My Thai Daughter

[stfranalum]

how does a academic advisor balance the needs and bests interests of a student over squeezing a kid for another year of tuition money for the school. Let's be honest ... these universities today are just as much of a business nowadays as they are an institution of higher learning.

this is exactly what happened to me. my advisor sucked and my wanting to take really cool anthropology classes has left me in a situation where i have very few...just a couple of the Gen Ed requirements to get a teaching license now. in fact, to get a teaching license, i would basically have to go to school for 2-3 years OF JUST REQUIREMENTS before even starting the education classes themselves. i have an MA in english btw!!!!

ridiculous. and since they're a business, the customer needs to be a lot more savvy than they did some time back.

caveat emptor

[rickschoppers]

There is no way she is over her head academically if she graduated from high school with a 3.25 GPA overall. She could definitely go from a B- to an F if she did not take the final in the class. If I were you Storekeeper, I would go speak to both of the professors that taught the classes where she received the F as a final grade. Often times they will know what causes a student to fail. If I had to guess, she was either distracted, or just gave up by not taking the finals. The good news is that she can repeat those two classes and replace the F with passing grades.

Pre-nursing is a rigorous curriculum. I was pre-dentistry at the first University I attended where the pre-requisites were the same for pre-med, pre-dent, pre-pharmacy and pre-nursing. That was the only kind of student I had in my classes my first semester. I was on a four year full ride football scholarship and I flunked out.. My reasons were joining a fraternity, too much partying and feeling overwhelmed by some very smart students. I attended a Community College for one year and received good grades. I then transfered to the University of Nevada Reno where I attended for two years. I then applied and was accepted to the College of Pharmacy at the University of Utah. All the classes I failed at my first university, I re-took and got good grades. You may consider this type of route for your daughter.

Your daughter definitely has the smarts, but may feel a bit overwhelmed at such a large university, as I did. The immaturity factor definitely played a huge role in my first year of college, and it sounds like something similar has happened to your daughter. Take it for what it is worth.

[stfranalum]

I would go speak to both of the professors that taught the classes where she received the F as a final grade. Often times they will know what causes a student to fail.

not so sure about that. freshman classes are usually big and talking to the professor is about as effective as....

the biggest distraction is at home. her apartment or wherever. she simply isnt spending time studying. the biggest question is: what is she actually doing? it's gotta be something. either something bad or she just doesnt want to study and just wants to work, and play adult for a while, which is a real thing.

the academics bit is the easiest thing, once you've put your mind to it.

college professors dont want to talk to parents and often they dont even know student names. if you asked to see if she attended classes, many will say they don't even take attendance. and those who do, might give you an answer but are unlikely to have any decent info on your kid. go talk to her neighbors and if you can, see what she's up to online. follow her around (i know that sounds like stalking), but if she did well in high school and i failing out her first year, there is something going on. best guess is, 1. boys, 2. partying, 3. both, or 4. self obsession and lack of desire to learn, no matter how much she tells dad she wants to "be in college".

undergrad isnt that hard. go to class. do your work to a minimum degree of effort and you pass. F's are because one of the said reasons aren't being done.

[Storekeeper]

So basically .... I'm armed with new information now:

1. Classes can be taken free (no extra charge) during the winter intermission that count towards the 18 credits per semester.
2. WSU offers online classes that are cheaper and in many cases easier.
3. Possible to take some classes during summer break at Olympic College that are much cheaper. Just have to make sure WSU will accept them.

I guess the bottom line and thing that needs to be continually reinforced is that my generosity has a shelf life of 8 semesters and will stand as originally planned at ending in 2020 at the agreed upon date from the very beginning.

All of your responses are much appreciated ... you have helped me whether you realize it or not.

Thank you.

*** She loves WSU ... loves Pullman ... loves being away from her parents.

[Cold Pizza]

So basically .... I'm armed with new information now:

1. Classes can be taken free (no extra charge) during the winter intermission that count towards the 18 credits per semester.
2. WSU offers online classes that are cheaper and in many cases easier.
3. Possible to take some classes during summer break at Olympic College that are much cheaper. Just have to make sure WSU will accept them.

I guess the bottom line and thing that needs to be continually reinforced is that my generosity has a shelf life of 8 semesters and will stand as originally planned at ending in 2020 at the agreed upon date from the very beginning.

All of your responses are much appreciated ... you have helped me whether you realize it or not.

Thank you.

*** She loves WSU ... loves Pullman ... loves being away from her parents.

Thanks for sharing, you're a good guy and best of luck to all.

[rickschoppers]

I would go speak to both of the professors that taught the classes where she received the F as a final grade. Often times they will know what causes a student to fail.

not so sure about that. freshman classes are usually big and talking to the professor is about as effective as....

the biggest distraction is at home. her apartment or wherever. she simply isnt spending time studying. the biggest question is: what is she actually doing? it's gotta be something. either something bad or she just doesnt want to study and just wants to work, and play adult for a while, which is a real thing.

the academics bit is the easiest thing, once you've put your mind to it.

college professors dont want to talk to parents and often they dont even know student names. if you asked to see if she attended classes, many will say they don't even take attendance. and those who do, might give you an answer but are unlikely to have any decent info on your kid. go talk to her neighbors and if you can, see what she's up to online. follow her around (i know that sounds like stalking), but if she did well in high school and i failing out her first year, there is something going on. best guess is, 1. boys, 2. partying, 3. both, or 4. self obsession and lack of desire to learn, no matter how much she tells dad she wants to "be in college".

undergrad isnt that hard. go to class. do your work to a minimum degree of effort and you pass. F's are because one of the said reasons aren't being done.

Uhm, I would still go speak to her professors since they would know at a minimum if she took the finals or not. Definitely worth doing.

[Storekeeper]

I would still go speak to her professors

No can do Rick. We the parents are in Yokosuka, Japan and the daughter is in Pullman, WA.

[cyrille]

go talk to her neighbors and if you can, see what she's up to online. follow her around

There are lots of private investigators around in those parts judging by the tv programmes.

Why not send her a bottle of vodka or something and then have one of them dust it for prints?

[Cold Pizza]

I would still go speak to her professors

No can do Rick. We the parents are in Yokosuka, Japan and the daughter is in Pullman, WA.

You could directly email the Professor.

[PeeCoffee]

So basically .... I'm armed with new information now:

*** She loves WSU ... loves Pullman ... loves being away from her parents.

As she should - Go Cougs !

If you ever get a chance to visit WSU-Pullman please visit the 'zoo' , particularly their Bear Center enclosures affiliated with the School of Veterinary and Animal Sciences. It's as close as one ever wants to get to a grizzly - those huge, potentially-deadly-when-provoked bears...and of couse their cuddly-cute cubs.

Now what do booze, fraternities, hazing and grizzlies have to do with this ?
Just could make for some interesting University lore , couldn't it.

And do not forget the in-house, home-made ice cream and 'Cougar Cheeses' from the creamery of their Food Sciences program.

[rickschoppers]

I would still go speak to her professors

No can do Rick. We the parents are in Yokosuka, Japan and the daughter is in Pullman, WA.

You could directly email the Professor.

Or use a telephone. We never have heard if your daughter took the finals of the two failed classes.

[Storekeeper]

I would still go speak to her professors

No can do Rick. We the parents are in Yokosuka, Japan and the daughter is in Pullman, WA.

You could directly email the Professor.

Or use a telephone. We never have heard if your daughter took the finals of the two failed classes.

TBH I was under the impression after attending the 3 day Alive Session on campus for parents back in July that confidentiality prevents professors from discussing grades with parents. In fact, the school would not give me access to her grades. I had to pull teeth to get my daughter to give me parental access. So I can see her daily RDA (dining) account, status of loans, charges and finally got access to her grades. I'm going to go Post in the Parent Chat group and ask about emailing professors.

[Storekeeper]

So basically .... I'm armed with new information now:

*** She loves WSU ... loves Pullman ... loves being away from her parents.

As she should - Go Cougs !

If you ever get a chance to visit WSU-Pullman please visit the 'zoo' , particularly their Bear Center enclosures affiliated with the School of Veterinary and Animal Sciences. It's as close as one ever wants to get to a grizzly - those huge, potentially-deadly-when-provoked bears...and of couse their cuddly-cute cubs.

Now what do booze, fraternities, hazing and grizzlies have to do with this ?
Just could make for some interesting University lore , couldn't it.

And do not forget the in-house, home-made ice cream and 'Cougar Cheeses' from the creamery of their Food Sciences program.

Have been to Pullman three times. Was quite shocked to find a D1 university in such a super small town in the middle of nowhere basically. But I've heard about the ice cream and the cheese. FYI ... this coming weekend is Mom's Weekend if we were there for my wife to attend. She loves that stuff.

I can hardly imagine being in Pullman for a game during football season. Christ Almighty ... and Ive read how the very few hotels seriously gouge during those times.

Heard stories about kegs being rolled down hill and left in the streets back in the old days. Lots of faculty and alumni parents have made it a point to let new parents know it's nowhere near as wild as it was back before say 2000.

[12Call]

Cannot be arsed to read 6 pages.

What is the end goal for your daughter Storekeeper ?

[Storekeeper]

Cannot be arsed to read 6 pages.

What is the end goal for your daughter Storekeeper ?

To graduate on time in 2020. And to make sure both she and her mother understand the Paymaster General will pay for nothing beyond that.

[12Call]

I wish you all the best.

[stfranalum]

To graduate on time in 2020. And to make sure both she and her mother understand the Paymaster General will pay for nothing beyond that.

frankly, SK...a kid who gets a 3.25 in high school and then Fs in her first year....doesn't understand that (you will not pay beyond 2020).

and who can blame her? she wants to be connected to daddy.

mind me asking, but are you separated? just wondering if your paying for her and the spouse (you mentioned here in the Paymaster General comment) is something that you're doing out of loyalty, or doing the right thing...or if you're living with your wife and only meant your kid. i don't mean to be too nebby here (you did bring it up!) but in terms of her attitude and not waking up to smell the coffee, your relationship and more importantly, your role of supporter might be in the dark recesses of her mind. kids do stuff like that- foul up because they want support and may not be ready to be on their own. just an idea n'at.

[Storekeeper]

^ I know I need to think about some things after the advice I've been given in this thread. To be clear I always refer to her as my daughter but in fact she's my step-daughter. We're still together but the wife has pretty much left the education side of raising a kid up to me.

There are some communication and respect issues here I think that I need to get resolved. Some of the questions I've been asked I don't have answers to and getting them from my daughter is like pulling teeth.

[12Call]

Closing wifi can cause a reaction.

[stfranalum]

^^ well that clarifies it for me (not that it matters, but i was giving advice and now have a clearer idea of your situation).

good luck SK. clearly, she's lucky to have you there supporting her and such. i can totally see how you need to set limits and how tricky that can be, because, well, young adultz be difficult.

[LarryGee]

I am a professor at a state university in the US, and I can confirm that we are not allowed to discuss the affairs of students with their parents, unless the student gives permission. Look up FERPA for clarification.

[LarryGee]

I never really thought about this too much before, but I've had a few Thai or Lao students in my classes over the years. For some reason, most of them got Ds in my classes where the average grade was something like a B. I have no idea why, but it seems like they didn't want to put the time in to do well. These were lower and upper division psychology classes that really weren't that tough.

[rickschoppers]

I am a professor at a state university in the US, and I can confirm that we are not allowed to discuss the affairs of students with their parents, unless the student gives permission. Look up FERPA for clarification.

A very silly regulation, especially if the parents are paying for the education. I can understand protecting the student's information, but we are talking about parents here.

[Cold Pizza]

I am a professor at a state university in the US, and I can confirm that we are not allowed to discuss the affairs of students with their parents, unless the student gives permission. Look up FERPA for clarification.

A very silly regulation, especially if the parents are paying for the education. I can understand protecting the student's information, but we are talking about parents here.

Almost all of these students are over 18, so I assume that may be part of (or the) reason. They're legally considerd, "adults" I think.

[rickschoppers]

Possibly so, but it is still a bit silly if the parents are footing the bill. Even hospitals will give out medical information to direct family. The US has just gone too far with the PC stuff.