Thread: EPL The REAL Football

This can be the beginning of the Football thread.

When I get a moment I'll see if I can find the current transfer list so we can brawl about whose team has signed the most crap players!

We could also start some nonsense banter about the Fantasy league which is still some weeks away!!

Real football? Oh pa lease.

Transfers:

Transfers - June 2005


Asier del Horno [Athletic Bilbao - Chelsea] £8m
El-Hadji Diouf [Liverpool - Bolton] Undisclosed
Roy Carroll [Man Utd - West Ham]
Scott Parker [Chelsea - Newcastle United] £6.5m
Laurent Robert [Newcastle - Portsmouth] Undisclosed
Kelvin Davis [Ipswich - Sunderland] £1.25m
Brahim Hemdani [Marseille - Rangers] Free
Andy O'Brien [Newcastle - Portsmouth] £2m
Vladimir Smicer [Liverpool - Bordeaux] Free
Jon Stead [Blackburn - Sunderland] £1.8m
Mikael Forssell [Chelsea - Birmingham] £3m
Jaroslav Drobny [Panionios - Fulham] Undisclosed
Ahmed Erlich [Busan Icons - Fulham] Undisclosed
John Lukic [unattached - Grimsby]
Kiki Musampa [Atletico Madrid - Manchester City] Loan
Edwin van der Sar [Fulham - Manchester United] Undisclosed

Not a lot of lolly floating around at the moment.
Rumour has it that Chelski made a UK57mil offer for Schevchenko but it was knocked back

Pires on his way to Valencia?
Viduka to Newcastle? :P

The big question.will Gerard re-sign or resign and head off to London?
Shaun Wright-Phillips? Is someone going to make an offer?

Gerard has a bit of a quandry to mull over now. You knew damn well he didn't expect Liverpool to win anything last season!

The rumor mill is working overtime on Gerard.

35mill from Real Madrid (where the fuck do they get their money) with Owen going to Man Utd (I hope not!).

But hang on he's just bought that house in Liverpool............

On his day.........blah blah blah but I think he has some crap days as well a risk at 35 mill.

What price would you put on Lampard?

I can't understand anyone wanting to play for Real Madrid. You're lucky to get a game and most players seem to play with two left feet after they go there.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

I can't understand anyone wanting to play for Real Madrid. You're lucky to get a game and most players seem to play with two left feet after they go there.

Moneys not bad though!

Ronaldo makes an absolute killing with his outside contracts. I think the whole Real 'superstars of football' was somebody's business plan had very little to do with football.
As good as Beckham was at United, did anyone seriously think he could bring too much to Real?
But as a marketing ploy, unbeatable!

The Hammers have signed a goalie (Carroll), although I'm not sure if he's any better than what we have already. Now we just need two full backs, at least one central defender, a right sided midfield player and a couple of strikers. We'll do OK in the prem then! Pardew has been given 20 mil, it's about time he started spending it! Did I hear a rumour that Owen is willing to take a pay cut just for the privilege of wearing claret and blue?

Originally Posted by Arthur Sixpence

The Hammers have signed a goalie (Carroll), although I'm not sure if he's any better than what we have already. Now we just need two full backs, at least one central defender, a right sided midfield player and a couple of strikers. We'll do OK in the prem then! Pardew has been given 20 mil, it's about time he started spending it! Did I hear a rumour that Owen is willing to take a pay cut just for the privilege of wearing claret and blue?

Why does Owen want to play for Villa?

The latest transfers:

Park Ji-Sung [PSV Eindhoven - Manchester United] £4m
Juan Sebastian Veron [Chelsea - Inter Milan] Undisclosed

Veron could write a book on "How to under achieve in the EPL and fucking clean up big time!"


Gossip:
Chelsea have agreed an £18m deal for Manchester City winger
Shaun Wright-Phillips.
(Now that Parker's gone there a spare seat on the bus. Not in the change room though Shaun!)

Everton are planning a £6m bid for Crystal Palace striker Andy Johnson

Aston Villa boss David O'Leary is keen to complete a £7m deal for Manchester City's Sylvain Distin. (hehe U suck city)

transfer goss...


Real Madrid offer £20m plus both Michael Owen and Santiago Solari for Chelsea's Frank Lampard (News of The World).

Manchester City boss Stuart Pearce expects Shaun Wright-Phillips to be in his team for the start of the season (People).

Chelsea are to table an £18m bid for Lyon midfielder Michael Essien (Daily Star).

Newcastle have rejected an offer from Tottenham for a swap involving Robbie Keane for Jermaine Jenas (Daily Star).

Aston Villa chairman Doug Ellis is facing a £45m takeover bid from a consortium involving former Manchester City defender Ray Ranson (Sunday Mirror).

Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United have all rejected the opportunity to sign Luis Figo, who is seeking £90,000 a week wages (Daily Star).

Jose Mourinho has blasted the Premier League for showing bias towards Arsenal (People). *starting early Jose?*

Bolton, who want Sammy Lee as their new assistant boss, may find their bid for Roma's former Leeds and Everton player Olivier Dacourt thwarted by a bid from Sevilla (Daily Star).

Craig Bellamy has asked Everton who else they are going to sign before deciding whether to move to Goodison Park (People).

Arsenal are set to offer defender Phillipe Senderos a new deal that will keep him at the club until 2010 (Daily Star).

New owner Malcolm Glazer could meet Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson for the first time on the club's tour of the Far East (People).

Arsenal are planning a £16m bid for Santos striker Robinho (News of The World).

Former Spurs keeper Ian Walker is set to join Portsmouth after being released by Leicester (News of The World).

West Ham could increase their bid for Sheffield United's Phil Jagielka (People).


Wigan are keen to sign former Spurs and Wolves striker Steffen Iversen, who has returned to play in Norway (Daily Star).

Celtic are vying with Blackburn, Manchester City, West Ham, Lyon and Lille to sign French striker Jeremie Aliadiere on loan from Arsenal. (Sunday Mail)

Rangers are to renew their interest in Hibernian striker Derek Riordan. (Sunday Post)

I love this time of year.....


West Ham plan a bid to bring Real Madrid's Luis Figo to Upton Park. (Daily Star)

Spurs are set to make an increased offer for Newcastle midfielder Jermaine Jenas, after having an initial £6m bid rejected. (Mirror)

West Ham are hopeful of signing Newcastle's former Manchester United stopper Nicky Butt. (Mirror)

Juventus have rejected a £30m offer from Chelsea for striker David Trezeguet. (The Sun)

Manchester City are contemplating a move for former Rangers defender Craig Moore, who is on tour with Australia after being released by his club Borussia Moenchengladbach. (Mirror)

Birmingham manager Steve Bruce is likely to move for Cardiff defender Danny Gabbidon. (Mirror)

Celtic boss Gordon Strachan is expected to enter talks about a permanent move for Craig Bellamy, who is also wanted by Everton and Aston Villa. (Daily Mail)

Villa could move for Southampton's Kevin Phillips if they fail to land Bellamy. (Daily Mail)

Chelsea striker Mateja Kezman may be about to move to Marseille on loan, with talks planned this week. (Daily Express)

Bolton are expected to pip Manchester City for the signature of Oman keeper Ali Al-Habsi. (Daily Mail)

The agent for Birmingham loan signing Walter Pandiani says his client would welcome a move to Real Zaragoza. (Daily Express)

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has given Celtic his blessing to snap up striker Jeremie Aliadiere on loan. (Daily Record)

Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United have all rejected the opportunity to sign Luis Figo, who is seeking £90,000 a week wages (Daily Star).

West Ham plan a bid to bring Real Madrid's Luis Figo to Upton Park. (Daily Star)

This made me . How the f*ck can we afford to pay him 90 grand a week? Cut every other players wages to a tenner?

Originally Posted by Arthur Sixpence

Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United have all rejected the opportunity to sign Luis Figo, who is seeking £90,000 a week wages (Daily Star).

West Ham plan a bid to bring Real Madrid's Luis Figo to Upton Park. (Daily Star)

This made me . How the f*ck can we afford to pay him 90 grand a week? Cut every other players wages to a tenner?

Perhaps a fiver mate! :cry:

confirmed transfers:

Kevin Phillips [Southampton v Aston Villa] £1m
Mateja Kezman [Chelsea - Atletico Madrid] £5.3m
Bruno Cheyrou [Liverpool - Bordeaux] Loan
Emanuel Pogatetz [Bayer Leverkusen - Middlesbrough] £1.8m
Heidar Helguson [Watford - Fulham] £1.3m
Per Kroldrup [Udinese - Everton] 5m


and the goss:
Chelsea are on the brink of making a £35m bid for in-form Parma striker Alberto Gilardino.

Everton boss David Moyes is courting a new Ferrari - £2.5m defender Matteo Ferrari from Roma.

Birmingham's on-loan striker Walter Pandiani is the subject of a £2.7m swoop by Real Zaragoza.

Andy Cole has been given the green light to move for free from Fulham to Blackburn Rovers.

Bolton boss Sam Allardyce will fight Liverpool for the services of Greece international Stelios Giannakopoulos.

Middlesbrough will move in for Norwich midfielder Damien Francis if - as expected - Liverpool sign Bolo Zenden on a free.

Jermaine Jenas is ready to leave Newcastle, news that will spark a £10m transfer battle between Manchester United, Tottenham and Arsenal.

Liverpool will swoop for Middlesbrough winger Boudewijn Zenden, whose contract at the Riverside expires on Friday.

Boro are making a shock move for Juventus' £5m-rated midfielder Stephen Appiah - possibly on loan.

Laurent Robert believes Spurs target Jermaine Jenas will definitely leave Newcastle in the transfer window.

Carlton Cole is angling for a £2m move from Chelsea to Portsmouth.

Cristiano Ronaldo will commit his future to Manchester United by signing a new five-year contract worth £60,000 - four times his salary.

Liverpool will end their interest in signing Real Madrid star Luis Figo unless the Galactico radically drops his wage demands.

Chelsea are in transfer crisis after Lyon's Michael Essien and Atletico Madrid's Fernando Torres become the latest targets to shun them.
The Blues are now planning to recall on-loan striker Hernan Crespo from AC Milan.

Michael Owen has been house-hunting near the Chelsea training ground in Surrey and even viewed the pad of Scott Parker who is moving to Newcastle.

Former Leeds midfielder Olivier Dacourt is in talks with Bolton Wanderers.

Barcelona are set to swoop for Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo, who has stalled in talks over an improved contract. :P

Liverpool are in talks with Real Madrid reject Luis Figo but are struggling to agree wage terms.
The Reds hope to wrap up the signing of Villareal goalkeeper Jose Reina for £6m by the end of this week.

West Ham hope to lure Figo to London for around £60,000 per week - or two thirds of his current wage.

Portsmouth are trying to sign strikers Carlton Cole and Kevin Phillips to replace Yakubu.
Newcastle have warned off Spurs from making an approach for midfielder Jermaine Jenas.

Celtic look set to lose out on Southampton keeper Antti Niemi and Wisla Krakow striker Maciej Zurawski.

more gossip:

Manchester United striker Louis Saha is heading to Everton on a one-year loan deal. (Yay!!)

Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is confident of sealing the £20m transfer of Shaun Wright-Phillips from Manchester City next week. (Bollocks!!)

Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez is close to a deal to sign Middlesbrough's Dutch international Boudewijn Zenden.

Newcastle have made Manchester United's Alan Smith their number one transfer target. (Yay!!)

Middlesbrough boss Steve McClaren has launched a bid to sign England star Owen Hargreaves from Bayern Munich. )

Tottenham are confident of signing Stewart Downing from Middlesbrough for £6m. (WTF!!)

Charlton are set to sign Spurs defender Anthony Gardner in a £1.6m move.

West Ham have been told to cough up £3m to sign Cardiff defender Danny Gabbidon.

Portsmouth are ready to use defender Linvoy Primus as bait to try to beat Middlesbrough in the race to sign Norwich midfielder Damien Francs.

Nicolas Anelka wants to return to the Premiership after less than six months with Turkish champions Fenerbahce. (West Ham?)

Bolton are set to sign ex-Leicester keeper Ian Walker this week.

Manchester United midfielder Kleberson is set to make a cut-price move to Benfica. (Yay!!)

I wonder how many of these get anywhere near to reality.

I personally hope Manu can offload Saha, Smith and Kleberson more room for a couple of decent players.......what was that about Downing moving?

Will Steven Gerrard go?
If he does it won't be to Chelski, only Madrid it seems!

The only sure big namer I can see moving is Owen, Madrid have just said "He's not going anywhere" which usually means..
"There's a press conference due next Tuesday!"

Vieri has just had his contract cancelled at Inter.
Expect a phone call from big Sam at Bolton, Christian!

[quote]

Nicolas Anelka wants to return to the Premiership after less than six months with Turkish champions Fenerbahce. (West Ham?)

I would love to see it, but I doubt if we could afford his wages.
:?

[quote="Arthur Sixpence"]

Nicolas Anelka wants to return to the Premiership after less than six months with Turkish champions Fenerbahce. (West Ham?) [/quoteI would love to see it, but I doubt if we could afford his wages.
:?

On his day he was brilliant but those days are long gone.

I doubt whether he's going to cost too much.

Which leads to another point.........it's about time the Premier League introduced a pay-per-quality clause to stop pricks like Kluivert and Veron etc coming over and sitting on their arses while still collecting big pay packets.

At last Pardew has started spending his money, three decent sounding defenders have arrived at Mecca (aka Upton Park). Collins and Gabbidon from Cardiff and Konchesky from Charlton. Now our defence looks OK, time to splash out on a right midfield player and a couple of strikers. Apparantly we offered 6 million quid for Crouch and were turned down. Seems a lot for someone who's had one good season, but I suppose if he can stick them in regularly for Soton he can do it anywhere!

I'm not a fan of string bean type forwards but he did scare a lot of defenders last year.

Problem as I see it too many clubs see him as a top striker and there must be a few equally as good as him somewhere.
He can't be one of England's best strikers.

Nicolas Anelka wants to return to the Premiership after less than six months with Turkish champions Fenerbahce. (West Ham?)

Fekkin' waste of space.

I'm not sure, because the likes of Beckham et al come through the juniors, but Anelka seems to me to be the greatest buy-sell example going around.
Wenger bought him for 1/2 mill and sold him for 20 mill!!!!!

Who gives a fuck after that!

You're always going to be buying on the downhill and this [at][at][at][at] never stayed long enough to establsh himself as a true chapion!!