Thread: Dinner

My recent excursion to the meat locker got me thinking about things, mostly about dead animals and all things meat related. And nothing says meat more than Chilli, meat, heat and more meat. I saw there is a chilli thread, but frankly, most of the offerings looked like a sad attempt at mince beef bolognese.
Let me show you Chili99.

Unfortunately my usual big fuckoff meat cauldron to which I know all the secret ingredient measures off by heart is not within reach so I will have to make do with this tiny pot and wing it with the measurements.
So now sit back and enjoy the meat.


* Not recommended for the overtly flatulent, weak of stomach or serial dutch oveners (could be lethal).


What I've managed to scrounge from my meat locker and a rural Tesco to put in it.

Pork rump
Steak
Beef mince
Chicken breast
Beef stock
Beer
Cumin
5 Spice
Chili powder
Tabasco
Fresh chili
Peppers
Black and white pepper
Coriander seed (Cilantro for septics)
Fresh coriander *
Onion
Garlic
Tomato paste
Bay Leaf
Cooking chocolate
Beans**


Not a bad scrounge, only missing ginger and chicken thigh which I would normally use instead of breast and stout which would be used instead of beer.





* Leaves, stems and roots of coriander all have different levels of flavour, the roots are the most intense part, wash well scrape with a knife to remove the outer fibre then chop finely.

**What! Beans in a chili? some do, some don't, I do.They will mostly disintegrate in the slow cook and add texture.
No tomatoes though, only a fucking philistine would put actual tomatoes in chili, chili con carne, peppers and meat...


Step 1
Put on Santana's Supernatural. Loud.



Louder! Fuck the neighbors.



Add cup or two of stock, tomato paste and beans to your pot, would normally leave this on a slow simmer, but only have one burner atm.
Add the chili powder, B&W pepper, 5 spice, bay, Tabasco, (I use more Tabasco than chili powder for the taste unless the chilis where habaneros) ground coriander seed and coriander root, if you are not sure how much to use, add less and adjust as the sauce develops, the primary flavors are cumin, coriander and chili.
I tend to go easy on the chili powder until I find out how much heat the fresh chili are going to develop. As a general rule, I find it impossible to add too much coriander to chili, there is just no such thing.



The spices on the board are top to bottom, Cumin, 5 Spice, Coriander seed, White Pepper. Left to right, chopped coriander root, garlic and fresh chili.
I don't do measurements, it's all a judgement call, but you can see the proportions.

Step 2

Dice and brown off your onions, garlic, peppers and chillis, then into the pot.

Onion garlic & chili



Peppers



Sauce base. Waiting for something...





Step 3

Yes, yes, nice veggie soup you are saying, where's the star, where is the meat?


Here you go. I didn't kill these just for this post, they were some bits of creatures I butchered earlier.



There was abut as much mince again as in the pic, a kilo or so.

Cube the pork, steak and chicken, season well with salt and pepper. This is the only salt added in the recipe as the stock and bean juice already have a fair bit.




Brown off along with your mince and into the pot. You are not trying to cook it through, just give it some color (and flavor). The couple of hours in the pot will cook it thoroughly. When you do the mince, drain off all the fat and water from the pan before adding it to the pot.

Meat!


More Meat!



Step 4

Use the beer you are drinking to bring up the fluid level in your pot until it well covers the ingredients.

Pot ready for pissing in.



Ready for an application of FIRE!




Put on a high heat.
Open another beer and enjoy while you watch it come to the boil, give it the odd stir.
Do this until you finish your beer, 5 or 10 min or so. The boil isn't done to cook it, just to activate all the ingredients and get the temp up for the next step.

Boil boil, toil and trouble.....




When it's off the boil give it a taste, this is your chance to tweak the balance of cumin, coriander, pepper and tomato paste. Not chili though, not yet.

Step 5

Partially cover the pot and reduce to a slow simmer. Give it a bit of a stir whenever you go to get a fresh beer. The job here is slow cook all those big chunks of meat and the green stuff and beans until they break down, fall apart and absorb all the flavors in the pot. Plan on two or 3 hours.


Leave it for 30 min or so then have a taste test. By now the fresh chili will have developed it's heat somewhat and you can use Tabasco or chili powder to bring it up if needed, again go easy as this dish tends to get hotter the longer you cook it.
Keep checking the taste and fluid level every 30 min and make sure nothing is sticking on the bottom of the pot.



How often you need to stir is pretty much a function of how thick the base of your pot is and how concentrated the heat source. Cheap Thai pot balanced on a blowtorch? Stir constantly.

One hour in, the level has dropped considerably. Taste test, pretty much fucking nailed it first go. Tad more Tabasco, dried chili and some black pepper.




Two hours in, you can see the consistency of all the ingredients has changed, all breaking down nicely and thickening the mix.



Time to add our last ingredients, cooking chocolate and the rest of the fresh coriander. Add half and we will see how it goes. Chocolate balances the flavours and adds body and colour. Use your stirrer to break up any big lumps (mostly steak) if you have done it right, they will be soft and basically crumple.

Lid on properly now as it's reduced enough. Lower the heat a little and maybe 30 min more. Stir frequently as the liquid has reduced and it can easily burn.


Done.



Step 6


Now, soft tortillas, carrot, lettuce cheese and sour cream.




Step 7

Burp.....





I will add that I made this for tortilla and sandwich fillings, if I was going to eat it in a bowl as a stew I would have left it just a little past this stage




If you enjoyed this post and would like to see other MEAT related posts by Necron99 please send a stamped self addressed envelope and some fucking MEAT to Necron99 care of this forum.

Alright, I'm not really going to do a pig (sorry Withnallstoke)........just a bit of one.
Seeing as it's Slaps birthday I thought I'd do him a nice roast.
Lets start by striding purposefully into our Meat Locker and tearing off a likely chunk of dead pig.
It doesn't really matter which bit, it's all good.

Scavenge some ingredients.

Pigflesh
Salt & Pepper
Chili powder
Soy Sauce
Honey
Potatoes
Carrots (baby is best)
Baby Peas
Gravy
Apples
5 Spice
Brown Sugar
Butter





Step 1

Grab a beer and put on the The Animals seminal* and self titled album.




* No, not that meaning you poof, the other one.


Rub salt and pepper into your porcine sacrifice and let it warm up a bit whilst it contemplates and comes to grips with it's impending fate.




Step 2

Peel and chop your veggies, not the carrots though.
Does anyone peel carrots?
Give them a quick parboil, drain, add rock salt and coarse ground pepper and swirl them around in the pot to rough up the surface of the spuds.




Step 3

Mix a 1/4 cup of honey with 2 teaspoons of soy and some chili powder.




Step 4

Fire up the barbie good and hot.
Little bit of oil onto the pig and give it a good scorching. Not cooking it, just giving it a bit of flavour.


Step 5

Then onto the roasting pan and trivet, add the spuds and carrot with a drizzle of oil and a dusting of tarragon leaves. Close it up and let the magic of FIRE take over.




Step 6

Chop and core your apples, on a low heat fry in butter and 5 Spice after a few minutes add a good measure of brown sugar, keep going until the sugar has caramelized.







Step 7

Grab a new beer and go check on your pig. Turn the veggies and baste with pan juices.



When the pig is 10 minutes from done, baste it and the carrots with the honey soy mixture.




Praise the Lord* for his blessings of FIRE and MEAT.



*Not the Jewish or Haji one mind you, cause he won't let them eat this.




Step 8

Nuke your peas and make some gravy adding the pan scrapings.
Plate up.



Step 9

Bastard Slap didn't turn up, so......

......................



If you enjoyed this post and would like to see other MEAT related posts by Necron99 please send a stamped self addressed envelope and some fucking MEAT to Necron99 care of this forum.