Thread: Weaning a kid away from Thai style parenting

Originally Posted by DrivingForce

You can wear glasses with a full faced helmet I do all the time..

I'm sure you have trouble reading sometimes. I do wear a full face helmet with glasses on both bikes, but for puttering around town it is a pain in the arse. I am going to buy a DOT standard open face helmet for both of us for the Wave.

Originally Posted by DrivingForce

Just out of curiosity, who is this directed at ?

Both of you. More reading difficulties I see.

Anyway, the bickering has been binned. You can do that in the lounge or in MKP.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by DrivingForce

You can wear glasses with a full faced helmet I do all the time..

I'm sure you have trouble reading sometimes. I do wear a full face helmet with glasses on both bikes, but for puttering around town it is a pain in the arse. I am going to buy a DOT standard open face helmet for both of us for the Wave.

It is late you know? Sorry for the minor oversight....Your decision, local traffic is worse than highway though, more accidents happen within 5 miles of your home than anywhere else.. oh well...
Pain in the ass? We're talking about different parts of the body here no wonder it's inconvenient for you?

Why purchase open faced helmets at all? That is my point, especially if you have a closed one already? I wear closed face around town don't see how it's all that much more a pain in the ass then an open faced especially when I think surgery to TRY to replace my face would be a much bigger pain..

Wow Look who is back!
Where ya been IM?
As for Marmers parenting, who would have believed it eh?
Tough boy Marmers getting all warm and gushy over a kid.
There is only one rule re parenting, just give the kid a swift kick in the arse every opportunity, before they do anything wrong, worked for me and BG, look how well we turned out.

I've been posting on another forum and studying like crazy amongst other things. How are ya?

As for Marmite good on him.

Originally Posted by DrivingForce

Why purchase open faced helmets at all? That is my point, especially if you have a closed one already? I wear closed face around town don't see how it's all that much more a pain in the ass then an open faced especially when I think surgery to TRY to replace my face would be a much bigger pain..

i have to agree with DF here, mate. the open face helmets aint worth shit.

^ get a flip front one.

easy to use and wear

Originally Posted by DrivingForce

Why purchase open faced helmets at all? That is my point, especially if you have a closed one already?

I don't know, that seems to be a persoanl choice too, I know I would not wear a full face fucker, I wear one of then Kraut fuckers cause it lightweight, east to see out of and better to hear shit with and keeps the cops off my ass..
If you need to have your head in a bucket, why not stay home and shove your head under the mattress.
Cides that, The little prick asked a question about some shit with a kid, not a set of rules to live his whole life by.
My daughter was raised with a car seat, one that had a handle thing like a bail and she was in that when she went with me the first week and then graduated to a car seat when she was walking and then to a larger one as she got bigger, I got rid of my 4x4 SR5 Toyota when we left Baja and come to Calif. and I got a MKV Contintental and her seat was in the center of the rear seat and she would climb in the car and right into the seat and even hook her straps.

Originally Posted by peterpan

worked for me and BG, look how well we turned out.

God damn straight, now ain't we a pair to draw to...

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Agreed. Sugar is banned!

I haven't got through the thread yet so these comments may be covered later, but good for you to ban sugar early on. Won't be easy, because Thais add excessive sugar to their foodstuffs as a necessity.


It's perfectly normal for a baby to cry, but crying for other than basic needs is a difficult one as it can turn into a battle of wills and heavy baggage for the kid if it's not resolved early. There are many other issues as well as conflicts, as with much of parenting, and no doubt bookshelves are devoted to each, but best we can do in forum mode is to share a few shell thoughts.

Consider also, aside from attention seeking it may be part frustration at being unable to communicate in ways adults can understand, but the kid will soon learn if crying or a tantrum brings forth whatever it is he wants, and will struggle but eventually learn that it doesn't.

If it's discretionary then stand your ground and not give them whatever it is they're crying for, but at the same time let them know it was the crying that caused you (both) to make that decision. Also important, is to make sure you are both committed to this, because the child will soon learn if he can play one against the other, and that will lead to a hive of problems for you all. Next, treat that as unbending policy, not punishment, but after the storm has subsided and he is more receptive let him know why it is he didn't get the 'thing'.

18 months? - not easy, but non-verbal comms work well, so try distractions when the crying has kicked off, like a game or singing/dancing, tickling or a cuddle, or tickling leading to other things that include a cuddle, and praise for something else they've done or are doing is never to be underestimated as calming, positive conditioning, and for the realtime issue, a fine diversion.

Another option, when they're a bit older and easier to communicate with, which we do with 3-yr-old Asma who spends a lot of time with us, is to not give her whatever has set her off but leave it in plain view till she stops crying. When she's calmed down we still don't let her have it for 5 (long) minutes - as a reminder that crying is not the solution. Quite often when that time is over her attention is somewhere else and she's completely forgotten about it. On more than one occasion, when she went into tantrum mode for a moment before she realised I was actually bringing her what she wanted, it was too late and from her expression it was clear she realised what she had done which is a good start...I brought it out and left it in view for her 5-min time out, which she accepted.

Right or wrong we'll never know, but each parent or substitute has to play it their way; there is no instruction manual to cover billions of individuals. Much of the above won't be easy at 18 months and the best you can do will never be perfect, but few things are a doddle when it comes to parenting. Important is to let them know everything is available but they do not have a right to it.

Originally Posted by blackgang

Consistency is the key to a well behaved and adjusted child, make the rules and do not change them and always stick to them and they will too, but a child will see just how far he can go, so set the boundary's and do not move them.certain penalties must be administered for certain offenses and those to must be strongly adhered to.

Must say sound advice . My wife used to threaten our daughter with all sorts of punishments but never carried them out. My rules were obeyed as my daughter knew that the penalties would be administered. I never slapped her but i would deprive her of something she treasured for a set period. All rules must be fair.

Marmite Give you son all the Love that you can muster, that's what kids need !!!!!!!

Good luck and Hugs to you all !!

I am a little jealous x

Originally Posted by peterpan

Tough boy Marmers getting all warm and gushy over a kid.

I didn't know I was tough. Cool.

And not gushy, just wanting to do the right thing after failing miserably at my fist attempt of being step-dad.

I see you still haven't worked out how to answer PMs.

Originally Posted by keda

Won't be easy, because Thais add excessive sugar to their foodstuffs as a necessity.

Luckily, the Midget doesn't do lots of sugar and with the lad's food will add no sugar at all. She is 100% in agreement with the no sugar rule.

Originally Posted by SnotGoblin

Marmite Give you son all the Love that you can muster, that's what kids need !

Well, he's not really my son, but I appreciate the sentiment. He's still a bit wary of me after 2 days, but I'm just going to carry on doing what I do and he'll get used to me in time.

Originally Posted by November Rain

Bedtimes were the worst. I wouldn't let him sleep with us, so what we used to do was one of us sit with him in his room till he fell asleep and then leave, but leave a light on in his bathroom so if he woke he wouldn't be scared. We got screaming matches for about 3 nights and then he settled down to the routine. We also had a set bedtime for him (still do) and that seemed to help.

I have just shown the Midget what a cot is and what the plan for getting him to sleep in his own room is. She looked a bit worried and I know hearing her kid crying and screaming for a few nights will hurt her, but it will be for the best in the long run.

In the OP I mentioned that he cries for milk all through the night. I told the Midget that he cannot have milk any more and she agreed, but instead of not having anything like I assumed, he was being given water in his bottle whenever he cried last night. I think I need to be a little more specific in my instructions, but it's a start, I guess.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

just going to carry on doing what I do and he'll get used to me in time.

that hasn't worked here for us

Fuck me, I'm glad that I didn't have some foreigner stranger discussing the changes he is going to make to my life on an internet forum when I was 18 months old.

no, you had your mum leaning over the fence asking the neighbours

Who needs them any more?

Fuck off Smeg. Don't you have a girlfriend to kill?

Originally Posted by Smeg

Fuck me, I'm glad that I didn't have some foreigner stranger discussing the changes he is going to make to my life on an internet forum when I was 18 months old.

It might of helped if you did!!

well good luck.
It gets easier with time

I hope the little fucker does the same to Marmite when he is sat dribbling in an old people's home 40 years from now.

Originally Posted by Smeg

Fuck me, I'm glad that I didn't have some foreigner stranger discussing the changes he is going to make to my life on an internet forum when I was 18 months old.

Ain't that the truth. And there all fvcking experts, to the point of extreme arguement. And their standard is the only one...

Originally Posted by Smeg

is sat dribbling

What tense is that?

Originally Posted by Smeg

I hope the little fucker does the same to Marmite when he is sat dribbling in an old people's home 40 years from now.

No wonder you people are so fucked up if thats what you do to older folks.
My mother was 97 yesterday and she still lives alone in her own home in Calif. and a lady come in and helps her on a daily basis.
I am 75 and my wife works and I do the cooking and some of the house work and shopping, plus making sausages and preserving stuff and posting the results on this board.