"Fitting in" in your Isaan village. 8 Key points

[genghis61]

Ok I'm bored, rained-in today, headache from a budget tooth extarction (272 baht since you asked) . . . so took the time to summarise the key points from a thread on another forum on how to fit in . . .

This all, apparently, that it takes:

Finances

• Be generous around your village. Give (however small or little) to the elderly in the moo-barn. Give to your local temple and school. Help those in dire need and the elderly.
• Buy a big case of "Lao Khao" and bring some "ocean food" with you when you come from Bkk.
• Regularly eat at the local noodle shops
• Never loan money in the village, Thais dont understand the word "loan"

Relationships

• Smile, smile, and go on smiling. Never confront a local. Just smile and politely excuse yourself to leave the scene.
• Wai/sawadee everyone. Thai loves this. If you do this everyday to everyone your life will be so much better and easy. Don't wai other farangs, we shake hands.
• Speak Thai
• Visit people. Take part in the village social life. Attend parties for weddings, funerals, special events, and hold your own when applicable.

Pleased to have been of assistance.

Wowser alert: NB No offence intended

[dirtydog]

Attend parties for weddings, funerals, special events,

and hold your own when applicable.

Probably not much choice on that one

[somtamslap]

Don't wai other farangs, we shake hands.

Other farangs...you're in a city not a village..when we see other farangs here we run away cos we're all a bunch of xenophobic wankers..either that or stare, blatantly..

[genghis61]

answering my own thread - told you I was bored. Don't know what qualifies as 'village', my life in Sa Kaeo seems very progressive in comparison. I guess there may be 1000 people within 5km. 26km to a 7/11 and nearest ATM if that counts as civilisation?

• I give nothing money-wise to local elderly, temple or school. I have never been asked for contribute. I'm joining a school trip to Bangkok on Tuesday as an 'adult helper', no problem, was nice to be invited and look forward to the trip. I am not Buddhist; and the family I've become attached to barely qualify as temple-folk- last time any of them went was Songkran, so not 'big' on the temple business. Elderly - sure there are some old people around but I've never felt the urge to randomly donate. Two houses on the farm are occupied, rent-free, by older couples who for whatever reasons have no children supporting them
• I shouted a dozen Chang to b-in-law's farm workers who helped me build a lean-to on the house, just as I would anywhere, certainly no big piss-up. I drank my share. The 'family' don't drink, coffee/tea even so I think I struck it lucky there.
• I don't like noodles, prefer home-cooked local food.
• I was asked to loan money once - friend of my partner wanted 30k. I explained my 'never a lender nor borrower be' principle and that was the end of that; secondary was that my partner had more than enough to loan and when i asked why she wouldn't, she said because she probably wouldn't get it back. Well . . . end of conversation.

• I'll smile if I'm happy; I'm polite. I don't back down and successfully managed a house redevelopment and some land lease issues without conflict. I'd go with 'firm but fair' rather than some gawping loon with a fixed fake grin
• I wai for no-one, the family certainly don't expect it or I'd have heard about it by now. Well almost no-one, September 2009 I met someone aged and important and was warned beforehand to make the effort, and I did. Business people I've dealt with locally always offer a handshake.
• Speak Thai - I enjoy learning and progressing slowly, because I want to and I like to be able o do my own shopping
• Village social life? Spare me - there isn't a real sense of 'community' beyond the extended family. The rocket-firing and mud-throwing 'festival' was fun, but there is no 'village social life' as such. People have jobs, businesses, their own 'lives'. I maintain the neighbourhood bicycles, my little hobby, last holidays gave swimming lessons in the reservoir to 12 local kids.

Fire away . . .

[baby maker]

Fire away . . .

What's to say....genghis, old sod....you are bored shit less...

why don't you get back to clubbing baby seals...to relieve the boredom...
goes with the look

[Smug Farang Bore]

Pay Pay Pay.....

That will keep them happy

Koi sung jaaw lai lai fulung.

[koman]

The best possible strategy is to stay as far away from the village as possible. There is absolutely nothing for you there, except throwing your money into a bottomless pit. If you really want to give all your money away, send it to that Imam in New York to help them build their Mosque. At least that will bring us closer to WW3 and end all this agony.

[superman]

The best possible strategy is to stay as far away from the village as possible. There is absolutely nothing for you there, except throwing your money into a bottomless pit.

How did you come to that conclusion ?

[Chairman Mao]

I maintain the neighbourhood bicycles, my little hobby, last holidays gave swimming lessons in the reservoir to 12 local kids.

Geez, good on ya, I'd be apprehensive with taking 12 kids swimming in a reservoir. Coming back one short mightn't win many friends.

I'd love to move back to a village (well not back, lived among theoutskirts of a small/medium sized Isaan city for 18 months). Setting up a classroom somewhere and teaching the little ones some Engrish for an hour in the afternoon or evening everyday FoC would probably win you over with the locals, be a lot of fun with little ones, and give something back to the community.

[koman]

[quote=superman;1552770]

The best possible strategy is to stay as far away from the village as possible. There is absolutely nothing for you there, except throwing your money into a bottomless pit.[/quote

How did you come to that conclusion ?

Been there, done that. Know lots of others who have had the same experience.
There are some exceptions, but that is the norm. I have visited so many villages where there are 2, 3 or 4 "farang" houses sitting derelict and often uncompleted. Why?
Because the farang was getting sucked dry and finally got the message. There is always another one in the waiting. As they say "fools rush in"
And that is how I came to my conclusion.

[Chairman Mao]

So your experience was rushing in, buying 'teerak' and her family lots of stuff, and getting fleeced, then hermit-ing yourself away from the locals in disgust.

Let me guess, were you 20 yrs older than 'teerak' too?

"fools rush in"

Couldn't agree more.

[superman]

Been there, done that. Know lots of others who have had the same experience. There are some exceptions, but that is the norm. I have visited so many villages where there are 2, 3 or 4 "farang" houses sitting derelict and often uncompleted. Why? Because the farang was getting sucked dry and finally got the message. There is always another one in the waiting. As they say "fools rush in" And that is how I came to my conclusion.

I can't say I've seen what you've seen but I have seen the "farang was getting sucked dry" bit many a time. As for the houses "uncompleted". Never. A good village girl will not kill the goose until the car's been bought, house has been finished, had her 5 Baht gold and 1 million Baht sin sot and the 20 Rai of rubber trees. I've never seen a ex-farang's house unfinished, Thais yes. Which reminds me of a local farang who's wife dumped him once the above had been completed. The wife minced back off to Pattaya leaving the house sitting on mama's land. Mama wanted 400,000 for the rights to cross the land to use the house. Being as he had all the receipts for the build, he went to the police and explained his intentions. He returned to his house with a bulldozer and flattened the lot as the police looked on. No charges brought.

[koman]

So your experience was rushing in, buying 'teerak' and her family lots of stuff, and getting fleeced, then hermit-ing yourself away from the locals in disgust.

Let me guess, were you 20 yrs older than 'teerak' too?

"fools rush in"

Couldn't agree more.

Ah I see, so based on my few lines of text you can come to such a conclusion.

Well, No I did nothing of the sort. No rushing in, No buying anything, did not get fleeced. (but as I indicated, I know lots of others who did) I lived in a village (actually two) for periods of 3 months and about 6 months. Like most farangs, I found it quite charming, until the novelty wore off. I did not hermit myself away at all. In fact I left on very good terms in each case , and moved to a place where you can have some social discourse, access to decent shopping, and not have to put up with blaring Murlam music at 5am, mosquitoes, flies, dust, cow shit everywhere and mind numbing boredom. There are lots of dreamers, Idealists, back to the land types, and those good souls who want to save the Thais from themselves living out in the villages, but the attrition rate is high.

I respect the opinions of those who disagree and......PLEASE, knock yourself out, move to a nice remote farming village if you really enjoy these things. I did say there were exceptions, so just hope that you are one of them. Odds I would rate at about 25:1 ..and don't forget to ask the locals about the derelict farang houses There is sure to be one or two about.

[koman]

Been there, done that. Know lots of others who have had the same experience. There are some exceptions, but that is the norm. I have visited so many villages where there are 2, 3 or 4 "farang" houses sitting derelict and often uncompleted. Why? Because the farang was getting sucked dry and finally got the message. There is always another one in the waiting. As they say "fools rush in" And that is how I came to my conclusion.

I can't say I've seen what you've seen but I have seen the "farang was getting sucked dry" bit many a time. As for the houses "uncompleted". Never. A good village girl will not kill the goose until the car's been bought, house has been finished, had her 5 Baht gold and 1 million Baht sin sot and the 20 Rai of rubber trees. I've never seen a ex-farang's house unfinished, Thais yes. Which reminds me of a local farang who's wife dumped him once the above had been completed. The wife minced back off to Pattaya leaving the house sitting on mama's land. Mama wanted 400,000 for the rights to cross the land to use the house. Being as he had all the receipts for the build, he went to the police and explained his intentions. He returned to his house with a bulldozer and flattened the lot as the police looked on. No charges brought.

OK Superman, I may have misspoke when I said "often unfinished" but I know of several houses which were under construction and abandoned by a farang who must have realized what was going down. (One is a huge skeleton of a thing where the trees are several meters high inside!!) I was told it was being built by a guy from Switzerland who had spent a whole month learning all there is to know about
Thailand and decided that he wanted to retire to the peace and tranquility of the countryside with a lovely 22 year old, no doubt with bar-tending experience

Love your bulldozer story. Too bad more farangs don't have the balls to do things like that. Might slow down the predators a bit.

[Chairman Mao]

I lived in a village (actually two) for periods of 3 months and about 6 months.


Odds I would rate at about 25:1 ..

Obviously an expert after such a length of immersion.

[Chairman Mao]

Love your bulldozer story. Too bad more farangs don't have the balls to do things like that.

Funnily enough I must have heard this story from about 50 different blokes at least.

Pity all these simpletons didn't get their houses built from the prefab wooden depots.

Just a matter of calling them up and telling them to dismantle and move it to the next bird's land.

[superman]

Funnily enough I must have heard this story from about 50 different blokes at least

I actually visited the site whist passing. 10 km west of Nong Ki on route 24. The genuine place. It happened approximately 4 years ago. Anyone tells you it happened elsewhere is a bullshitter.

[Marmite the Dog]

I live in a village, but it's not ban nok, so I can ignore all the being nice, waiing and wasting money on people I don't know or care about.

[DrAndy]

I live in a village, but it's not ban nok, so I can ignore all the being nice, waiing and wasting money on people I don't know or care about.

Is that what people do!?

[Jesper]

I hated Sa Kaeo when i was there but now that I am currently in Sweden and the GF is in Sa Kaeo I would love to go back :P

[backinpd2007]

Agreed with Genghis. But never be too generous with the locals ,unless they have earned it first. If you find a good worker, reward him with a slightly higher rate of pay and he'll be there whenever you need him.

[superman]

I am currently in Sweden and the GF is in Sa Kaeo

Thanks for the info Jesper. Send her address and I'll pop round to see if she's okay.

[Marmite the Dog]

I live in a village, but it's not ban nok, so I can ignore all the being nice, waiing and wasting money on people I don't know or care about.

Is that what people do!?

Apparently so, according to the OP.

[koman]

I lived in a village (actually two) for periods of 3 months and about 6 months.


Odds I would rate at about 25:1 ..

Obviously an expert after such a length of immersion.

An advocate of immersion learning are we? How much immersion do you need to figure out something this simple.? Having asked, I do realize that some people just learn faster than others, and some of course never learn at all. This explains why some village farang houses are completed and shiny pickups are to be seen parked outside, while other similar projects are abandoned well before the last baht is sucked out.

BTW. You can learn form the experiences of others and their mistakes. You don't have to do all the same stupid things and replicate the same mistakes to become an "expert" as you put it. Come to think of it, it's much better to learn from the mistakes of others....saves you a shitload of cash...

[genghis61]

well, this was intended to be a light-hearted Sunday afternoon thread
behave, children! Can't we just get along?


Genghis Towers, under construction June 2010. Must take some new pics.

We renovated her existing house, a work in progress - $ from farm's 2009 sugar payout; my contribution was some labour, all the painting/paint materials, and hurrying along the builders. Mainly developed the ground floor - one 6x3 room/office and the rest tiled/open area. The rest can wait. Never considered building new though she also inherited a plot of land for her 'dream home'. Dream on as they say.


A local farmhouse

I've been wrong so often with 'farang house' there have been so many houses built recently by locals in what I'd describe as western-style, one I admire (not the one in pic) looks like it came from a magazine has a good lawn out front and little knee-high hedges round the gardens. The bigger landowners seem to be doing well, still plenty more being built.

There was a house for sale about 20km from here, built late 2008 and never lived-in, understand it sold June this year for 700,000, as per earlier posts a relationship went wrong, owner bailed out having spent 1.2m+ on construction. That's the only one I'm aware of around here.

My role model in all this is/was former Phuket neighbour, 76, who did the lot - 3.4m house plus furnishings, car, 2 mbikes, all in young gf's name; she's now with Farang #2 (or possible 3, 4) waiting for him to die and take possession. If there is any humour in this, is that he now has a new 'cashier' on the premises who's unaware of GF#1 and naturally thinks it'll all be hers.