The Ashes Tour

**cyrille** · 11-10-2021, 10:15 PM

You really seem kind of desperately Australian.

Pom, right?

I mean a real POM.

**cyrille** · 11-10-2021, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by Headworx

only Wessells comes to mind as a ring-in

Read this slowly: Your Entire Side Are 'Ring-Ins'.

**Headworx** · 11-10-2021, 10:29 PM

^^ I must have missed the part when signing up here that it was mandatory to disclose where we were born, both parents nationalities, countries we've called home, and what nations we hold passport(s) from. I may have also missed the part where telling boring soap-dodging cvnts like you to go fuck yourself is against the rules, so I won't do it just in case it is.

**cyrille** · 11-10-2021, 10:33 PM

But let's get get back to native born people...

As opposed to stateless drifters who won't even declare their nationality and are even insecure about their cutlery.

**Headworx** · 11-10-2021, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by cyrille

But let's get get back to native born people...

Where the fuck do you think 99.9999% of Australian players of the last 50 years were born, North Korea? Iceland? I'd say being born in Australia makes them native Australians, despite whatever angle of retarded stupidity you're trying to pedal here.

Now fuck off dopey, even by your lofty standards of being the most boring cvnt on the planet you're really pushing the boat out here..

**cyrille** · 11-10-2021, 10:51 PM

Your fascination with where English cricketers were born is fucking hilarious, you thick c-un-t.

I do hope that didn't bore you, you insistently slow prick.

**malmomike77** · 11-10-2021, 11:25 PM

Well the TD Ashea are warming up nicely....... Sledging tick

**harrybarracuda** · 11-10-2021, 11:42 PM

Yes, sybille has segued nicely from "paying the rent from overseas" to "I'm stuck here with nothing in common with the missus so I'll just drink and shitpost" in a very short time indeed.

**Saint Willy** · 12-10-2021, 04:35 AM

Wowzers, I knew they loved Kevin Pieterson but that list is ridiculous!

**Saint Willy** · 12-10-2021, 04:39 AM

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Yes, sybille has segued nicely from "paying the rent from overseas" to "I'm stuck here with nothing in common with the missus so I'll just drink and shitpost" in a very short time indeed.

The reunion may not have been as happy as imagined. Add to the mix the very real challenge of retirement or taking a year off, some folkx just cannot deal with the seachange and uncertainty of no routine and no plan for the future!

**cyrille** · 12-10-2021, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

Yes, sybille has segued nicely from "paying the rent from overseas" to "I'm stuck here with nothing in common with the missus so I'll just drink and shitpost" in a very short time indeed.

More than a touch of projection there, eh harriet?

Reading the post back though, it does look a bit ‘tootesque’.

**Switch** · 12-10-2021, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by cyrille

More than a touch of projection there, eh harriet?

You do it all the time Cy. Supposition, extrapolation and assumptions, often based on the things you don’t actually know for sure.

Never mind, provided your bullshit is good, I’m sure Harry won’t mind.

**Headworx** · 12-10-2021, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by Saint Willy

Wowzers, I knew they loved Kevin Pieterson but that list is ridiculous!

And I had to cut it short to fit the page

That's one can of worms our one-man cure for insomnia shouldn't have opened, along with his bottle of Pimms it should have remained closed.

**Saint Willy** · 12-10-2021, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by Headworx

That's one can of worms our one-man cure for insomnia shouldn't have opened, along with his bottle of Pimms it should have remained closed.

**harrybarracuda** · 12-10-2021, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by cyrille

More than a touch of projection there, eh harriet?

I think you're confusing "observation" with "projection" sybille.

I mean let's face it, when you're already resorting to making crap jokes about people using the word "bath" instead of "baht" you're plumbing the depths pretty quickly, eh?

**Saint Willy** · 17-11-2021, 09:40 AM

Usman Khawaja, Travis Head included in Ashes squad as Australian selectors weigh up options before Gabba Test

Posted 2h ago2 hours ago, updated 1h ago1 hours ago

The last time Usman Khawaja played a Test on Australia soil he scored a relieving century against Sri Lanka.(Getty: Ryan Pierse)
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Australian selectors have named a 15-man squad for the first two Tests of this summer's Ashes series against England, with Usman Khawaja included for the first time in more than two years.
Key points:

Khawaja and Travis Head will likely compete for a middle-order batting spot
Jhye Richardson, Michael Neser and Mitchell Swepson are the back-up bowling options
The first Ashes Test starts at the Gabba on December 8

Khawaja last played for Australia in the third Test of the 2019 Ashes series at Headingley, before being dropped to allow Marnus Labuschagne to remain in the team when Steve Smith returned from concussion.
After a prolific start to the Sheffield Shield season, 34-year-old Khawaja will be in line for an opening batter spot or middle-order slot in the first Test XI for the Australian men's team in almost a year.
The 2021/22 Ashes series is scheduled to start at the Gabba in Brisbane on December 8.
Aussie Ashes squad

Pat Cummins
Cameron Green
Marcus Harris
Josh Hazlewood
Travis Head*
Usman Khawaja*
Marnus Labuschagne
Nathan Lyon
Michael Neser*
Tim Paine
Jhye Richardson*
Steve Smith
Mitchell Starc
Mitchell Swepson*
David Warner

* Not in last Test XI
Travis Head returns after being dropped midway through Australia's Test series against India last summer, while Jhye Richardson and Michael Neser will be extra pace options, and Queensland leg spinner Mitch Swepson will be back-up spinner.
Khawaja said he had not been given a "clear-cut" indication of where he would be batting when he got the call from chairman of selectors George Bailey, but suspected he would be more likely to be competing with Head for number five.
"With Marcus Harris being in the team he's probably the frontline opener if I'm looking at that side myself," he said.
"But there's an opportunity in the middle order and that's probably where it's at. Whether I play or not will depend on what way the selectors go."
Head has scores of 163 and 55 in the Sheffield Shield this season, as well as a blistering 230 off 127 in the domestic one-day tournament.

It sounds like Travis Head will be competing with Khawaja for the number five spot in the line-up.(AP: Andy Brownbill)He also has two Test tons and seven half-centuries in 31 Test innings, with an average just under 40. Meanwhile, Khawaja averages just over 40 in 44 Tests, with eight hundreds and 14 fifties.
The veteran said he had matured enough to handle the ups and downs of life as a professional cricketer.
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"I've got nothing to prove to anyone or to myself," Khawaja said.

"I've been in the Australian team, I've been dropped. I've had contracts, I haven't had contracts," he added.
"When you're a bit younger you hold onto those things a little bit more tightly but … the last couple of years I've been playing for Queensland I haven't had a contract with Australia.
"I've enjoyed both sides of the fence. For me it was nice perspective to come back [after getting dropped] and life wasn't too dissimilar for me."
Near misses in Australia A squad

Sean Abbott has been in good form for NSW this Shield season.(Getty Images: Cameron Spencer)In-form NSW seamer Sean Abbott is probably the biggest omission from the squad, but he has been included in a group of Australia A players set for a game against the English Lions touring side.
They will also play a three-day intra-squad match against the Test players on December 1.
While it will not carry as much weight as the "Possibles vs Probables" trial match held in the lead-up to the 2019 Ashes series in England, it is still an opportunity for players like Abbott to push their case.
Cricket Australia said the current 15-man squad named was for the first two Tests.
Abbott will be pushing for a shot at a Test debut, while Alex Carey will need to stay fresh in case captain Tim Paine's recovery from neck surgery hits a speed bump.
Also in the Australia A side are Victorian quick Scott Boland, in-form batters Nic Maddinson and Henry Hunt, Twenty20 World Cup hero Mitch Marsh, WA's Ashton Agar and Josh Inglis, and three Queenslanders — batters Matt Renshaw and Bryce Street, and paceman Mark Steketee.
Usman Khawaja, Travis Head included in Ashes squad as Australian selectors weigh up options before Gabba Test - ABC News

**Headworx** · 17-11-2021, 11:15 AM

The tumbling Tom's and entourage are holed-up at the Intercontinental hotel in Sanctuary Cove, about as close to paradise as it gets on the Northern end of the Gold Coast with a fantastic little village of restaraunts shops and bars next to the marina, and 3 world class golf courses within a short buggy drive from the resort. If I was filthy rich, that area would be my very first choice for a 2nd home in the West.

The Aussies are holed up at Royal Pines which is also on the Gold Coast and is a resort in the middle of a golf course that hosts the Australian PGA Championship, and is my favourite course to play anywhere in the world. Can be at the Casino and Broadbeach (pictured below) in about 10 minutes from there.

These fuckers all better put a good show on, it's not like their preparations have been hampered due to poor living conditions leading up to the series

**malmomike77** · 20-11-2021, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by Saint Willy

Paine took no questions on Friday, but at some point, he will need to answer some too. For instance, if it was only "on reflection" that his behaviour did "not meet the standard of an Australian cricket captain"

Trying to work out what the Aussie Cricket standards are? So far over the last decade or so they seem rely on Capts and players providing examples of the behaviour they don't like. They will be under some pressure in the Ashes not to fuk up. I imagine the journos will be at pains to find the next player to front up to the cameras and shed a tear.

**harrybarracuda** · 25-11-2021, 03:55 PM

Michael Vaughan can unpack the sunglasses, bucket, spade and knotted hanky. No Duty Free for him this Xmas (well, if he was going).

Ashes: Michael Vaughan not part of BBC coverage - BBC Sport

**cyrille** · 25-11-2021, 04:25 PM

^^ Never met anyone who liked him.

Respected as a batsman, and of course for that glorious Ashes summer.

But never trust a middle aged man in stretch jeans.

**hallelujah** · 30-11-2021, 03:01 AM

Does anyone know much about this Josh Inglis who the convicts are considering bringing in for Paine?

Also, it says he was born in LEEDS, but I can't seem to find it on a map of Australia.

Can anybody help me?

**malmomike77** · 30-11-2021, 03:30 AM

^ can't be right, the convicts on here have assured us only England have foreigners in their team.

Kjuwajua is back in the team - expecting big things from him.

**hallelujah** · 30-11-2021, 03:37 AM

I've just been sent this picture of the Australian selectors convening ahead of the first test:

Ey up Compo lad!

**Saint Willy** · 30-11-2021, 05:31 AM

Have a laff…

**cyrille** · 30-11-2021, 06:57 AM

Originally Posted by malmomike77

^ can't be right, the convicts on here have assured us only England have foreigners in their team.

Kjuwajua is back in the team - expecting big things from him.

How about that Fannie de Kok bloke - is he still playing for them?

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