Originally Posted by
dirk diggler
I have taken Fentanyl.
I was given a 24hr slow release patch by a doctor at BKK Hospital who told me to put it on before I went to bed and come back for casual surgery on my knee the next day. Basically just thorough cleaning of an open wound in my knee as a result of a dirt bike fuck up. Basically it was going to sting like a bastard.
He said I could shower with it but not too hot and don't go into a sauna or anything like that.
I remember lying in bed and starting to feel pretty woozy. I though that it would be a waste of this just to go to sleep but I was asleep pretty soon regardless.
The next morning I was a bit spacey but not too bad. Morning feeling. My Mrs started knocking up breakfast and I went out to the car to install the baby seat in prep for the 40 min drive to BKK Hospital in Hat Yai. Let me tell you, that baby seat is a nightmare to install and the wee black Honda Jazz had been sitting in the baking sun for a few hours... it was hot as balls in there.
As you can imagine, I start to get a good sweat on as I wrestled this thing down, cue open pours and a good flow of fentanyl to the system. I went back in and sat down to breakfast. Bacon, eggs and those smiley-face tattie things grinning at me. I'm grinning back and my eyes are following my Mrs as she's walking back and for. Eventually she stops and goes 'WHAT??"
I'M FUCKED AND YOU'RE DRIVING TO HAT YAI.
I remember sitting in the passenger seat with my hands behind the headrest, taking deep breaths and saying 'holy fcuk' a lot.
Apparently the doctor was scraping away at my knee while I was telling him I remember him from his mobile phone shop in Dubai. Next minute I'm challenging him to a joust on skeleton horses.
Once he was done I took the patch off and put it back in it's packet for later but I put it in the bin when I'd come round a bit.
We had to stop at our cafe so the mrs could bake some pies and a German friend came in for his lunch. Trying to hold a conversation and act interested in his shit was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.
I later googled 'Fentanyl' and cannot to this day understand why the fuck the doctor would have given me that shit as suppose to a couple of local anaesthetic jabs.
Twat.