, unfinished bjs, and just not cummin when he knows he should."

" when polly wont finish off your cracker"


I reckon it is a myth. Have experienced polly not finishing of my cracker on a few occasions but never got any excrutiating pain or balls the size of coconuts because of it.