Thread: Brexit - It's Still On!

If an imbecilic retard freed from a lifetime of mute stupidity could communicate his thoughts that post of yours Nemo would probably approximate the incoherence of the gibberish likely to ensue. They're all recognisable words but make no sense to anyone currently occupying the space-time continuum known as now.

Are you left alone a lot? You appear to think like the mental equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting.

and after yet another of the many paroxysms of spite we have had to endure from the "diplomats" of brussels.

Theresa May reportedly plans to offer about £40 billion of our money in order to bring the European Union to the table to discuss whether it wishes to trade freely with Britain after we leave in 2019. I listened to a German MEP last week describe these negotiations as “a French commissioner insulting an entire nation”, and heard a British MP call the EU’s obsession with money “disreputable”. The result is not humiliating for us, but for them. If I were Mrs May, this is the letter I would write to accompany the offer.


Dear Angela, Emmanuel and others (cc Donald, Jean-Claude, Michel),

I enclose a cheque for £40 billion as agreed. However, you will notice that it is post-dated March 30, 2019, and that it will bounce without a free-trade agreement between us, as I mentioned on the telephone. We are delighted to be in a position to be so unilaterally generous, and sorry that you find yourselves in such dire need of our help.

As you will recall, under the Lisbon Treaty, the European Union is a legal “person” responsible for its own financial commitments, so we legally owe you not a penny after the current budget ends in 2020, a fact confirmed by a House of Lords committee. You may remember that your opening request for approximately €100 billion was taken apart line-by-line in a three-hour presentation at one of the bilateral meetings by one of our better civil servants.

As an EU source told a newspaper at the time, “everyone was completely flabbergasted that this young man from Whitehall was saying that the EU’s preparation on the financial settlement was ‘inadequate’. It did not go down well.” But the young man was right wasn’t he? We have since given him a bonus.

Nevertheless, as I say, we are prepared to go beyond the letter of the law and make a charitable donation, doubling the £20 billion we actually owe until the end of 2020. We cannot help feeling that a little more financial discipline on your part might have avoided the need for such a large sum. Perhaps you were misled by people such as Tony Blair and Nick Clegg into thinking that the result of our referendum could be reversed?

For instance, we notice that all Eurocrats can draw generous final-salary pensions when they get to the end of their lucrative careers, throughout which they will have had handsome allowances and expenses and have paid specially low income tax at a flat rate. In Britain we regard this as regressive, or “unfair”, and are unhappy that hard-pressed British workers in, say, Sunderland should now be asked to guarantee the pensions of such wealthy people, when they have no such guarantee themselves. (£20 billion is the equivalent of a 4p one-off surcharge on income tax, by the way.)

We realise you cannot agree among yourselves whether to cut the budget or increase the national contributions once the second largest net contributor leaves the European Union, so you are desperate for us to help you out. That we have filled your coffers for 40 years in this way, always giving more than we received, might in some circles have elicited a measure of gratitude. However, we are surprised on looking back through the files to find no such letters of thanks, but rather quite a few reprimands, insults and aspersions.

We note that this has continued during the course of the negotiations, where David Davis has been the soul of cheerful politeness, repeatedly saying that he hopes the European Union thrives after we leave. By contrast, I don’t recall your side saying the same about us, but there have been many leaks and briefings to the effect that we are fools and idiots. Twice there have been silly insults passed to the press after dinners attended by me, which hardened the British people’s resolve to leave.

It is true that much of our media, especially the BBC, has been unhelpful in this respect, treating Michel Barnier’s opening positions as if they were final offers, relaying every European annoyance but mocking any British one, and implying that Mr Barnier is an infallible offspring of Albert Einstein and Mother Theresa, while Jean-Claude Juncker is the reincarnation of the Angel Gabriel himself.

Moreover, your reaction to my Florence speech in September, in which I promised that no country in the European Union would be worse off as a result of our leaving, was really unhelpful to your own cause. You could have said “that is a magnificent gesture and we thank you”, which would have built trust. Instead you said, in essence: “This offer is pocketed but nothing is given in return; you must do more.” I know you like to think of us as a province in a Napoleonic “continental system”, but I have to say that it took an almighty effort on the part of Mr Davis and myself not to tell you to get stuffed at that point.

This episode is, of course, the reason we insist on moving in lockstep this time. You will also notice that the cheque is drawn from our foreign aid budget (given the political chaos in Germany, Italy and Spain, this seems appropriate) and counts towards our 0.7 per cent of gross national income spend on aid. This means you will have to fill out forms certifying that the money was not wasted. These must be returned to the Department for International Development punctually, and failure to comply may result in fines. I am sure you will understand that this is necessary given that the money would otherwise have gone to help starving and sick people in Africa.

Dear friends, we were surprised that you chose to try to squeeze money out of us before even talking about our future relationship, in breach of the spirit of Article 50 (which requires you to “take account of the framework for [the] future relationship with the Union in the arrangements for withdrawal”), as this seemed to elevate bureaucratic priorities over the economic welfare of ordinary citizens. We have done the sums on no trade deal and find they make little difference to the gains we make from free trade with the rest of the world. So you should realise that we are offering this cheque and a trade deal out of goodwill as friendly neighbours.

Tons of love,

Theresa

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/c...20bn-gz25rbvzb

^ Insults aimed at the most inept PM in living memory have hardened the British people's resolve.





I didn't realise the times had such a taste for satire.

you dont have much idea about anything.

I know barefaced lies when I see them...

And lying turncoat c u n t s...

Bitter much Cy? Yes of course you are. Bloody socialist fool.

Brexiteer Logic: Muslims are scary, that's why we're leaving the EU, despite not having a single Muslim majority country in the bloc. Now, to make up for the economic shortfall we'll increase trade with Saudi and Pakistan.

Brexiteer reality: I am able to work in 28 countries, yet my life is profoundly average to dismally unsuccessful. I'll be blaming foreigners for being hardworking, better educated and less whiny.

^^ Piss off and plug that volcano, fatty.

The irony of that poster above is that a large influx of Turkish immigrants is more likely in the UK post Brexit.

Is Turkey no longer a candidate country then? Link to this revelation anyone.....

Originally Posted by Troy

The irony of that poster above is that a large influx of Turkish immigrants is more likely in the UK post Brexit.

Germany is there preferred destination and I'm sure Germany will love a few million more being the lovers of immigration that they are. As of course Merkels position on immigration has nothing to do with how she fared at the last election......

Pretty funny that Brexit = more Muslims. Can't wait for the UKIPPERS to get all triggered and meltdown like the sniveling snowflakes that they are. Just why are right wingers so bloody sensitive?

The country needs migrants, especially skilled ones. The problem is shifting all the feckless, fecund chavs and pikey bludgers.
The gene pool is festering with benthic twats.

Originally Posted by Troy

The irony of that poster above is that a large influx of Turkish immigrants is more likely in the UK post Brexit.

On what do you base your speculation, Troy?

Originally Posted by buriramboy

Is Turkey no longer a candidate country then? Link to this revelation anyone.....

Turkey's biggest supporter for joining the EU was the UK. Germany are far from friends, especially after they had some of their citizens jailed after the attempted coup. Erdogan also openly suggested people voted against Merkel in the last election. Throw in some obvious human rights violations and their route to full EU status is pretty much blocked.

The UK are in need of a migrant labour force, whatever the Ukip, Tories or Daily Express may wish you to believe. If a hard Brexit ensues due to UK government incompetence then no doubt EU citizens will be given limited access. Turkey has a lot to offer the UK in terms of a cheap labour market and cheap food. In a difficult world, where neither country is getting what they want, I can see a good chance of a partnership forming. With the knock-on effects of the Brexit vote starting to bite, I can see this is as a definite way out of the hole the UK have got themselves into.

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

WTF does spreadsheet phil know about economics? he's a PPE wanka! why on earth would anyone take a prediction from him seriously?!
https://www.ft.com/content/6bbfe496-...5-27219df83c97

The UK doesn't *have to* pay anything... there's no legally binding contract here. The EU are bunch of pisstaking corruptocrats who have run the EU economies into the ground, and undermined immigration laws across the EU.

The UK needs to go even harder than hard brexit, quit the fake talks, zero our tariffs and compete the shit out of the EU for every sector they are weak in - which is most of them. The objective being to force the collapse of the EU by prompting other countries to exit and join EFTA, which is a far more sensible organisation. Leave the French and Germans to play their bureaucratic empire-building game alone together without inflicting it on the rest of Europe.




Of course the EU has no qualms with trying to indulge in as much arm-twisting with any country, be it Ireland or Australia; but it is futile...



It has always seemed clear that the negotiations were insincere, and the EU's main objective is to put off any other country from doing it, whilst they bullshit their way towards constructing a hard brexit and trying to ensure that the blame is placed on the UK - it's EU passive aggressiveness - they make unreasonable stupid demands, and then throw their hands up when told to get focked, and keep doing it until the clock runs out, or better still the UK walks. The UK should never have indulged this bullshit, should have just stated WTO and zero tariffs on day 1, and then walked if it wasn't accepted within 24 hours. Business just needs to know where they stand, they don't need any special deal. All this 2-year thing does is create instabilty, and give airtime to remainiacs to attempt to undermine the democratically expressed will of the people of a member state that wants to leave.





there are no contractual terms, and if there were, the EU would have breached them repeatedly - when was the last time they had their books checked?!


Don't be so focking stupid, you hipster-racist prick, the country is already overpopulated with immigrants, and housing bubble is straining at its molecular bonds. What a shock when all those middles class guardian reading champagne socialist immigrant exploiting remainiacs have to watch their house prices crash from 10 or 20-times average earnings to half that... oh dear... have to live like the neanderthal brexiteer peasantry, trapped in persistent debt and living in a coastal shithole town, and send your kids to the local comp... no more the tourists of the ghetto they created, they'll have to live in it - oh how funny that will be!



You forgot your banjo... this story is a hilarious respinning of EU propaganda - expressing their anxiety about being outcompeted by the UK

Excellent post.
Absolutely spot on in all aspects.

So what you're saying is that Turkey is still a candidate country and one day regardless of how far away that day is they will join the EU. Glad that's cleared up.

Why do you keep mentioning hard Brexit as though it's still in dispute? How many people do you need to tell you we are leaving the single market and customs union?

^ Brexit is like a Humbug, hard on the outside and soft on the inside. Since you only scratch the surface you won't be disappointed with the 'hard' Brexit that the Tories end up selling you...

From reading this thread, I think different people have different interpretations of "hard Brexit". For me it means leaving the EU, leaving the single market and leaving the customs union. I suspect some people here interpret "hard Brexit" as leaving the EU with no trade deal. Perhaps there is even a third interpretation.

Originally Posted by Neverna

From reading this thread, I think different people have different interpretations of "hard Brexit". For me it means leaving the EU, leaving the single market and leaving the customs union. I suspect some people here interpret "hard Brexit" as leaving the EU with no trade deal. Perhaps there is even a third interpretation.

i've been wondering the same thing: what is a "hard brexit"?

IMO, it means the uk will make a new trade deal with the e.u. (like they are a new country) rather than being under a deadline to concede to the e.u.

We do about 50% of our business under WTO rules already.

Let's make it 100%

Not a biggie.

Big plans for the post Brexit economy...

https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/business-42131742

The government has said two deals to invest in the UK's biotech industry illustrate confidence in its industrial strategy, which it published on Monday.

MSD, known as Merck in North America, will support a new research centre in London creating around 950 new posts.

Germany's Qiagen will expand its investment in a genomics and diagnostics campus in Manchester.

Business Secretary Greg Clark said it represented "a huge vote of confidence" in the government's approach.

"People don't make the investments of this scale that are for the long term if they don't have the confidence that we are building in this country a very attractive base," he said.

UK is totally fucked