In search of Chang

[Mendip]

This week the daughter had a two day test at her prospective new school in Pak Chong. I dropped her off on Wednesday and picked her up again on Friday. She enjoyed her two days boarding at the school, did well in all the tests and on Monday morning a few emails will be sent to confirm her move at the start of the next school year in August.

She'll be 14 when she starts boarding and I'm not sure how I feel about that. The school is 1 hour 40 minutes from home and to my mind too far for a daily commute, but close enough to come home for weekends if she so desires, and besides, it's about her future and not me, I've had my life. One positive for me is that it will free me up for more offshore work during her term times and so I can take full advantage of my work in Norway booming due to Ed Millibrain's unfathomable energy policies. Maybe I'll retire before 70 after all!

After a long meeting with the daughter's future headmaster, I picked her from the school and headed off to a hotel near the Khao Yai National Park for a weekend of elephant searching.

The hotel rules are a bit strict but I sneaked in a couple of bottles of Leo, so all was good...



The hotel's restaurant wasn't open last night and seeing as I fancied a couple of beers we were limited to finding somewhere to eat within walking distance. There was an OK place across the road about a ten minute walk away and at first I considered a glass of 'Stawterry Mik' with my steak, but instead opted for a couple of Leos.



In the morning we discovered why the hotel restaurant wasn't open the previous night... we are the only guests!



The breakfast was pretty standard Thai fare... but personally cooked and not too bad at all, all things considered.



Then off we set.



It would be great to see 'The Big 5' but I've long since learnt that these signs are just wishful thinking.



Yeah, right...



A cerulean reservoir...



The first animal of the day... an Asian water monitor lizard (I think).



I jumped out of the car to get decent close-up, but it quickly fukked off into the jungle.



I was flagging a bit by this point so we stopped off at a kiosk and I treated meself to a 100 Plus. This stuff used to be a staple when golfing in Malaysia many years ago but I haven't really noticed it much in Thailand. But I haven't looked that much either, to be honest.



And onward.

There was obviously something going on here, so I stopped to take a closer look.



Some pretty serious stuff going on, but I'll be fukked if I could see anything. I guess a monkey or a bird of some sort?



As luck would have it I was wearing my cammo shorts and considered going across to join these guys, but then thought that I'd look a bit of a twat in comparison when waving around my Samsung phone camera.



And besides, a little further on... who needs a fancy telescopic lens?

Second animal of the day!



And then... lo and behold!

Hardly believing my luck I stopped up and did a quick recce. Sadly this elephant had defecated right on a sharp bend so I couldn't stop in the road to quickly shovel up the pile of shit, using the car as a shield from prying eyes.



While I was thinking about the best course of action I noticed that a park ranger was sitting on a bench eating his lunch. I decided to just simply ask if I could take the elephant shit home for my veggie patch.

It didn't go well.

'kee chang bai baan mai'?

He had not the faintest idea what I was on about, and wasn't very friendly at all either. I mimed shovelling up the shit and tipping it in a bucket and eventually he seemed to cotton on and just said. 'no, no'. I'm still not sure if he understood or was just trying to get rid of me, the tosser. But anyway, I decided to leave that pile of brown gold lying in the road.

Why would it matter if I took it? I don't know. All that will happen is that it'll be flattened into the concrete by all the traffic.

Anyway, further on I spotted a water hole, always a good spot for elephants.



And there was a bunch of cars parked up with people milling about, so I did a U-turn and also parked up. This was looking promising.



And the second 'Lo and behold' of the day!

As we disembarked the car this wild Asian elephant emerged from the jungle, right where I had parked. The daughter and I had the best view as all the grockles were 50 metres up the road, with the elephant hidden to them by the trees!



I stupidly pointed to the elephant and said 'chang'... and the horde came bustling up to us shouting and squawking, and the elephant quickly fukked off back into the jungle. Next time I'll keep it to meself.



The elephant had been right in that clearing, just behind the car.



And that was it. As we were pointing back from where we'd come from I decided to have one more attempt at the pile of elephant shite. I went past, U-turned again and stopped on the bend. The friendly park ranger had fukked off but it was just too busy with too much traffic. I decided it wasn't worth getting run over for a bucket full of elephant shite, much as it pained me to leave it there.



So we headed back for lunch.

And... the third 'Lo and behold' of the day!!!



I surreptitiously walked about, hands on hips, while whistling and wondering how to approach this. There was a car park in view and traffic was still heavy.



The daughter was yelling at me to use the shovel, but I just knew that that was too obvious. This was a 'hand carry' job.

I pretended to look for wildlife in the trees while waiting for the traffic to clear...



And then sprang into action!



Thankfully it was quite dry and not fresh at all.



I can still move quite fast when I have to...



And as quick as a flash... a kilo of elephant shite manure for my veggies patch secured in the bucket! Not the biggest haul ever, but certainly better than nothing.



The bladdy daughter wouldn't let me back into the car until I'd washed my hands. I sometimes wonder about these fancy schools... all she goes on about is hygiene.

When I was her age I used to have dry cowpat frisby fights with my mates, but I guess kids are different these days.

So, half a bottle of water was wasted.



And that was definitely it. No more shite.

The obligatory scenic picture on the way back...



And finally, lunch!

I was hoping for larb moo but all we could find was this chicken place, which was muslim so I couldn't get a beer.



But very nice it was, and it came with some decent rice instead of that fluffy white bland stuff you usually get in Thailand.

[Joe 90]

Magic moments with your daughter, cherish them while you can.

[david44]

Fair play been there dung that.

I can vaguely see the title of your bio emerging like an ROV from the depths

Men dip Inn's turd world tales

[Neverna]

'kee chang bai baan mai'?

"Does the elephant shit go home?"

He had not the faintest idea what I was on about,

You need to learn the word(s) for "take" and add that to the question.

Or get your daughter to ask him.

[aging one]

But very nice it was, and it came with some decent rice instead of that fluffy white bland stuff you usually get in Thailand.

Khao Moke Gai, Muslim yellow rice, its cooked in the chicken stock with seasonings the main being Turmeric hence the yellow color. I really like it. The sauces are good as well.

[malmomike77]

There are two issues with your post Mendip in ascending order;

1. Grow a sense of superiority and entitlement, the little fuker you tried engaging over a pachyderm stool is a grunt. You should have shouted at him to clear the obstacle in the load, after which you could have secured it from the safety of the verge.

2. You also should travel with a small branch off a tree if you are doing load work which you could have deployed and then gone about your retrieval work in abosolute safety.

actually there is a third. Ref your not being able to have a drink and drive. Your daughter is Thai Age old enough to pilot a pickup so its about time you got her behind the wheel.

[Reg Dingle]

Grow a sense of superiority and entitlement, the little fuker you tried engaging over a pachyderm stool is a grunt. You should have shouted at him to clear the obstacle in the load,

Do you really think that would end well, when dressed like a Burmese peasant?