Out of the mouths of babes...

**November Rain** · 02-10-2008, 06:54 AM

Thought it might be interesting to have a thread simply about the funny, cute or strangely profound things that children say.

For instance, littl'un (7) and I have been discussing what he'd like to do when he grows up. It was decided (by him) that he wanted to be a policeman in UK - as long as they'd let him drive a police car (he likes the UK police cars better). A few days later, we get this little gem: "Mummy, I don't want to be a policeman anymore", "No? What do you want to be, then?" "I want to be a rubbishman & ride on a rubbish truck!" I can only hope he grows out of that ambition...

He has also decided that he will be 18 when he has his first girlfriend and she will be English "She has to be English, cos you are, Mummy" and has been asking me for advice on chat-up lines (presumably so he can practice). "If I want a girlfriend and see a nice girl, how do I ask her? Do I just say 'Do you have a boyfriend?' and if she doesn't, then I'm her boyfriend?"

Anyone have some to share?

**TizMe** · 02-10-2008, 07:15 AM

I was sitting having a meal with my daughter and my mother. My daughter had started school 2 days earlier. She got up from the table and exclaimed "I'm going for a piss!".

I think coffee came out of my Mum's nose.

She then innocently explained that, that's what they say at school.

**MeMock** · 02-10-2008, 07:25 AM

This happened yesterday with my almost 3 year old:

ME "Can Daddy eat our nose"
HER "Nooooooo"
ME "Can Daddy eat your ear"
HER "Nooooooo"

Suddenly she does a fart

HER "Ariya (her name) Men Dot (fart) hahaha"
ME "Can Daddy eat your men dot?"
HER "Noooo Mai Aroy!"

**Sir Burr** · 02-10-2008, 07:37 AM

I was visiting a friend in Singapore and he lived in one of the HDB apartment blocks.
We decided we would go down and drink a couple of beers at the near-by hawker stall.
My friend decided he would take his five year old, kung-fu mad son with us.
We got into the elevator on the 10th floor and started to descend.
The elevator stopped at the sixth floor and a Malay lady in traditional dress got in.
The elevator doors closed and we resumed our descent.
Suddenly, my friend's son, tugs hard on his dad's sleeve, points at the Malay lady and says in a really loud voice "Look Dad, a Ninja".

There was a sharp intake of breath from myself and my friend, a mortified silence, then the Malay lady started laughing (God bless her).

**alphagirl** · 02-10-2008, 08:02 AM

I was driving past this building that has FIREPROOF WAREHOUSE in huge letter written across it. My twelve year old looks at it, looks at me, grins real big and says "hey mom, you want test that out?" I couldn't help but laugh at her twisted sense of humor.

**Marmite the Dog** · 02-10-2008, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

He has also decided that he will be 18 when he has his first girlfriend and she will be English "She has to be English, cos you are, Mummy" and has been asking me for advice on chat-up lines (presumably so he can practice). "If I want a girlfriend and see a nice girl, how do I ask her? Do I just say 'Do you have a boyfriend?' and if she doesn't, then I'm her boyfriend?"

Some fatherly advice for your wee man.

I usually use, "Get your knickers on; you've pulled." Might not work in the UK though...

**Travelmate** · 02-10-2008, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by MeMock

This happened yesterday with my almost 3 year old:

ME "Can Daddy eat our nose"
HER "Nooooooo"
ME "Can Daddy eat your ear"
HER "Nooooooo"

Suddenly she does a fart

HER "Ariya (her name) Men Dot (fart) hahaha"
ME "Can Daddy eat your men dot?"
HER "Noooo Mai Aroy!"

I don't get it.

**Whiteshiva** · 02-10-2008, 09:08 AM

Last night - one of the twins (3 years old) suddenly cried out in his sleep - "I want drink daddy's beer!" and then went quiet again.

I dunno whether to be amused or worried......

**good2bhappy** · 02-10-2008, 09:22 AM

I know this is a bit off topic, but my little boy (1 year old) took his first steps a few days ago. It was amazing to watch him come tottering and swaying into my arms!

**MeMock** · 02-10-2008, 09:42 AM

Watching then learn to walk is so much fun - congrats junior good2bhappy!

**MeMock** · 02-10-2008, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by Travelmate

Originally Posted by MeMock

This happened yesterday with my almost 3 year old:

ME "Can Daddy eat our nose"
HER "Nooooooo"
ME "Can Daddy eat your ear"
HER "Nooooooo"

Suddenly she does a fart

HER "Ariya (her name) Men Dot (fart) hahaha"
ME "Can Daddy eat your men dot?"
HER "Noooo Mai Aroy!"

I don't get it.

Which bit don't you get?

**jandajoy** · 02-10-2008, 09:44 AM

My ex has a 4 year old niece. At a Sunday lunch one day (that I wasn't attending) The little girls father asked where I was.

The little girl looked up and said, in a very plaintive voice,

"He's gone to Heaven"

I'd gone to Devon to see my dad.

**Travelmate** · 02-10-2008, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by MeMock

Which bit don't you get?

The last bit. Spoken in a different language.

**MeMock** · 02-10-2008, 03:20 PM

Sorry, Mai Aroy = tastes bad.

**Travelmate** · 02-10-2008, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by MeMock

Sorry, Mai Aroy = tastes bad.

Oh! hahaha

very amusing!

**November Rain** · 02-10-2008, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by November Rain

He has also decided that he will be 18 when he has his first girlfriend and she will be English "She has to be English, cos you are, Mummy" and has been asking me for advice on chat-up lines (presumably so he can practice). "If I want a girlfriend and see a nice girl, how do I ask her? Do I just say 'Do you have a boyfriend?' and if she doesn't, then I'm her boyfriend?"

Some fatherly advice for your wee man.

I usually use, "Get your knickers on; you've pulled." Might not work in the UK though...

Which would you prefer to be called? Loong Marmers or Uncle Marmers? You are now littl'un's official male role model... (

)

BTW, I thought it was 'Get your coat, you've pulled'? Aaaah, I see - LOS vs UK versions

**Jet Gorgon** · 03-10-2008, 12:24 AM

I don't get that line, be it yours or Marmers.

**daveboy** · 03-10-2008, 12:38 AM

Mine on Saturday his 5

Me: Mat don't walk on the grass
Mat: Why not Daddy?
Me: Because its not our garden son
Mat: Not because its covered in dogs shit dad
Me: No response (snigger)

**jizzybloke** · 03-10-2008, 12:59 AM

^

**jandajoy** · 03-10-2008, 01:28 AM

Bit of a sad one this.

Talking with a group of 7 year old aboriginal kids.

So what happens when you die?

Go to heaven.

Where's that then?

Up in the sky.

OK, what's it like up there?

Oh it's real good. Lots of food and stuff.

And?

And music and happy people.

Will you go there?

No, it's only white people up there. I seen pictures. Only white fellas.

**flash** · 03-10-2008, 01:35 AM

I was in a pub the other week during the day watching a match, there was a 7 year old standing pissing in the toilet i went to the urinal and was doing my business, the little man finished what he was doing and went to walk out. I said flush the toilet after you are done. he roared at me "suck my dick big nose"
cheeky little bastard!

**Marmite the Dog** · 03-10-2008, 03:07 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

Which would you prefer to be called? Loong Marmers or Uncle Marmers? You are now littl'un's official male role model...

Poor wee soul...

**Jet Gorgon** · 03-10-2008, 04:00 AM

^ That is sad.

**nedwalk** · 03-10-2008, 04:47 AM

Originally Posted by flash

"suck my dick big nose" cheeky little bastard!

i would have been hard pressed not to flush the little bastard!

**November Rain** · 03-10-2008, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon

I don't get that line, be it yours or Marmers.

Well, in my version it's like the woman's entire reason for being in the club/pub/whatever is to meet a guy. So, the guy is telling her that it's time to go (with him, of course). Her mission - meeting him - has been accomplished. The sort of line that would actually attract a cool stare or a 'feck off!'
You'd have to ask Marmers about his - I'm assuming the young ladies he meets don't wear many clothes while at work...

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