Thread: Beating your children

Originally Posted by English Noodles

So at what age is it acceptable to beat your children up - what is the maximum acceptable injury you feel justified to inflict - where is the line drawn?

Bullshit! You don't 'beat the fok out of your children'.

Dad Snapped Baby Daughter's Spine

4:35pm UK, Friday October 24, 2008
A father who murdered his 16-month-old daughter by snapping her spine has been jailed for life.




James Howson, 25, was told he must serve at least 22 years.

He had been found guilty of murdering his daughter Amy earlier this week after a trial at Leeds Crown Court.

Amy's mother, Tina Hunt, 26, was given a 12-month suspended sentence for allowing the death of a child and child cruelty. She admitted the charges.

Sentencing Howson, the judge, Mrs Justice Cox, recounted how the defendant placed his daughter over his knee or other object and broke her back at their home while he was looking after her.

He then sat with her body until the morning.

The judge said: "This was, in my view, a chilling and brutal attack. The bone was completely dislocated, resulting in spinal shock, rapid unconsciousness - mercifully - and to death."

The judge also detailed other occasions in the weeks leading up to the murder in December last year when Howson "cruelly and deliberately assaulted Amy", leaving her with multiple fractures to her arms and legs.

Howson showed no emotion as he was led from the dock.

The judge said to him: "I have not seen the slightest evidence of remorse from you for what you did."

The court had heard that the youngster, who was malnourished and dehydrated, had also been slapped and punched in the months leading up to her death.

Howson had a troubled history and had been violent towards women when he was young. Yet he had no previous convictions.

Adrian Waterman QC, defending, described how when Howson was expelled from school as a teenager, a teacher noted in a report: "This boy will commit a murder before too long. I've never seen a such a disturbed young man."

The jury was told Howson was looking after the little girl last December because her mother had morning sickness.

At the time of Amy's death, Hunt was 12 weeks pregnant. Howson said it was possible his partner might have been responsible.

The court heard that in the months before Amy died, health visitors had twice gone to the family's home but her parents had refused to let them in.

Doncaster Primary Care Trust will now have an independent review to find out what happened.

Amy's maternal grandfather, Colin, said the sentence is not enough.
"He could be locked up for 30 or 40 years but he is living. She is dead. It's all wrong.

"It makes you wonder what makes people do that. You think you know them but you don't."

Baby's Spine Snapped: Father James Howson Jailed For Life For Murdering Daughter Amy | UK News | Sky News

really poor example..that ain't discipline it's murder.. far cry... I've seen how hard my boys have to bash themselves or each other just to get a bruise so it goes without saying, this is way OTT..

And he looks the part too...

Beating your children 27-10-2008 02:52 AM astasinim Good advice
Beating your children 27-10-2008 02:38 AM hillbilly

I'm only 26 years old; I've learned alot, just keep them in the right direction, sorry to be pretentious and posting repo in the wrong spot, really good thread for discussion and I'm chuffed of my greens

my mother slapped my face once, i was 14 years of age, i still feel the pain of the humiliation more than the pain of the slap, i deserved it absolutely, for me to drive my dear old mum to that point of frustration, oh yes i deserved it and yes i still remember it and yes it woke me up to what an arse i was being, an open hand slap will not hurt but the emotional fact of when it comes, is the reality check that some kids need imo, as for a clenched fist, no DD, i,m sorry not my stile on my kids, i rckon a backhander would have worked better, good luck mate, teenagers are a right pain

Originally Posted by dirtydog

I deal with stoopid Thais everyday, I don't expect my son to be one.

Your son deals with stupid Farang everyday, should you expect your son to be one? By the way.....do you beat on your wife as well? You must be looked upon as a pillar in the community.

Originally Posted by English Noodles

So at what age is it acceptable to beat your children up - what is the maximum acceptable injury you feel justified to inflict - where is the line drawn?

[/quote]
Never expect these apologist to respond. They don't understand their character. It's a very rare occasion that Thais beat on their children, though you'll find these cretons throughout this forum scramble to bring examples to attention of those whom need comparatives. This is rare. It's not in their nature. However, it is the nature and instinct of Westerners, as such. I wonder if the Dog would go back and read what he writes.....doesn't want his son to be around stupid Thais. Doesn't want him to be a stupid Thai. That's great - be like me instead.

Originally Posted by Nabeel

You are sick, in your own words "wacked the fok out of my son". Hope he sees what you are and leaves. There is no reason to do that to anyone - let alone your own son.

You do need some help, get it soon son.

Bollix, wacked the fok is nothing more than an expression and none of us was there so we don't know the background, but the best parent with the best intentions will always make mistakes - which does not mean in this instance it was wrong, or right, only that's the way it turned out.

Does your perfect world have all kids growing up in a cocoon protected from physical contact or even verbal criticism, in case the fragile brats end up with a complex? My satangs say if it's a tossup between education and a 'complex', go for education and hope this gives him the appreciation and understanding to cope with the baggage, if any, later on in life.

Yours is a typical nanny mentality that removes the responsibility of consequences for one's own actions and squarely blames society, the environment or the goldfish next door.

There can be no clearcut right or wrong, but one thing for sure is that we need to realise every kid is unique, which means different, and break from social strictures that demand nothing less than blanket protection of all children from real life. Better to set things straight early on rather than later or too late, when the kid is bonded with negative and often destructive habits and attitudes.


Was I bad guy for turning a blind eye when, naturally at different times, each of my kids, nieces and nephews turned to marijuana? No? How about if I encouraged them and even supplied it, would that make me bad? Can you answer without knowing the background?

Originally Posted by Nabeel

Oh no left myself open to a red from the sad btards on this forum. Go on, come round and give me a red - the best an uneducated man can do, is strike out.

No red, just the hope that you figure sooner rather than later that parents are the best hope for society, not an all embracing attitude of rights over common sense or protection over education.

Q: At what age is it acceptable to beat your children up?
A: Beat and beat up, not the same connotation, but that's down to the parents, not you, me, or the social workers.

Q: What is the maximum acceptable injury you feel justified to inflict.
A: Nominal, not permanent or life threatening, mostly a bruised ego and the understanding that whatever caused it is not acceptable.

Q: Where is the line drawn?
A: See the above.

Amy's mother, Tina Hunt, 26, was given a 12-month suspended sentence for allowing the death of a child and child cruelty. She admitted the charges.

A telling quote, and too common for my liking.

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

I always deserved my beatings and took them like a man.

Which is what it turned me into, not some knife-weilding yob who can't throw two simple punches.

Fok Pat,

you better harden the fok up mate as you got to belt the piss out of JJ in the Onnut car park.

Quote of the week...

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Never did me any harm, my Thai mum had a stick specifically for the purpose, my dad just used his hands.

so, do not beat your kids, unless you want them to turn out like Pat

My old man never ever hit me , he did blow his load one time and threw a road sweeping broom in my general direction. Foking shocker of a shot as it missed me by miles and he foked his arm at the same time.

Now my mother was a different kettle of fish as when I was being a real twat she would blow her load and smash me a little ripper, not with a bottle but just her hand.


Loved my mum as she never ever attacked me when I didn't deserve it, foking too bad she died as she was a top sort.

Originally Posted by dirtydog

I feel like a real piece of shite, you don't punch kids.....

I'm glad you feel that way.

There is a big difference between smacking a naughty child and beating a kid.

You need to tell him sorry and explain why, the college thing may have been bothering you but to beat him for not knowing how to wire a plug is DAMN unfair.

Originally Posted by Norton

Good you feel like a piece of shit so will be easy to mend. Simply tell him you over reacted and are very sorry. Let it rest a few days and explain to him he is being given the chance to go to school and needs to take learning serious.

true enough.

Originally Posted by dirtydog

then today he said he couldn't rewire a plug, it annoyed me too much, he is doing electronics at college.

My ex has a 'degree' in electrical engineering and can't wire a plug or understand the basics of how a house is wired, despite having 'studied' it. It seems to be the norm at Thai schools for students to graduate not knowing fek all about the subject.

Sorry, but I am on the "DD fucked up" side.

I do support physical disciplining on kids - BUT - never, ever with a fist, and only on the legs or buttocks - and especially NEVER on the head. Ideally (and this is the hardest part) never in anger - then its assault, not corrective punishment. Alway talk afterwards (immediately) about WHY. What did they do wong, and why you had to punish them.

Lastly, if you are still physically discipling your kids when they are 16/17/18 - give up. You lost already.

Originally Posted by nidhogg

Alway talk afterwards (immediately) about WHY

My parents never had to reason with or console me after I got a slapping.

I knew why I was receiving and they knew why they were administering and not much to talk about really. It was up to me to remember why I got disciplined in the first place and so it would not happen again.

Too much feckin talk and no action these days and thats why the youth of today are collectively walking around with a huge chip on their shoulder.

Smashing a child when you are drunk.......? Well I reckon that person needs more help than the child.

Originally Posted by dirtydog

I have just whacked the fok out of my son, well, not that bad as he aint down and bleeding, second time in 15 years, do kids need a good beating every now and again?

Yes, you did well... Have a green.

DD, its only twice in so many years and I doubt it will ever happen again.

give your kid a good slap is fine. World has gone far too politically correct. If I ever have a kid one day. I expect to give it a good slap to keep it in line when he or she crosses the line.

Originally Posted by gjbkk

DD, its only twice in so many years and I doubt it will ever happen again.

Herein lies the fokin problem. He's not doing it enough! Been letting the kid get away with it.

IN all seriousness - sit him down and apologize man to man... No need to be a big poove and get all tearful but just apologize. How old is he?

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by dirtydog

then today he said he couldn't rewire a plug, it annoyed me too much, he is doing electronics at college.

My ex has a 'degree' in electrical engineering and can't wire a plug or understand the basics of how a house is wired, despite having 'studied' it. It seems to be the norm at Thai schools for students to graduate not knowing fek all about the subject.

Truer words never spoken! It's the OJT (On Job Training) later, provided there's a solid mentoring system, that works. Very, very few Tech School graduate mechanics ever get past the interview at, say, Toyota. There is however a 2nd tier Thai Tech College system which is truly solid, where top technicians after a few years at work go to study to advance in their jobs: 'la creme de la creme', so to speak, with solid credentials. In Chiangmai, one of these recognized colleges (Thai name escapes me) is at the base of Doi Suthep on Huey Kaew Road near the police station.
IMHO any parent worried about lack of motivation to study by their offspring might arrange a private 'tour' at a suitable service center such as the electrical outlet 'Amorn', 'Siam TV' (Electronic Plaza), any of the large Japanese auto dealers, or any one of many export companies such as in the Lamphun Industrial estate where many quality items, even aircraft fittings, are made and shipped worldwide. A chat over lunch with motivated workers may do wonders. Some tech colleges do arrange a 2 month OJT at various businesses, but this happens in the last year - too late to correct a failing attitude, and appears to be stressful on students as their abilities or lack therof are readily apparent; with possibly 1 out of 40 being asked to .return at grad for an interview. For what it's worth...cheers

Kids aint just kids. They go through different stages of mental understanding as they grow older and the punishment needs to fit the kids level of understanding to be effective.
Sometimes a growling raised voice is enough for a five year old to behave. If its ignored a spontaneous slap on the bottom is perfectly acceptable (IMO). But if it goes past that with the little ones and becomes a battle of wills, its time to call time out and put some distance between the warring parties. Like shutting the kid in his/her room.

Little kids don't understand mental punishment that goes on way past the point of conflict like cutting pocket money or depriving of other future privileges. All they see is a parent who next day wants to be all loving and caring but is still carrying this grudge for something that is over and done with.

As kids get older they have to learn about the way punishment in society works.
The punishment is metered out in a more calculated way. EG: the cop doesn't bash you for speeding. You get a ticket and if you don't pay it you go to court and if you still don't pay the ticket plus court costs you loose your licence or go to jail.

Trying to impose corporal punishment on a teenager means the level of force has to be escalated to have an effect. It becomes violence rather than disipline when the son is almost adult size. A father beating an adolescent with closed fists indicates the father is more out of control than the youth and is unlikely to have that desired effect.

If I were in DDs shoes right now, I would be sitting down with the lad and having a deep and meaningful heart to heart talk about the future and agreeing on some rules (and punishments). An apology wouldnt go astray either.