An Isaan Pond

[DrWilly]

He said it was a whoosh mango. Guess the joke was so clever and nuanced nobody got it. Not the first time for Helga.

[Mendip]

It's been too hot to do any fishing lately but I check on the pond every day for any signs of problems. The waterfall is on 24 hours a day and so far there've been no fatalities from lack of oxygen, or from pla chon attacks for that matter.

It's not only too hot for fishing, it's too bot for anything in this awful climate as these two toads reminded me tonight.

[Mendip]

I have some fine pla duuk in my pond but nothing like this!

This is a 143lb catfish recently caught from a lake in Essex, England. It's the biggest fish ever caught on rod and line in freshwater in the UK.



I reckon if I caught a pla duuk this big out of my pond, all I'd need would be a freezer full of oven chips and Talley's frozen peas and we'd have fish an' chips for a year.

I don't reckon Francis Moran will find it quite so funny in a few years time when he discovers that his wife has the same genes as her mother.

[helge]

Has your pond done the 'buttom up' this year ?

[Joe 90]

You'd need 100kilo of spuds for the chips with that serving of fish and about 20 litres of mushy peas.

What a feast that would have been.


According to the manager of the fishery, there's bigger ones in the water.

What publicity for his business!

[Mendip]

^ You could bathe in 20 litres of mushy peas... imagine that!


Fishing is just like riding a bike... once you have it, you never lose it.

I've only been back a few minutes and straight into a 1kg (plus) pla duuk.

Anna studiously feigned a lack of interest...



... continuously, yet strangely enough she was never further than 6 feet away from my catch.



I was under no illusion that as soon as I ventured back to the house to replenish my glass, Anna would have picked up the fish and disappeared with it under some bush. Thank God for Whatsapp and a young daughter who I can still bribe for such duties!

So, once I have had my catfish filleting refresher course in the morning, it's looking like organic catfish an' chips this week. That should help lower my cholesterol count.

It would be great if there was still a fusion food thread going to post this stuff in.

[BLD]

To be fair, Ootai's a workshy whinging Aussie!

It was me who had an infected big toe nail prized off by the doc. All Ootai had was your general blood infection that was easily cured by antibiotics.

Fooking ootai. Pussy

[Mendip]

^

I saw him this week... I wish I had shown him your post!


But anyway, fuck me!!!

I hate mindless profanities but the daughter has her end of year exams at the moment and we spent the morning on 'prisms'.

Oblique prisms, right prisms, square prisms, rectangular prisms, triangular prisms (Toblerone), circular prisms (cylinders), cubes, cuboids, calculating the volume of prisms, calculating the surface area of prisms and even calculating the flow through a pipe, which Edmond may well find interesting, but ... Jaysus Christ... I'm supposed to be on leave.

My head was swimming by mid-afternoon, so a dri... a fishing trip was in order.

Back in my youth I used to go digging down at the allotment to get some bait, but these days I digging through the wife's special drawers... in the freezer.



Her drawers rarely disappoint and I was again in luck today... a big bagful of Isaan bugs.



So, armed with a small bowl of the wife's bugs and half a slice of Makro bread, I was in business. Makro bread (so long as you keep it out of the sun) is great for fishing as it's soft and malleable and stays on the hook. Farmhouse Bread is absolute rubbish... it goes soggy in the water and just falls off the hook.



This has been my bait of choice lately... and Isaan bug/bread crust cocktail. I put the bread on first so the bug helps to keep it on the hook. If you put the bread on second, the fish will just suck the bread off the hook without even registering a bight on the float.



Yogi eats absolutely everything, yer I offered him the bowl of Isaan bugs and he backed away immediately. In fact he would look anywhere else but the bowl of bugs.



I must admit that this made me wonder... the wife will happily stick these bugs in her gob yet Yogi who will eat absolutely anything is repulsed... yet in contradiction she seems extremely particular about other things she will stick in her go... oh well, maybe some thoughts are best left unthunk.

I did however find a small bonus... I stuck the bowl of Isaan bugs in the centre of the table and finally had a dog-free zone. Yogi won't go near the bloody things!



What's not to like... a dog-free table, free bait that I didn't have to dig for, and hopefully a Saturday night with a wife who goes to bed after eating a normal meal.

Nothing cools my ardour quicker than Isaan bug breath and a mouthful of cricket pupae rear legs sticking through her teeth... although it's not a deal breaker, of course!

Anyway, the fishing was slow and I sometimes find it amazing that I can't catch anything. I was talking to Ootai about this a few days ago... he knows from experience that there's probably 300 to 400 fish in this bloody pond, yet I can't get a bite. You would have though it easier to catch something than not?

I moved the bait bowl up to the jetty shelf to make things easier.



With the inevitable consequence. Yogi is incorrigible.



Much better company than some human's I've spent an evening at a bar with. I have a really close bond with Yogi.

Man fishing in the wild with nature, and all that. These relationships don't just happen overnight.



As Hal will know, fish become hook-shy in any over-fished water and that is my problem. The bread gets sucked off the hook and the insides of the wife's bug get sucked out by the bloody fish, while barely registering a bite on the float. The only solution is to go smaller and smaller with the hooks and lighter with the line breaking strain. Size 22 hooks may be common in the UK, with 1lb breaking strain line, but I'll never bring in a big catfish with such light tackle.

This bug was completely sucked out.



But I'm no quitter... and eventually caught a lovely pla nin of about 800gm. This was the first time that Maya say with me during this fishing trip... she knows that Anna just loves her fish so moved in, just to piss Anna off. These dogs are so transparent at times.



Nothing galvanises the dogs' interest more than the start of a catching spree...



Yet, that solitary pla nin was it. I hoped for another to get s decent fish an' chips next week, but it wasn't to be. After filleting, this one fish won't be enough for two portions.

I eventually abandoned the fishing trip to head on back to the house...



With an 'end of trip' photo.



As is the routine, I cleaned the fish in the chicken run. The chickens go mad for a bit of unexpected protein and run up. knowing what to expect. There really is no food waste here and the pla nin guts and organs will be converted into eggs.



And after cleaning, I could finally relax with a beer. A productive trip... relaxing and a meal provided.



And also educational. This morning I did Maths for the daughter, and tomorrow it's Biology.

I hate covering 'Reproduction' with the daughter', I find it embarrassing and a constant reminder that she's growing up, but felt I had to show her the pla nin's little Willy.

Yes, I had caught a boy fish.

[BLD]

Me to. I also think that mindless profanities are the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate td motherfucker. I wish they would refrain crack on

[Edmond]

Lovely post Mendy.

The man has found his Nirvana-zone.

[DrWilly]

Dog free table… almost.

[DrWilly]

My dog knows he doesn’t sit on the table. He rests quietly nearby while I BBQ.

[Mendip]

^ Well done, I hope that makes you happy!

I could of course make Yogi sit on the ground, but it just doesn't matter to us. We eat inside, he enjoys joining me fishing, sans razor wire.

[Mendip]

^ That was an amusing rejoinder in my head last night... and I have reprimanded the gardener appropriately.

I have asked him on numerous occasions to hide his Ya Dong, yet last night he left it in full view in his fridge. Bastard... it doesn't do me any good. I had several last night while trying to stay awake for the football, and found out this morning that 2am on the 16th actually means 2am on the 17th. FFS.

Anyway, I may well be unfair on Yogi etal... they aren't badly behaved but are given a lot of leeway... when to me, it doesn't matter. On the rare occasions we do actually have visitors for lunch etc, one word and they disperse... knowing that a treat will be had for good behaviour on completion of a meal. Maybe I should be more consistent, I don't know, but they do seem to understand different circumstances.

Yesterday I caught Yogi almost onto a juvenile greater coucal, which I thought was a gonner. I yelled 'No, Yogi', and he stopped abruptly in his tracks and turned to face me, while the young bird flew off. To be honest I was amazed, but also very pleased. They do in fact appear to know when to behave, when the occasions arise. I have been quite tough on them in the past.

The man has found his Nirvana-zone.

You won't find any rhododendron bushes here, I can assure you.


Anyway, my mojo has come back... well, my fishing mojo at least.

Early on tonight I was into a 1kg pla duuk, which headed straight into shore-side vegetation and became entangled in the long grass. I had to yell for someone to get my landing net and the first arrival was the wife... which ensured the poor catfish's demise. I was after pla nin tonight and would have probably put him back, but he had no chance with the missus.



Pla duuk curry for lunch tomorrow... and if it isn't too 'pet maak', I may well imbibe.



I later caught my sought after pla nin... a fine fish of approaching 1kg which will be filleted, and along with yesterday's catch, be served up with oven chips and Wattie's peas one night this week.



Anna gets so jealous when there's a pla nin on the bank that I had to take it away before she caused a fight. She just loves her fish and loses all reason when there's one left around. Her ears go back, she snarls at any comers and gets this wild-eyed, demented look... at times reminding me a bit of the wife to be honest, and I try to remove any provocation to calm her down when she gets like this.



I later caught this lovely orange fish of about 1.5kg (3 lb) which fought hard and was rewarded with the chance to fight another day, and put back. The call of the TV was obviously strong by this point and the wife was unaware of this catch, which saved it. There will be no orange-coloured pla ra this week.



Throughout the session I must have caught 8 or 10 little home-bred pla nin, such as this little chap. Maybe if they're lucky, they will one day grow to be big enough to be filleted for fish an' chips. We shall see.

They all went back today, much to Anna's disgust.

[DrWilly]

A good day fishing.

[Mendip]

^ And gets better...

Who says Isaan is shite?


Tonight, after catching a few small pla nin, the float again went under and I struck into something solid. It took a full 10 minutes to play and swam all around the pond, hugging the bottom, into reed beds, the lot. I finally saw the fish and it was a massive pla siwai.

As usual, I'd left the landing net out of reach so had to yell for the gardener who was mooching about. I couldn't risk yelling for the wife as I knew she'd want to keep the fish, and this one was going back. The daughter was nowhere to be seen.

Due to the ginormous size of the fish I had some trouble landing it... the landing net just wasn't big enough. On the third attempt the gardener grabbed the line, I was about to yell at him because once the flex of the rod is gone the line will break easily, but before I could shout, the line snapped... but the fish fell into the net. I was lucky... you never mess with someone landing a fish but all worked out OK.



The fish was lip-hooked with a barbless hook, so easily removed with no damage.

The gardener sneaked up to the house to get the scales... I swore him to 'kwamlap' which I think is secrecy, so the wife didn't get wind of the huge source of fish curry.



Yes, that is 2.7kg, or practically 6lb in real money.



Not bad at all, and put back to fight another day!



A celebratory Singha was in order... and I really don't know why people drink this.

[DrWilly]

Jeepers, why wouldn’t you eat the bastard?

[BLD]

I'm bloody impressed about how many fish of an eatable size you manage to pull out of this pond ?
Quite amazing actually. More amazing is there's even any fish left in the pond after you get back from a few months on the boat. That gardener must be a good coont?

[Shutree]

Jeepers, why wouldn’t you eat the bastard?

That is one fine fish. The CWMS is a good Isan lass and eats most things (when I am not looking) but she says that Sriped Catfish (pla sawai) have a very strong smell that she doesn't much care for.

[Edmond]

Some catch that.

I'm bloody impressed about how many fish of an eatable size you manage to pull out of this pond ?

Ditto.


Never been into fishing, but seeing Mendo in his bliss-zone kinda makes me think about picking up a rod and heading down to the local klong with the Thai lads.

[Mendip]

That is one fine fish. The CWMS is a good Isan lass and eats most things (when I am not looking) but she says that Sriped Catfish (pla sawai) have a very strong smell that she doesn't much care for.

I'm sorry Shutree, and I'm sure that I'm being dumb here, but what on earth does CWMS stand for?

I've been to Google and found 'a steep-sided hollow at the head of a valley or on a mountainside', which being a geologist with a lot of experience in glaciation I like, but I'm sure ain't what you meant. I even went to the 'Urban Dictionary' but there was nothing there that made sense.

But anyway, your 'CWMS' must be a lot more discerning tan my good wife, who I've never known turn down food on the basis of smell, or stench as I like to call it. In fact, the stenchier the better. I've tried this pla siwai before and just found it very boney and pretty shit tasting, but it was in a jungle curry so there was a lot of other awful flavours competing.