Wifes Complaints!

I get sick to the eye teeth of my wife complaining about sand !

If I put on a pair of flip flops to go and poison the grass, poison the insects or water anything...outside, I get this sanctimonious shit about "Take care of your feet" "whatch your hands for poison", "Be careful of those snakes my HERO!", and "Watch out for those ants you stud!"

So I put on a pair of lace up boots, some cheap shit from Carrefoure, taking care of myself!

But fuck me! I forget to take them off or I need to run upstairs quickly to catch the phone...forgetting to take off the "recommended boots"

Boy, the story changes dramatically!

"Who has put all this sand here?"....You would have thought I had transported Karon fucking beach here...a few grains...but they hate it...try and leave a few grains in the bed...they become sleepless and irrational...

In the end I told her to go and shut up and imagine she was on a beach in Phuket...funny how Thais actually hate the sea the beach the sun, in fact everything they have!

I am just buying time a little, in five or ten minutes everyone will be asleep, then I can switch off that CRAP TV THAI, or some fucking retard cartoon..HALO or whatever, and actually watch a decent movie...

The car is in for a repair tomorrow....so expect some posts about shoddy workmanship and slack quality control!

You sound a bit under the thumb and pussy whipped to me.

Don't fret miggins. Chill your boots untill this weekends blessing.

You are going troppo miggins.

Time for a break before you break yourself

When is the divorce Miggins?

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Originally Posted by ItsRobsLife

When is the divorce Miggins?

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i once found a divorce list my first ex wife had "accidentally" left lying around.

the first two complaints, on the first of FOUR typed a4 pages read:

1) farts loudly in bed (loy-toy suffers from this malady too, as i gathered from the sister thread)

2) thinks it is fun to fart loudly in a crowded lift, then turns and stares at some old guy, holding his nose and shaking his head so as to let the other sufferers think it was the old guy that farted!



i think that if the only problem she had was sand in the bed, we would still be married, poor girl!!

Cant you get your child to tell her to go fuck herself ??

Do what all men do. Ignore the wife!

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Originally Posted by tsicar

i once found a divorce list my first ex wife had "accidentally" left lying around.

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I will never forget my ex's list that was read out in court
It included "Farting loudly in a tea-shop in Arundel, Sussex"

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Originally Posted by Fondles

Cant you get your child to tell her to go fuck herself ??

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You owe me a new keyboard.

I rather like the Thai custom of taking your shoes off at the front door.
Walking dog shit, sand or mud through the house aint the smartest thing to do when you could just as easily avoid the labour of cleaning it up by simply taking off your shoes at the front door.

And who needs to "run upstairs" in dirty boots to answer the phone anyway? Get an answering machine or a walk around phone if you feel compelled to run every time the phone rings.

As most here would be aware, in traditional Thai culture they often sit on the floor, eat on the floor and sometimes sleep on the floor. Plus, its the place where babies crawl about. So clean floor is a must in Thai culture, and not a bad idea that farangs could take on either.

Get your farken boots off Miggens before you walk inside and stop your whinging.:)

yeah...who wears the boots in your family.....poooosssssyyyyyy

Go and bobsled your arse around in the sand and then get the missus to stick her tongue in ya bung hole......that should fire up the sand debate.

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Originally Posted by Nawty

yeah...who wears the boots in your family.....poooosssssyyyyyy

Go and bobsled your arse around in the sand and then get the missus to stick her tongue in ya bung hole......that should fire up the sand debate.

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You're definitely getting into this whole tongue in the ass thing.

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Originally Posted by buriramboy

You sound a bit under the thumb and pussy whipped to me.

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Yeah, but he has his online friends here to support him through this difficult period.

We are here for you Miggs. Hang in there mate.

I find shooting things helps me to get back in touch with my masculinity.

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Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

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Originally Posted by Nawty

yeah...who wears the boots in your family.....poooosssssyyyyyy

Go and bobsled your arse around in the sand and then get the missus to stick her tongue in ya bung hole......that should fire up the sand debate.

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You're definitely getting into this whole tongue in the ass thing.

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It is a nice experience....amazing how far you can actually get your tongue in there.

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Originally Posted by Thetyim

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Originally Posted by tsicar

i once found a divorce list my first ex wife had "accidentally" left lying around.

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I will never forget my ex's list that was read out in court
It included "Farting loudly in a tea-shop in Arundel, Sussex"

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You have to be joking??? Did you really get cited for that?

I was simply cited for unreasonable behaviour...lying on the front room floor in a comatose position after imbibing myself with copious ammounts of alcohol.

I didn't contest it, I didn't want to drag her "good name" through the courts as to how she drove me to this state!

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Originally Posted by Nawty

yeah...who wears the boots in your family.....poooosssssyyyyyy

Go and bobsled your arse around in the sand and then get the missus to stick her tongue in ya bung hole......that should fire up the sand debate.

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Nothing to do with "Bung Holes" I put on a pair of boots to prevent snake bites, we have shitloads of these buggers, and the first place they will go for is your ankles.

A pair of stinking old boots from Carrefoure makes me feel a bit safer than a pair of flip flops! Believe me, when you climb under a lam yai tree on top of all those dead leaves and some shiny green or black fucker starts wriggling around underneath your feet, I know what I would rather be wearing! There are at least 3 dead from cobra bites in Lamphun last year doing the same thing!

I have been in there with a weed whacker, and they hide til the last possible moment and then, when they think they are fucked they make a move, and if you have a pair of flip flops on, you are fucked!

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Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

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Originally Posted by buriramboy

You sound a bit under the thumb and pussy whipped to me.

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Yeah, but he has his online friends here to support him through this difficult period.

We are here for you Miggs. Hang in there mate.

I find shooting things helps me to get back in touch with my masculinity.

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It certainly helps to vent the spleen!

I forgot to shake out my boots before putting them on the other day and one of those little scorpions was in one. Actually didn't realize he was there as it was at the ball of the left foot until it started itching real bad. Sure glad scorpions in Thailand are not the size of the ones in the American Southwest...:rolleyes:

Get slip-on boots, Miggens - a lot easier...

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Originally Posted by Fondles

Cant you get your child to tell her to go fuck herself ??

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...and she considers him a 'hero'. Go figure.

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Originally Posted by Boon Mee

I forgot to shake out my boots before putting them on the other day and one of those little scorpions was in one. Actually didn't realize he was there as it was at the ball of the left foot until it started itching real bad. Sure glad scorpions in Thailand are not the size of the ones in the American Southwest...:rolleyes:

Get slip-on boots, Miggens - a lot easier...

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I wouldn't dismiss some of the scorpions here too quickly, there are some pretty nasty little brown ones that can hurt like buggery, don't think you will die from them though, otherwise I would have put them in my Mother in Laws Bed already.

There are also some nasty spiders too, they can take a good bite out of your toes if you don't shake out your "FLIP FLOPS"

The little ones are the dangerous ones IMO.

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Originally Posted by jandajoy

The little ones are the dangerous ones IMO.

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Indeed, same as little baby snakes!

The bigger they get the smarter they get, to the point where they get this understanding that you are too big to eat, at which point most of them don't even inject venom!

The babies don't comprehend this and just bite...hence the boots and the socks..a bit more millimetres of outer skin to get through than a pair of flip flops!

It is probably a different kind of viper and venom that is found in Pattaya and Bangkok than up here, the snakes down there probably strike at the wallet more than my stinking feet!

Panzy......gumbies....I catch my snakes in flip flops.

I have a pair of sunglasses ready for the spitting cobras but.

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

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Originally Posted by jandajoy

The little ones are the dangerous ones IMO.

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Indeed, same as little baby snakes!

The bigger they get the smarter they get, to the point where they get this understanding that you are too big to eat, at which point most of them don't even inject venom!

The babies don't comprehend this and just bite...hence the boots and the socks..a bit more millimetres of outer skin to get through than a pair of flip flops!

It is probably a different kind of viper and venom that is found in Pattaya and Bangkok than up here, the snakes down there probably strike at the wallet more than my stinking feet!

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I should have added, the other reason I wear boots is that a few years back, we were busy building the house and had loads of old wood around, like an arse, I stood on a four inch nail protruding from an old bit of wood....there is more shock than pain as it enters your heel and hits the bones, but believe me, the real pain is when you try to pull it out!

Then a visit to the quack for a couple of "NASTY" injections, and a follow up (which I did not go to due to the pain of the first) a few weeks later...no, flip flops are fine if you can see what you are walking on/in.

Last Lam Yai season my wife brought these idiots over to help pick the Lam Yai, not ten minutes after beginning work, one idiot in flip flops had trod on some of that lethal bamboo type grass, it went through his flip flop and right through the fleshy part of his foot! (I got the blame for the way I cut the grass!! ) how I laughed, as I watched him reclining in my wifes "Abdominiser" exercise machine...almost in a coma!

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

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Originally Posted by Thetyim

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Originally Posted by tsicar

i once found a divorce list my first ex wife had "accidentally" left lying around.

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I will never forget my ex's list that was read out in court
It included "Farting loudly in a tea-shop in Arundel, Sussex"

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You have to be joking??? Did you really get cited for that?

I was simply cited for unreasonable behaviour...lying on the front room floor in a comatose position after imbibing myself with copious ammounts of alcohol.

I didn't contest it, I didn't want to drag her "good name" through the courts as to how she drove me to this state!

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Do you still need reasons to get divorced?

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Originally Posted by Fabian

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

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Originally Posted by Thetyim

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Originally Posted by tsicar

i once found a divorce list my first ex wife had "accidentally" left lying around.

---

I will never forget my ex's list that was read out in court
It included "Farting loudly in a tea-shop in Arundel, Sussex"

---

You have to be joking??? Did you really get cited for that?

I was simply cited for unreasonable behaviour...lying on the front room floor in a comatose position after imbibing myself with copious ammounts of alcohol.

I didn't contest it, I didn't want to drag her "good name" through the courts as to how she drove me to this state!

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Do you still need reasons to get divorced?

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When will people like you realise... It is A Labour Of Love!!!

[quote=Missismiggins;1318704]

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Originally Posted by Fabian

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

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Originally Posted by Thetyim

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Originally Posted by tsicar

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"

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When will people like you realise... It is A Labour Of Love!!!

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yes, perhaps

but it can easily turn into a life sentence (with hard labour!), if you allow it to!

i would love to have the time to research and possibly publish a book on how two people of opposing sexes can live together as a married couple for years, raise a family, and then, after many years, finally discover that they never actually got to know each other in all that time!
my first ex' exuses for this was:


"........BUT I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD CHANGE!"

dumb bitches!
then i gave her an ultimatum:
go find a marriage guidance councillor, and pehaps we can sort this out:

what did she do ??!!!

...found some queer to fukkn council me about marriage!
i asked the prick if he was queer and he sed no i am gay and i sed that means you are queer and what the hell would you know about marriage guidance anyway you fudgepacker and then we went home and got divorced (thank fukk!!)

oh, .. and he wanted me to buy some book that i am sure must have been published by some queer or something and it is called:
"men are from mars and women are from uranus" or something like that!

Jeeeez.....worried about snakes....worried about scorpions.....worried about nails.....worried about splinters.....worried about the MIL......as the little monkies in Madagascar say......'panzies'

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Originally Posted by Nawty

Jeeeez.....worried about snakes....worried about scorpions.....worried about nails.....worried about splinters.....worried about the MIL......as the little monkies in Madagascar say......'panzies'

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You probably live in a gated condo somewhere in Bangkok or the likes!

Snakes...I had a cobra in the toilet , so yes I worry, thankfully it was me that shot it before it bit anyone here. Scorpions? Yes, I wouldn't fancy a sting! Splinters...no I was worried about a 3 inch nail that I stood on.. and yes it does hurt... right up the back of my foot! pussy or what..!

The MIL is far more dangerous than any of these other things...believe me..when they have a poisoned mind! and they bring their ghost beliefs into your life! They can "TRY" to fuck your childs head up "IF" you let them!

You forgot the Jakep! I fear these too!

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

When will people like you realise... It is A Labour Of Love!!!

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https://teakdoor.com/images/smilies1/You_Rock_Emoticon.gif

Looks more like a photo from the UN debating what to do with Haiti!

"Thailand contemplates sending SKIN WHITENING LOTION" in order to better their lives!

My gated community lost their gate

Why, has someone stolen it?

I'm onto something with this. 4th was a thursday.

Miggins must be let out to play on Thursdays

Boots can keep you safe, just because most Thais can't afford them does not mean you should not wear them. Srtong leather boot with a steel shank to protect from nails and such is a good thing. But you may want to get a wireless phone and place it near the back door, and you can get lace in zippers for your boots. The lace in zippers are great, makes getting into and out of the boots much faster.
Amazon.com: Zipper Boot Laces: Clothing

There must be a thai amazon or some such you can get them from.

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Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

I'm onto something with this. 4th was a thursday.

Miggins must be let out to play on Thursdays

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Ha Ha!

Today is Friday and I have been let out of my box again!

On the pretence of "watering the Lam Yai" I am in fact having a few beers!

She's fucked off to her mothers, so life is good! and would you believe, some bastard has sneaked in here last night and stole our bees nest!

It has been on a tree for the past 5 months, and I come home today and its GONE!

I get fucked off with these people at times! (most times to be honest) they sneak in and steal bananas, they steal lam yai, they put traps in my trees (which I break when I find) to catch little birds....They need to be SHOT!

A few months back, i was busy at the back end of the land and heard this "CRACK" "CRACK" noise, when I went closer to the road it was two twats in a Cherokee Jeep shooting those dove type birds on our land, one arsehole was leaning out the window and trying to shoot them and then running down the bank into our land to pick up the dead birds....

I lost my rag a bit with that one (When we first came here there were no birds, they were smart and realized that coming here meant death - since we set up home, we have all sorts of birds here, no one hurts them, they get food and are nesting everywhere) And took out the long barreled air rifle, they fucked off pretty sharpish after that and haven't been back!

I wonder how much a razor wire fence would cost? That would keep the rif-raf out for a while.

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

two twats in a Cherokee Jeep shooting those dove type birds

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Send them down here - got hundreds of pigeons that shit everywhere and my cats only manage to kill a couple every week !!!:)

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Originally Posted by Happyman

Send them down here - got hundreds of pigeons that shit everywhere and my cats only manage to kill a couple every week !!!

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squab : the meat from a young domestic pigon
Sounds like you have a fancy feast flying around your place.