Thread: Passage from Dana (pinched from stickies gaff)

I like this guy! Comical

She comes to bed with the towel on. You know what I mean. The Thai women's towel that you can't get off with a crow bar and blasting caps. I don't say anything. To bed. No sex. OK, I've been down this road before. No problem. Next morning after paying for a night of inexplicable no sex I say La Gawn and Choke Dee and wave good-bye. Nothing lasts forever. I don't expect to ever see her again. Except this is Thailand. I hadn't gone to the bar that night to pick her up (Our affair was over remember?) and at 4am I get a call from the downstairs concierge that there is a woman here to see me. "What the fxxk?" No idea who it could be. It is Nom on the front steps of the hotel and she is crying. And then she is hanging on me and she is crying and carrying on. "I love you!" yadda, yadda, yadda, cry, sniffle, cry, "I love you." etc. Well, I know I have this effect on women but it seems a little over the top from a woman who 24 hours ago came to bed with the towel on. And bye the way, where has she been between the bar closing and 4am? I decide I don't want to know. I'm tired and it is my last day in Pattaya and I don't need any more sex and I am a little unsure what to do with this new thing. A soi dog lying in the street opens one eye and then closes it again. He's seen it before. The night concierge who is not exactly Captain Happy is staring at us out the window. An old crone shuffles by. I feel like I'm in a black and white Hollywood film from the 40's. My arms are around her and I am vainly enjoying the theater of the thing but I am still wavering. Then she whispers in my ear those magic words "I have sex with you no money!" BINGO JACKPOT WE HAVE A WINNER. Freebie number two and it is only my 10th day of vacation. That works out to 73 freebies in a year. 730 freebies in 10 years! At an average of 1500 baht per long time' that is a savings of 1,095,000 baht. In we go.

Me at the Bumrungrad hospital in Bangkok talking to a Thai physician with an Australian accent (educated in Perth and has a son in Ohio)--

Dr: How can I help you Dana?
Me: Well Doc, as you can see all of the skin is peeling off of all of my penis and I am a little worried.
Dr: How did this happen?
Me: Well I was butt fucking a tranny and I used JOY brand dishwashing soap for a lubricant and . . .

. . . . . ( Now the Dr's head drops down and he is silently staring at his clipboard ). . . . .

Me: Oh come on Doc! This can't be the first time you heard this story!

some 1 laugh or say something cause i feel a right c*nt now