Aussies are funny Fukers

Inept pair jailed for bread theft
Two Australians have been jailed for a failed heist which left one of them with a bag of bread rolls and the other with a bullet in the backside.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced to seven and eight years respectively for the robbery in a Melbourne restaurant.
During the robbery, Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls.
He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock.
Judge Roland Williams described the two, who had expected to steal takings worth about A$30,000 ($26,000, £13,000), as a "pair of fools".
Hayes was hospitalised for a month as a result of her injuries.
The two pleaded guilty to armed robbery at the County Court in Victoria.

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Inept pair jailed for bread theft

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Originally Posted by blackgang

Two Australians have been jailed for a failed heist which left one of them with a bag of bread rolls

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Was a time they'd be transported to Australia for that.

What are they going to do with them now? Ship them back to the UK and try again? :)

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Originally Posted by blackgang

He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock.

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He'll now have 2 holes to get fucked with in prison

seems to me if you count em all, she will have her origional 3 plus 1.

A man who was rescued from the jaws of a crocodile which bit him on the arm had the double misfortune to be shot by his colleague in the process.
The unlucky victim, Jason Green, was a reptile farmhand in Australia who had been collecting eggs on a riverbank in the Northern Territory at the time.

He disturbed one of the animals close to a nest which snapped at him and encased his arm between its teeth.

Crocodile attacks and shootings are rare in Australia - as is what happened next.

A co-worker was quick to react and took aim with his shotgun, forcing it to release Green.

But the next shot missed its intended target and instead caught Green in the arm.
"The male colleague shot at the crocodile, causing it to let go of the victim's arm, but a further shot hit the victim in the upper right arm," a Northern Territory police statement said.
Green was flown with a bite and a bullet wound by helicopter to a Darwin Hospital for surgery.

http://http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ne...3/wcroc123.xml

This should all be in the things aussies are proud of thread.

How on earth have they been able to feed themselves since the Poms left?

by stealing loaves of bread, the only thing our forefathers taught us :)

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Originally Posted by keda

How on earth have they been able to feed themselves s ince the Poms left?

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chomping on the national coat of arms, of course!

Mmmmmm roast kangaroo.... yummy.

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Originally Posted by blackgang

Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls

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:)

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He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock

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:rofl:

Brilliant.

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Originally Posted by Deus Ex

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Originally Posted by blackgang

Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls

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:)

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well at least he got some dough. :)

^Except for being baked.

This reminds me of a story.....

I remember seeing the local baker parking in a handicapped zone in his bakers van one day so I took a photo and then posted it to her with a ransom note threatning to print it in the paper unless she dropped off $1,000 dollars in a unmarked paper bag at 1pm that Friday at the front of my office.

Sure enough at 1pm the baker van pulled in and slowed down before dropping of a paper bag.

Inside was a lump of bread dough with the note 'heres ya dough'

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Originally Posted by AntRobertson

What are they going to do with them now? Ship them back to the UK and try again?

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No we're sending them to Kiwiland :)

I'm already here. :)