Continue The Story

This will give him time to contemplate his thoughts and his sexual desires...

But, as we all know, contemplation is the tip of the metafore. He took to singing, late at night, and rattling his chains

To the Tune of 'Its Raining Men'...by The Weather Girls....

and thinking back to the days before stardom when he could walk openly and anonymously into any gay bar or club on the street, just another sad fat git looking to get his

mojo working, if only he had,nt had his gold chains stolen in that

he himself had nicked from a Frenchie

tourist that was found drugged up in a dirty back street Soi wearing only a singha beer vest, sandels and baggy soiled shorts surrounded by empty fish sauce bottles and disgarded stinking food....

This is where Howards luck changed for the better,,,,

as he also confiscated the Frenchmans Lucky Rabbits foot....this was supposed to bring good luck to the person holding it, Howard put his hand in his pocket and pulled out.....

a stale cheese sandwich

Which he consumed with the utmost vigour. He then had a further rummage through his stuffed pockets and found

as is normal with the Frenchie, a used condom, a half bottle of Noilly Prat and a an ATM with the number scratched on the back

Bingo! He shouted with glee...I can get money and continue with my deviancy, gross consumption and indecency. So off he trotted to an ATM...

,a safe one where he knew there were no cameras to film his journey even further into criminality, it was then that his luck got even better he couldnt believe his eyes but there in front of him

was a leprechaun, sitting atop a pot of gold, with a bottle of Mouton Rothschild in one arm and a bottle of Cristal in the other, the keys to a Lamborghini Murciélago LP 670-4 SuperVeloce dangling from his thumb and 4 of the hottest coyote girls he'd ever seen...

didley dee didley dee, t'be sure t'be sure t'be sure, I've a gift for ye Howard me laddie said the leprechaun

Howard was lost for words, a rare occurrence, to be sure (to be sure).."what have I done to deserve such amazing good fortune?" he stuttered..

Well you see Howard me laddie it's like this, when I was a wee snip of a Leprechaun no higher than a knats knob you help me out of a scrape that I found myself in

don,t you remember when you helped me explain to the nice policeman how that geckho had gotten under my foreskin ? and then we

got him to call a vet to save the poor creature and

then we checked out his family tree to see if this kinda thing ran in the family ,, however we were all shocked to find

that at the tender age of 56 he was adopted by a

a family of albino gorillas who raised him as one of their own...they tenderly changed his soiled nappys, polished his bellend and taught him how to breath and keep his eyes open..

but the albino gorillas failed to teach Howard how to climb and this resulted in him
falling out of his family tree leaving him to.....

walk the cursed earth, alone....Ah yes, I remember that now, said Howard, looking to conclude the deal with the little Irish fella..."so what's next?", he asked..