A day in the life...

[Stumpy]

When I think of you being a geologist the expression "dumb as a box of rocks" comes to mind when you do this sort of shit.

In the states we have a saying too ootai, he is the Smartest dumb guy I know...

Somethings gone wrong with evolution somewhere. This Guy is the fukkin Missing Link.

No he brings back 30kgs of fukkin peas and 2 pairs of Festive crotchless underpants

. I damn near coughed up a lung Dil.

Apparently tomorrow we will see him in his crackers laying down in his dog dirt sanding and painting. Should be interesting as long as he doesn't show us his black fungus toenails.

[Reg Dingle]

Does Birmingham have nothing better to offer?

Fuck those Brummie Kunts and that shitty German Market.
There's a clean air zone there now. Just had to pay them 60 quid for driving through it at Christmas.
Two 100 pound speeding fines, one 3 hour fukkin speed awareness course, 3 points on my licence in a year.
Add to that Coventry's 3 fines for driving in fukkin bus lanes. Although they dropped the last one when I rang and told them it was a habit I couldn't stop

Teach your daughter some northern culture... take her to Wetherspoons maybe?

We live in the South now but as a responsible parent there'll be no showing her any drunken antics from scrumpy cider necking straw chewing inbreds from over the West Side.

They have judo horse riding and Girl Guides here

[Stumpy]

Well looks like I have assimilated too well as I burn my garbage including the plastic that is not recyclable.
Unlike Mendip and Stumpy I don't live in a Hi So area that has a regular garbage pick up service so I burn it.

Well if you really want to go all in Ootai, just dump your garbage around in fields and roadsides.

I bet the smell of the burning diesel fuel and horrendous carcinogenic plastic smoke is nice. Big black plume into the sky. Do you burn tin cans and wet garbage?

[malmomike77]

There's a clean air zone there now. Just had to pay them 60 quid for driving through it at Christmas.
Two 100 pound speeding fines, one 3 hour fukkin speed awareness course, 3 points on my licence in a year.
Add to that Coventry's 3 fines for driving in fukkin bus lanes. Although they dropped the last one when I rang and told them it was a habit I couldn't stop

So basically all this is just bad habits you picked up in Thailand and you'd have got away with it all if you'd have added the Thais love of tailgating

[Reg Dingle]

^ No, the bad habits were picked up from driving the bus.

I even pulled into bus stops in my car to pick people up to start with.

And hand gesturing to bus drivers from a car gets you some funny looks

[ootai]

Well if you really want to go all in Ootai, just dump your garbage around in fields and roadsides.

I bet the smell of the burning diesel fuel and horrendous carcinogenic plastic smoke is nice. Big black plume into the sky. Do you burn tin cans and wet garbage?

All I can say is I try not to burn cans and wet shit but the tribe here doesn't know the difference and they don't know why I stack stuff adjacent to the hole to dry they just throw everything into the pit and don't even bother to throe it anywhere but just at the edge. Si have to try and move it around in the pit to get it to dry and make some room for their next load. But I ain't complaining (maybe I am) at least they are trying to keep the place a bit cleaner and more tidy than they used to. I can't even remember what they did before I started digging pits. Occasionally I get the excavator out and dig all the burnt (sorry charred) crap out of the pit and make a pile alongside. Eventually I dig all that stuff back into the pit and bury it all then dig a new pit and start all over again.
You must remember Stumpy that I don't live in a place where there are neighbours all around close by, I only have 3 different neighbours that live within 100m and they all burn shit so don't complain when its our turn.

[Mendip]

We live in the South now...

Oh, well done. Things are on the up!

Just try and blend in, keep your voice down when outside and try something different than a pint of mild.

I think that's a good move for your daughter!

[Joe 90]

Oh, well done. Things are on the up!

Oi, oi theres no need for that

And hand gesturing to bus drivers from a car gets you some funny looks

I bet it does

Are you going to undercoat your metal tomorrow.
Have you considered paint stripping instead of sanding?
Stops you from getting tenors elbow

[DrWilly]

So no ones Willy pops out of that flap where it says Merry Christmas then?

leave me out of your sordid grooming of Mendy!

[Stumpy]

At least he didn't call it DrWilly.

[Stumpy]

I can't even remember what they did before I started digging pits.

Years back as a kid, we had two 55 gallon drums. Paper, cardboard and dry stuff was burned in one. Land debris and pine needles burned in the other. This was long before plastic everything hit the stores. We had a dump nearby so we could take wet albeit not much.

Later we finally got garbage service and all burning stopped.

[DrWilly]

At least he didn't call it DrWilly.

Gee, thanks.

[Mendip]

Our bin costs 30 Baht a month to keep, and I think it's emptied twice a week.

Dogs, chickens and a compost heap ensures that no organic waste makes it to the bin and after the gardener takes his choice of recyclable stuff there's not much left over.

Oi, oi theres no need for that

To be honest I don't blame him if it saves his daughter from growing up with a Brummie accent!

Are you going to undercoat your metal tomorrow.
Have you considered paint stripping instead of sanding?

I finished the sanding this morning and was going to start undercoating but unfortunately Maya had another go at the sofa last night so I've decided to take a break from the fence and fix her damage instead.

Maya has more breeding than the rest of our dogs put together but she just won't stop chewing, despite many punishments. We never had this problem with any of the others when they were young.

I'm planning on using a needle, thread and a patch unless any TeakDoor experts know of better methodology and tools for the job?

[happynz]

Your previous patches look fine.

[Bonecollector]

We live in the South now but as a responsible parent there'll be no showing her any drunken antics from scrumpy cider necking straw chewing inbreds from over the West Side.

5555555

[ootai]

I'm planning on using a needle, thread and a patch unless any TeakDoor experts know of better methodology and tools for the job?

No suggestions re the tools for patching the hole she chewed but I will say that prevention is better than a cure so maybe the tool required is a muzzle.

[Headworx]

Just try and blend in, keep your voice down when outside and try something different than a pint of mild.

Ouch!

[Reg Dingle]

Arrrrr, cidarr, tractarr, sistarrr, motharrr

[Mendip]

^ Good stuff, I like Jimmy Carr.

I spent another day doing completely pointless jobs to keep myself occupied and ended up tackling Maya's latest chew hole in the outside sofa. It should have been an easy job but after grazing the end of my right index finger off while sanding the fence this job was a nightmare... it was really painful to push the needle through the thick patch.

So I gave up half way through. If only I had a wife skilled in needlecraft...



Anna joined myself and Coco while I was sewing, and at the risk of crossing over with Anna's thread, here they were. Anna is making friends, one dog at a time.

[Mendip]

And this is the problem with having a gardener, or farbruster... forbuster... fabolaster... (?) as Shutree says.

After dinner I was just outside to tuck Anna in when the bloody gardener turned up after his evening out... I guess it was around 9:30pm.

Now, this is late for me but a pre-dinner Leo and the remnants of a bag of Mont Clair with our fish an' chips dinner had given me the taste. I'd found an inch of Hong Thong left in a bottle in the upstairs fridge but that just gave me more of a taste... and along walks the gardener with a whole bottle of of Ya Dong!

I must admit that sometimes I hink the gardener has a rink problem, but he's like me... a couple of early ones and early to bed.



And here's my problem... all is peaceful, the wife and daughter are asleep but I'm wide awake and I know that there's a 3/4 full bottle of Ya Dong n the gardener's (fostonger?) fridge and I have a taste... how to get down there, unlock and open doors, open the gate, without waking the family or setting the dogs off?

The Ya Dong's disgusting as well... but I know I gotta do it.

Bloody gardener... I don't need this.

[malmomike77]

Posting covering the "Anna" and "What Are You Drinking" threads in one post is remarkably lucid and time saving when you've got your drinking socks on.

[Topper]

So ok for some bizarre reason you decide you've got to do this menial task yourself.

Menial? How fucking pretentious are you people?

Why hire someone to do something you can do yourself?

[Reg Dingle]

Why hire someone to do something you can do yourself?

Did you do a lot of wanking in Thailand?

[David48atTD]

Why hire someone to do something you can do yourself?

Did you do a lot of wanking in Thailand?

Reg does have a point

[Headworx]

Menial? How fucking pretentious are you people?

Why hire someone to do something you can do yourself?

So what, you do your own laundry and ironing in some place it costs about 10 cents a kilo for someone else to do it? Mow your own lawn too? Lay upside down under the kitchen sink swearing and cursing while replacing that leaking pipe then go wash your own car afterwards?

Yeah fuck off, one of the perks of living in these places is cheap labour to do menial shit while we do more productive things like watch sports on TV, or anything else we might actually enjoy doing.