Thread: Korat Zoo: A Hyena Tale

The zoo is located about 25 kilometres outside of Korat city heading towards Pak Thong Chai.

Entrance fee, 70 baht for Thai nationals, 90 baht for foreigners and 10 baht for children. Not too terrible as far as racial discrimination goes, I've definitely experienced worse. Take Khao Yai National Park, for example - at one point those daylight theives were operating on a 20/400 basis unless you had a work permit handy to spank them on the head with.

The zoo covers an impressive area, I'd estimate three hundred plus rai, so we hired one of these golf buggies to get around the place and because they weighed in at a sexually expletive inducing 300 baht per hour, I felt it prudent to tackle the zoo at speed.



The first thing I noticed about the place was the dire signage system. Instead of eye-catching advertisements likeTIGERS HERE, we were subjected to a series of pathetic, half-baked boards with scrawl such as 'there's a fucking crocodile around here somewhere' written on them.

Alas, I continued to manoever the buggy at pace and eventually we found some hippos:

I hope this thread gets better...

...although Mr Slap's new literary device of changing font size is pretty impressive...

Just building it up for the mind-blowing finale.

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

I hope this thread gets better...

I can't even see that Hippo's tail...

I've canceled my evening out, and am now eagerly awaiting the rest of the story; I'll just make a cup of tea and open some of my Xmas biscuits and luxury fruit cake - back in 5.

Because the signs were so horrendously shite, I had to use my Safari guide instincts which I keep stored in a little cache along with my Nomad Siberian Cattle Herder instincts and managed to zone in on our next animal.

This giraffe, for want of a better word, was a complete cnut. For fifteen baht, one can feed the giraffes bunches of long green beans, but this fellow here wasn't allowing the rest of his herd a look in, he literally trampled over one of his off-spring to get to them. So whilst I lured him in with two of the beans, I covertly bunched the rest up in my fist and launched them into the middle of the pen for his mates to enjoy.

^ You can see him eyeing up the two beans in that shot, totally unaware of the balled feast in my right hand..

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

I'll just make a cup of tea

Forget that shit, Betsy. This is worthy of the single malt..

^ the christmas whisky?

Originally Posted by somtamslap

You can see him eyeing up the two beans in that shot, totally unaware of the balled feast in my right hand..

You think that fuking huge nose can't smell it out...

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

the christmas whisky?

It might be in good form to pop some Aled Jones on the headphones.

300baht an hour, It was only 500b for the day!

^ I did wonder about the 300 baht/hour, presumed he was taking literary license, again...

Next on the list was this tapir. Not only did it respond to my feigned mating call, a skill I had previously learnt on an expedition to Borneo which featured underwear fashioned from bramble bushes, by getting up from its pit, but it also...wait for it....took several conservative sips of water from the supplied source. Fucking RESULT!!

Originally Posted by jizzybloke

300baht an hour, It was only 500b for the day!

Well, that's gone up massively then. 300 for the hour or 500 for 2. Theiving twats.

That's one unhappy looking giraffe.


Still, a life of being abused by the Thai staff, until you eventually die and they eat you, can't be too rewarding.

& why is Slaps about 2 feet taller than the Giraffe??? Is it a Thai pigmy-giraffe?

I wasn't sure if the quite remarkable experience we were honoured enough to share with the tapir could be beaten, but we continued determined it could at least be matched.
The elephant enclosure was our next port of call. They looked desparately depressed.
I surmised the that the Feng Shui of the enclosure absolutely reeked of negative Chi and took it upon myself to deftly wittle an image of Ganesh from a nearby stick and hung it at the entrance.

This of course elicited a rejouvenation not unlike a butterfly separating from its cocoon. My work here was done.

One of the highlights of the tour for me was watching these amateur snake handlers attempting to lure a large bastard cobra from a box. As you can see from the picture, I parked the buggy in close proximity to what was essentially a seminar of sorts and lurked with voyeuristic pleasure.

Fatalities never crossed my mind, but I wanted at least one of the rookie reptile handlers to mess themselves due to being ferociously lunged at..



Sadly this wasn't on the Cuthbert the Cobra's agenda.

All this and I haven't even reached the Hyena finale yet! You lot must be shatting yourselves with exicitement, I know I am.

Cobra's den:

You could have used the zoom button Slap...

It the one with the magnifying glass and + & - button

Originally Posted by Carrabow

You could have used the zoom button Slap...

Bugger that! I wasn't going to make any sudden movements!

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Originally Posted by Carrabow

You could have used the zoom button Slap...

Bugger that! I wasn't going to make any sudden movements!

yeah, you will get too close ...eh?

Originally Posted by Carrabow

yeah, you will get too close ...eh?

I wasn't going to take any risks in THAT scenario!

I shall prepare your palates for the grand finale with a picture of a hyena with his head up an elephant's anus..

^ Is this elephant dead or is it some kind of Belgian sexual happenings...

^ It's a bit like when you see certain species of bird pecking fleas from cattle.