Chuck-Wow: A Kite Flying Report

[somtamslap]

Tis the time of the year that you’ll likely happen upon roadside stalls selling kites of all shapes and sizes, but the purveyors of these feats of aeronautical engineering generally look like they live in a puddle and were raised on a diet of raw rat and methamphetamine, so with this in mind I tend to spurn their nasal blatherings and zip past them briskly on my motorcycle. This is actually a great shame as I’m really quite partial to a spot of chuck – wow, it was in fact a rather time consuming hobby during my teens and seeing the vast array of kites on show along any road or street worth its salt, seemed to rekindle a lost passion.

So as my luck would have it, when I arrived at my local shop a few mornings ago with a view to relieve the fridge of half a dozen Yakults, I couldn’t see for the presence of kites. The shop-keeper, whose stock ranges from eels to shotgun shells, had used his entrepreneurial instincts to buy every single fucking kite in a 200 kilometre radius and was now actively flaunting his wares to anybody that passed his premises, and as is the wont of the Issan village, they were selling like hotcakes. Not wanting to appear to make a proverbial bandwagon jump, I waited patiently for the onslaught of excited customers to leave before choosing my own weapon. I opted for the most expensive kite in the shop which, after parting with a few shillings for an extra 100 foot length of string, came to a staggering grand total of 23 of your Earth baht. Since I was paying top dollar I insisted that I should leave with the display model which was the only red one left, as no self respecting gentleman would be seen dead flying a yellow kite – ‘I’d rather perform cunnilingus on old lady Waraporn who sleeps in the ditch’ I informed the purveyor of all things airborne. Of course, there was no come back to this confession and I left the shop hastily, red kite ensconced under my arm, eager to start the flying process.

I returned home to somewhat of a hero’s welcome from my children and the pair of reprobates from next door who seem to think I like them being in my house and after assembling the whopping 20 baht airbus, which took less the one second, we made a beeline for the back of my abode into a suitable opening.

A generous amount of effing and blinding ensued as string became tangled, wind became uncooperative and pieces of the kite started to fall off. However, the violent hurling of obscenities into the country air came to an abrupt end when I managed to muster a 100 metre sprint and finally got the fucking thing afloat. Coos of admiration proceeded as the children’s gazes followed the dramatically ascending kite. It was passed around for a few minutes, a discarded plastic water bottle being used for a handle, and after a short while I was met with a selection of confused looks – ‘What happens next then?’ the little faces appeared to enquire.

The nerve of some people! I worked like a fucking Trojan to get this fucking thing airborne. What happens next is you watch that small piece of red material up there flying, consistently I might add, at 150 feet above the ground – it’s ART, no more, no less.

But alas, the young minds were obviously not ready for such levels of abstract symbology and promptly sauntered back to the solace of Ben 10 and Barbie.

I, on the contrary, retrieved a magnificiently digestible book of short stories from the breakfast bar and spent the rest of the day reading and flying my kite. A day thoroughly well spent..

Spectacular surroundings ..

Art..

Book..

[Davis Knowlton]

A job well done, a day well spent. I spent the day feeding my new arowana live guppies. Fun for the whole family.

[somtamslap]

I spent the day feeding my new arowana live guppies. Fun for the whole family.

Even sounds more fun than kite flying, Davis...got any pics?

[Davis Knowlton]

^I still haven't bothered to learn how to post pictures. It's only been a little over two years. Plus, it's kind of boring sitting there with camera in hand waiting for the vicious little fucker to strike. Maybe how to post pictures will be my project for next week. Then, since the twins just informed me that they are on semester break for the next ten days, I can post one of them in front of the aquarium with the camera. Will let you know.

[Rural Surin]

What sort of horticulture are you tending on your property, Slap?

[somtamslap]

What sort of horticulture are you tending on your property, Slap?

We just have a humble dragon fruit and custard apple plantation, but in the picture above you can see mangos, sugar cane and custard apple..

[SEA Traveler]

STS, seeing that you have done a fair amount of kite flying, I'm surprised that you did not have the kids write a message on a small piece of paper and then send it on it's way up the string to the kite. Always a treat when it finally reached the kite... I'm not saying that I've done a lot of kite flying but I have had the opportunity to teach 2 of my kids how to fly kits and we even made a kite from scratch once. A trade my own father passed on to me. We used the Sunday paper colored comic section of the paper to make the kite.

Glad you had a nice day as the weather seemed nice up your way.

[somtamslap]

but in the picture above you can see mangos, sugar cane and custard apple..

and sweetcorn.

and we even made a kite from scratch once.

This is what I plan to do over the course of the next week - not sure what materials I'm going to use but bamboo will definitely feature for the frame.

[Rural Surin]

What sort of horticulture are you tending on your property, Slap?

We just have a humble dragon fruit and custard apple plantation, but in the picture above you can see mangos, sugar cane and custard apple..

Sounds pleasing!
Good on ya!

[laymond]

hey slap,what does chuck wow mean???i think i have heard it before.

[somtamslap]

Here's an interesting piece on the history of kite flying in old Siam

Chuck wow: How the Thai elite loved flying kites

From the article:

Kite flying also played a part in warfare. When Phra Petracha invaded Ratchsima in 1690 he attached clay pots filled with oil to each kite and flew them over Ratchsima’s city wall. Then he lit the wires attached to the pots, so they burnt and a rain of fire was dropped into the city, which made Ayutthaya secure Ratchsima as its dependency (Phraya Pirom, 17). Further as the dominant style of Thai historiography goes, the early Bangkok era (1782-present) saw King Rama II (r.1809-1824) become a fan of kite flying (Phraya Pirom, 18).

[artist]

Sounds disappointing do they not have green kites with a letter C in the centre and small print with award winning....... logo.

[somtamslap]

hey slap,what does chuck wow mean???

'To fly/tug a kite' which is slang for 'wanking'..

[somtamslap]

do they not have green kites with a letter C in the centre and small print with award winning....... logo.

Good plan - I'll construct a kite using bamboo and old Chang boxes - should definitely be worth a few freebies.

[superman]

hey slap,what does chuck wow mean???

'To fly/tug a kite' which is slang for 'wanking'..

That sounds more interesting than kite flying.

[somtamslap]

^ Nonsense.

Check this out for altitude.

In the event of turbulence due to crashing into a bastard cloud, give your wow a rigorous chucking..

[Bettyboo]

hey slap,what does chuck wow mean???

'To fly/tug a kite' which is slang for 'wanking'..

So, should this thread be merged with the Epic Nom of Japan thread?

[Mid]

Another classic OP from the Slap

thanxs .

[laymond]

hey slap,what does chuck wow mean???

'To fly/tug a kite' which is slang for 'wanking'..

thanks for that champ,i have been pullin myself for ten years now,when i should have been flying a kite.

[Bettyboo]

^ how old are you, just out of interest - it's nothing sexual... If it's not a personal question.

[OhOh]

The locals look on with awe at the felang in the yellow dress.

[OhOh]

The kite is up - preparing for the monday commute



With a cheary wave off to the office.



No holding him bck now



leaving the village to cross the flooded fields



He is due back in the village on friday.

[Albert Shagnasty]

green

[nevets]

In Afganistan the people put glass and glue on the string to cut the string of the other kite flyers last one flying wins .

[somtamslap]

In Afganistan the people put glass and glue on the string to cut the string of the other kite flyers last one flying wins .

This is next on my reading list..



Don't no where I'll get a copy though, and reading online is a pain in the arse..