divorce

[lost the plot]

can anybody tell me if phillippino women can devorce once married?some web sites say no,and some girls i talk to there say yes!!!whats the truth??
do they just separate?,and the girl gets left with the kids,while the guy finds another?

[kingwilly]

you wanna marry one ?

silly man.

[lost the plot]

nope,just asking,

[harrybarracuda]

They're catholics. They get thrown out of the church if they divorce, don't they?

[Jesus Jones]

My understanding is that women can not divorce their man, unless he divorces her.

[Davis Knowlton]

OP: There is no divorce in the Philippines. Period. Annulments are possible, but costly. Normally the husband splits, leaving the kids with the wife, who then dumps them on her mother.

[BobR]

^ That may be ugly, but the system at home is worse. When I was a lawyer, people had to fight for custody of their children, even if the other parent was a good parent. It was a matter of financial survival. Contrary to the PC nonsense that says otherwise, child support awards are so huge that the non-custodial parent lives in poverty while his wages are automatically garnished.

The no fault part also assured that even if she caused the divorce, she could, and likely would still get the kids, the alimony and the child support payments. fault in the divorce and child custody proceedings is irrelevant.

[Davis Knowlton]

^Example: I worked for the federal government for 28 years. My first wife was an American (daughter of an ex-pat that I met and married, and divorced abroad). If I had been married to her for ten years while I was in federal service, she would have been entitled to 50% of my retirement at the time of my retirement, and for the rest of her life, or until she remarried. No matter if you married her early in your career, paid her way through graduate school, she lived in huge houses abroad with maids, etc, and then you worked for another fifteen years after the divorce and never heard a word from her again - no matter - once you retire, she still gets 50%. No negotiations, no court, no nothing - the federal government just sends her half your retirement each month. And, she never remarried. So, if I lived thirty years or so after retirement, she would have pulled in about a million $ US, just for making my life a living hell. I got out at nine years three months - if she had been even a bit bright, she would have found a way to stall it for nine months, but she couldn't be bothered to do the paperwork. End result. She got zip from my retirement. Divorce granted in a Thai court - they only grant divorces; they don't do settlements. I did the settlement - I kept the house, she got $50,000 in cash to go away. That was it. 50K one-time payment.

[Aussie Tigger]

Firstly do not marry a Filipino and certainly if you error in that do not take her to your country.All of the nice feminine caring traits you thought she possessed when you met her in the Philippines will quickly disappear.After they get their Permanent visa you are on the road to being the victim.Personal experience by making the same mistake twice and also observing Aussie husbands who get deserted while in the marriage in preference for the Filipino group she will quickly get involved with.Once they get their permanent visas and control you thought you had goes.If you stay in the marriage once it turns sour you will pay big time later when you get hit with the financial settlement that the Aussie courts award these ungrateful blood sucking leeches.If you get attracted to one in the Philippines live with her there where you will have some degree of control or at least you can exit without cost if and when she turns feral.There is no divorce in the Philippines unless you have the contacts or a large amount of cash to part with to get it annulled.Be smart take on board my advice beware of this race in forming any permanent relationship with.I can honestly say that I do not know of one husband back in Australia who does not after a short time regret marrying their filipina wife.

[Davis Knowlton]

^Guess it all depends on who you marry, and who you are yourself. I am married to a Filipina - have been for twenty years, and it's all been good. That said, I have been in military clubs in the US and watched the wives, mostly Filipina and Thai, burning up the monthly check on the slot machines while the husbands are gone on deployment. Filipinas aren't any different than any other women (despite your own negative experiences); I know far more horror stories involving American wives than I do about Filipinas. What seems to happen when you take them out of the Philippines, and if they are uneducated and come from the bars, is that they get hooked up with other Filipinas who are the same, and they feed off of each other - and the husbands sit back and put up with the shit. Perhaps if they spent as much time analyzing who they were getting married to as they did in buying a new car, things would work out better.

[Aussie Tigger]

Nice to hear DAVIS that you have had good fortune with your wife.I have to disagree though with you on your comment that they are no different than western wives. This is of course generally speaking.Most western women do not have as their first priority their own group as do the Filipinos.Their involvement with the other filipinos is number one to them for with them they find emotional security even though most of the women do their best to undermine anyone who is better off than they are.You state this though in your comments.You have an improved chance if they are better educated in general terms.Guys who marry filipinas get sucked in for they have no peers in acting or turning on the emotions.In my humble opinion the only males who have a chance of understanding a filipina is a filipino guy.Most foreigners in Australia that I have observed treat their filipina wife far better than any filipino man would. But the saying they treat kindness as a show of weakness to be exploited and taken advantage of rings true for me. There are always exceptions and good luck to you if this is your situation.

[Davis Knowlton]

^Not really disagreeing with your basic premise, Tigger. I have seen many Thai and Filipina wives in the US band together, and it can be a vicious little circle, as you said. My wife and I have lived in Thailand, and in the Philippines. We have never lived in the US, although my wife and kids are US citizens. My wife has no interest in living there, nor do I. We have enough money to live in the US if we desired, but neither of us particularly like the US, other than for a visit now and then, and quite frankly usually visit other places rather than go all the way to the US, except to see my Mom. Our standard of living here is simply better, the twins go to a good school without guns, gangs and drugs, and are getting a fairly good education which I augment as necessary. My wife, like most Filipinas, has a very large family, but doesn't like most of them and thus I have avoided any of the family bullshit which many endure. At some point, I guess my kids will go to college in the US, or possibly Australia, but until then, we are all quite happy here. I know some Filipina wives in the US who are exceptional people, including the wife of one of my best friends who has been nursing him through terminal cancer for the past three years. I also know some horrible slags who have taken their husbands for everything. I just object to over-generalization, I guess.

[Aussie Tigger]

Good post I don't think we are far apart in out thinking Davis,agree over generalization not wise, it is just that I have seen so many of them take Aussie guys for a ride. You have been wise in living away from your homeland and seem to have struck the jackpot.In Australia the filipinos have according to the legal counsel I have been involved with in my financial settlement dispute have the worst reputation among the Asians.In the Philippines a smart foreigner can protect himself but in Australia and I would guess the States it is not the case.My former filipina mother in-laws were as you describe the wife of one of your best friends.An older woman perhaps has a longer memory of the hardships they faced and therefore are more appreciative than some of their daughters.

[rickschoppers]

^ That may be ugly, but the system at home is worse. When I was a lawyer, people had to fight for custody of their children, even if the other parent was a good parent. It was a matter of financial survival. Contrary to the PC nonsense that says otherwise, child support awards are so huge that the non-custodial parent lives in poverty while his wages are automatically garnished.

The no fault part also assured that even if she caused the divorce, she could, and likely would still get the kids, the alimony and the child support payments. fault in the divorce and child custody proceedings is irrelevant.

Yep, been there done that. I was the non-customdial parent that lived in poverty for over 8 years and it really does suck hard. I like the Thai way much better and it makes more sense, except the Thai mother's usually get stuck with the kids who are then passed off to relatives while Mom goes out to try and make some money to support them. Or, they find a rich fagang to take on the whole lot. The Thai Dad goes on with life and is not enslaved to child support unless he is able, which rarely happens. No good solution, but no end to this happening either.

[CaptainNemo]

Trying to avoid generalising too much: there seems to a particularly predatory culture amongst some Filipina women that doesn't seem as prevalent in Thai or other SEAsian women. They seem to hunt foreign husbands in a way that other Asian women don't.

[Davis Knowlton]

^Probably true. My experiences with Thai women is that many of them don't necessarily want to leave Thailand and, if they do, they don't transplant very well. Filipinas are desperate to get out of the Philippines and, other than a slave job elsewhere in Asia or in the ME, marrying a foreigner is the only ticket out.

[Norton]

My experience same. Has to do with culture and language skills I believe. Filipinas have better English skills and are culturally similar to west given Christian up bringing vs Buddhist. Pop and entertainment culture is pretty much Americanized as well.

[hawaiianbrian]

Well the question was, can you diviorce a Philipina? The answer is YES in any country that allows divorce. The Philippines does not have divorce but if you have money and connections you can get an annullment. As in any country be sure of who you marry, it is a huge, generally costly step and a pain in the ass to get out of if you find you F[at]&K UP. There are good and bad women in every country just the same as there are good and bad men. Having lived in many different countries, I find it hard to say any one of them has the market cornered on either side of the coin. Good luck and keep your wits about you!

[CaptainNemo]

Well the question was, can you diviorce a Philipina? ....There are good and bad women in every country just the same as there are good and bad men. Having lived in many different countries, I find it hard to say any one of them has the market cornered on either side of the coin.

The old relativist "Argumentum ad Moderatio"... complete twaddle; different cultures produce different tendencies, and some of these tendencies are better than others; ergo, some cultures are better than others (admittedly, varying with the topic in question).

Implicit in my response was that Filipinas have a range of specific incentives to hunt foreign men... both to escape economically (and status-ly), and because Philippino divorce law is so favourable to them; as well as extra cultural norms on top of the cultural baggage common to many in that region of the world (part of their culture will include passing on info about how they can use the Phil divorce laws to their advantage, when they gather for some "girl talk".).
The economic and status things are prevalant all over, but you can't ignore the practical bits like bits of law and culture that produce particular outcomes.
It's for similar reasons (law and culture), that I wouldn't recommend getting involved with Japs or Koreans... just try and acquaint yourself with a more educated Thai or Indo bird... (or Brazilian even); learn a bit about the language and culture, and retain some peace of mind.

The average Filipina's English skills and general connectedness to the west makes them better equipped to run all kinds of "love" related scams in their little covens gossiping about what they can get out of various scenarios.
Thai covens tend to be more about the "ghosts" and "dreams" and whether the man is being deceitful in some way... seems a more defensive position.
Some cultures just tend to breed vultures... Phil and Viets and Chi seem to be that way inclined in my dishonourable, humble, and meagre experience (hamming up the orientalisms for you).
I tend to find Phil blokes "hard work" as well (...CJVK blokes too, for totally different reasons).... and it's not just for their funny little voices either =P.

[Bobcock]

They get thrown out of the church if they divorce, don't they?

Divorce met with a nice reward.....Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

[Davis Knowlton]

^^You mention "how they can use Filipino divorce laws to their favor" and "that Filipino divorce law is so favorable to them". How can that be when they have no "divorce laws" in the Philippines as there is no divorce allowed here?